Your Opinion Doesn’t Matter

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Shut It, Babe – SketcBook Pro for iPad (2017)

Have you ever met people who always be so fussy about whatever you do? Always think that their opinion is right and makes you feel unsure about what you do?

Sometimes you may hear something like: Why you seem so skinny? Oh are you gaining weight? You never post the picture with him again, are you guys done? Your style is so outdated! That blush color makes your cheeks look chubbier! You want to be an actor? Just enjoy the life you have now, don’t seek something impossible, darling. And… etc.

Wear those unmatched color outfits you like, gain weight, lose weight, get serious, or break up, be an actor/artist/musician do whatever things that suit you well. Their opinion doesn’t matter for you, you have your own choice so don’t let anybody control your decision with their opinion.

Maybe some people are…

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The Truth Hurts – Truth is a Gift

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The Truth Hurts – Love me at my worst

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Are you really Sorry? – Reasons why people will Never Apologize


For non-apologists, saying “I’m sorry” carries psychological ramifications that run far deeper than the words themselves imply; it elicits fundamental fears (either conscious or unconscious) they desperately want to avoid:

  • Admissions of wrong doing are incredibly threatening for non-apologists because they have trouble separating their actions from their character. If they did something bad, they must be bad people; if they were neglectful, they must be fundamentally selfish and uncaring; if they were wrong, they must be ignorant or stupid, etc. Therefore, apologies represent a major threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem.
  • Apologizing might open the door to guilt for most of us, but for non-apologists, it can open the door instead to shame. While guilt makes us feel bad about our actions, shame makes them feel bad about their selves—who they are—which makes shame a far more toxic emotion than guilt.
  • While most of us consider apologies as opportunities to resolve interpersonal conflict, non-apologists may fear their apology will only open the floodgates to further accusations and conflict. Once they admit to one wrongdoing, surely the other person will pounce on the opportunity to pile on all the previous offenses for which they refused to apologize as well.
  • Non-apologists fear that by apologizing, they would assume full responsibility and relieve the other party of any culpability—if arguing with a spouse, for example, they might fear an apology would exempt the spouse from taking any blame for a disagreement, despite the fact that each member of a couple has at least some responsibility in most arguments.

By refusing to apologize, non-apologists are trying to manage their emotions. They are often comfortable with anger, irritability, and emotional distance, and experience emotional closeness and vulnerability to be extremely threatening. They fear that lowering their guard even slightly will make their psychological defenses crumble and open the floodgates to a well of sadness and despair that will pour out of them, leaving them powerless to stop it. They might be correct. However, they are incorrect in assuming that exhibiting these deep and pent-up emotions (as long as they get support, love, and caring when they do—which fortunately, is often the case), will be traumatic and damaging. Opening up in such a way is often incredibly therapeutic and empowering, and it can lead them to experience far deeper emotional closeness and trust toward the other person, significantly deepening their relationship satisfaction.

Credit: Psychology Today

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The Truth Hurts – We take everything for Granted

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