Unicorn Frappuccino – Will you try it?

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The Foods Around Me

Probably the worst tasting Starbucks drink ever to be created. Literally tastes like a unicorn went to chipotle and shit in a cup.

Unicorn Frappucino:

An instant star of social media platforms, it’s literally on all of them check. Starbucks released this limited time drink in all stores this week. Being completely different than all other drink releases the description on the drink is absolutely terrible.

The Starbucks description reads:

“The flavor-changing, color-changing, totally-not-made-up Unicorn Frappuccino. Magical flavors start off sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour. Swirl it to reveal a color-changing spectacle of purple and pink. It’s finished with whipped cream sprinkled pink and blue fairy powders.”

How it should be described:

This drink misses its mark on all levels. The sweetness completely overpowers the flavors of the drink. Its sourness is a blue raspberry that takes away from the mango syrup. The consistency doesn’t help the uniqueness in flavor. It has a…

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Unicorn by Ryan Fu (RIP Prince)

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I was totally over it.

Standing in front of Kitson with the rest of the assholes waiting for Kim with her sisters to come out of the store so we could shoot them for the thousandth time this week. I was starting to hate the job, shooting basically the same people over and over again, feeling a bit burnt from the job. I needed to change it up or do something else because starting to lose my taste for the job. Kim along with her sisters come out of the store to the waiting flashes of photogs as we shoot her once again. I was starting to lose my mind, I needed a frappuccino to calm my nerves down. 

After the gangbang I decided to go to Starbucks at the Farmer’s Market near the Grove. I park my whip walking inside the market feeling a bit depressed about my current position in life. That’s when it happened, the event that sparked my interest once again for the job.

I spotted the myth, the legend, the artists that was formerly called Prince at the fruit section of the Farmer’s Market.

I know what you’re thinking no fucking way, but there he was looking at cantaloupes in his matching white bell bottom pants with a silk shirt and a Liberace ruffled jacket looking, so fresh and clean that dust didn’t want to touch him. His hair was also on point looking luxurious as always as he seemingly looked like he woke up like that because I couldn’t imagine Prince having bed head when he gets up in the morning. I don’t even think he needs sleep like the rest of us because he wasn’t human. He was something more, he was too special to be from this Earth.

But he was trying so hard to look normal that it looked strange as fuck. I’m guessing he was tired of being treated like an alien from a different planet. Like all super famous people they occasionally wanted to be treated like normal people even though they were very far from it with their extra ordinary talents. They wanted to do normal things without the prying eyes of the media chronicling and filming their every move.

But here we were the Prince and I, on very different sides of the entertainment field. My hand on my “Soul Catcher” about to capture this magical moment between us but I couldn’t pull the trigger, not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t want to. 

As he finally notices me about to shoot him as he stands perfectly still like beautiful unicorn in the magical forest waiting for me to do something, which was nothing.

I remember someone once said, “beautiful things don’t ask for attention.” 

We stand there not as cat and mouse but as equals. I didn’t want to capture this moment between Prince and I because wanted to be in the moment not wanting to share it with anyone. We stay in those precious moments for a couple more seconds then he disappears into the mundane leaving me baffled but amazed at the same time wondering what the fuck just happened. That was the first and last time I saw Prince but the desire for this job was back.

A part of me wanted to travel back time, not to tell myself to shoot it but to experience it again all over and maybe have the courage to act normal. To not stare at him like he was a freak but as a normal dude, doing normal ass things. Regardless of what I wanted to happen, I was still happy that it did happen because I needed to experience something different.

I needed to remember how to act like a normal human being again. As once again I had the fire in my belly to be a paparazzi again but more over I wanted to be inspired as I continue on this magical adventure called life trying to find another unicorn.


Prince Kicks Kim Kardashian Off Stage


Not long after that, a friend took me to see Prince at the famous Forum in Los Angeles, when he had a residency there for a couple of weeks. I knew that he was a talented musician but I wasn’t a true fan of his not until I witnessed what I saw that night. From beginning to end, Prince blew my mind along with everyone else in the building. This man played every instrument imaginable and never missed a beat as the huge crowd stood up longer than I’ve ever seen in a concert giving him a standing ovation, which was well-deserved because we were not seeing a concert, we were witnessing history. RIP Prince, you will be missed.

RYAN FU

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Games of Thrones- Season Premiere(Two Swords) “My Little Pony”

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WRITTEN BY: RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ

Let me say this first before I continue on with the review of the episode, “Thank the Gods that this show is back on TV,” since the season ending of The Walking Dead and True Detective is done for the season, I was about to actually pick up a book. HBO totally knows what they are doing, spacing great shows back to back, so we get the best shows possible. I think they even plan it out so you have to watch Girls and see Lena Dunham naked a bunch of times, which makes you appreciate hot fucking girls on G.O.T. take off their clothes. I am sad that some of the Starks aren’t coming back this season but we will never forget them and so will the Northerners. The North will never forget and what is dead will never die.

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The episode opens up with Tywin Lannister forging a new sword from the fallen Young Wolf for his son, Jaime Lannister. We see Jaime back in the Kings Guard armor but the Hand of King does not want Jaime to be of the Kings Guard. Tywin wants his son to be more than a personal bodyguard. But Jaime wants to regain some of his lost honor back and remains in the Guard.

