Unicorn Frappuccino – Will you try it?

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The Foods Around Me

Probably the worst tasting Starbucks drink ever to be created. Literally tastes like a unicorn went to chipotle and shit in a cup.

Unicorn Frappucino:

An instant star of social media platforms, it’s literally on all of them check. Starbucks released this limited time drink in all stores this week. Being completely different than all other drink releases the description on the drink is absolutely terrible.

The Starbucks description reads:

“The flavor-changing, color-changing, totally-not-made-up Unicorn Frappuccino. Magical flavors start off sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour. Swirl it to reveal a color-changing spectacle of purple and pink. It’s finished with whipped cream sprinkled pink and blue fairy powders.”

How it should be described:

This drink misses its mark on all levels. The sweetness completely overpowers the flavors of the drink. Its sourness is a blue raspberry that takes away from the mango syrup. The consistency doesn’t help the uniqueness in flavor. It has a…

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Women Crush Wednesday (Throwback) – Lindsay Lohan “Smoke Break” by Ryan Fu

It was another hectic car chase with Lindsay today following her from her mandatory community service at the Red Cross. I always thought chasing someone on the streets was already crazy but successful following someone on the freeway took skills and balls. Especially when Lindsay was behind the wheel pretending it was the Indy 500 trying to get away from us. She wanted to stay out of the public eye because of the recent bad press