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This is not the same confident Lannister we have seen in the last couple of seasons. He is far different from his former self, which we can see as he gets accustomed to a new hand. His former love Cersei feels the difference between them and gives him the cold shoulder.

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Which I thought, what a horrible bitch! He had to deal with a bunch of shit to get back to Kings Landing including getting his hand getting cut off. At least give him a hand job! (Horrible joke I know, I couldn’t resist.)

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Then we see Jaime dealing with Joffrey, making plans to protect him but Joffrey the little shit makes fun of his own Uncle. As Joffrey looks at a book with all the accomplishments of the Kings Guard and he only see a little bit for Jaime and this destroys him inside. I really hope Jaime kills Joffrey with his good hand.

We see a new character Oberyn Martell, who gets invited to Kings Landing by Joffrey to create a new alliance. I really like Prince Oberyn because he doesn’t care for any Lannisters as he gets annoyed at a brothel when two men sing the Lannister song and attacks one of them. Tyrion saves the men from being slaughtered by the Prince and talk business. Oberyn tells Tyrion why he hates the Lannisters and why he should not be trifle with.

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Prince Oberyn is not the only thing he is has to deal with in Kings Landing. He has to deal with his new wife, Sansa Stark not eating because she is still morning the death of he family.

I still think Tyrion is the best character on the show as he tries to comfort Sansa telling her that he liked his brother and respected her mother, even though she tired to execute him. Hilarious.

What is not hilarious is that Tyrion can’t get any nookie from his hot girlfriend Shae because it is a dangerous time in the Kingdom and Tyrion does not want Shae to be in danger but the walls in the kingdom have too many eyes and ears for any truths to get by.

Daenerys on the other hand, looks like she is in control of her own destiny until she tries to stop a fight between her dragons. Jorah tells the Queen,

“Dragons can be never tamed even by their mother.”

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Fore sighting, maybe. But those fucking dragons are getting bigger!

Mhysa is heading to the mother of all slave cities as her troops get to see in every mile marker, a slave girl being crucified. I got a feeling the Queen of Dragons is not going to be happy when she gets to the city.

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Mean time we see Ygritte, a woman scorned, preparing her bows for Jon Snow’s heart as the wildings prepare to attack Castle Black. At the same time, Jon is on trial for and admits that he broke his vows but also tells them that the wildings are planning to attack them.

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I love this couple and I really hope they get back together.

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Just kidding!!! I want them to fight it out and then have hot sex on the battlefield! (You want to see it)

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Personally, the best part of the show is Arya Stark and The Hound in the forest trying to figure out their next move. Arya wants to know why The Hound just lets her go but The Hound knows that Arya is still valuable to him. Arya is still angry that her family got murdered and demands her own horse. It seems to me when Arya wants something, she usually gets want she wants or people die. Which we see in the following scene we the dynamic duo enters a tavern with the Kings men. Arya notices that one of the men killed one of her friends. One of the men also notices The Hound and approaches him with ale to show him respect. The man wants to know why The Hound is here and The Hound wants the man to get him more ale and chickens.

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The Hound is another character in which when he demands something, he usually gets it or people die. He do not get is ale or chicken, so you imagine what happened next. The Hound beats everyone down and we see Arya standing over one of the men who killed her friend with her own sword. She tells him verbatim what he told his friend before killing him. She calmly thrusts her own sword into the man. She finally looked happy for once and she finally got her horse.

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Once again I am super glad the Game of Thrones is back on television. I have not read the books so I don’t know what is about to happen in future episodes and almost all of the reviews I shall be totally drunk. Please share and talk shit if you want to because I won’t remember any of this.

Ask the Jerks: Step up Your Game! Part One

I’m at the Grove stalking and hunting celebrities, when I noticed this fine ass, light skinned girl walk pass me. She reminded me of Hilary Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Definitely a super model or at least a video vixen.  I’m feeling good. I got my swag on. I roll up on her and tell her she is looking fantastic today.

No response.

I tell her my name and smile at her.

No response.

I ask her if anyone told her that she looked like Hilary Banks from-

No response.

I’m thinking she is really playing hard to get.

I ask her if she wanted to grab a drink and before I tried to ask her name she interrupts me.

This is what she tells me.

“Stop.  Just stop. I know what you are doing and it’s not working.”

She looks at me up and down. Sizing me up.

“Sweetie. You are not on my level. What’s the deal with the beard and the backwards hat.”

I try to tuck my beard in my hat.

“You need to step up your game.”

Then her fine, light-skinned ass walks away from me with my mouth wide open without a rebuttal.

I stood there in the middle of one of the busiest malls in the America, perplexed and destroyed. Maybe because everything she was saying was the truth. And the truth hurts.

Of course, I’ve been crushed by other women before, but this one had her heel prints of her Christian Louboutins all over my chest.

Questions started to swirl around my little Asian brain.

Do I need to work on my game?

Maybe, I need to work on my appearance?

Do I need to step up my game?

And what did she mean by I wasn’t on her level?

These questions need to be answered before the next homicide of my heart.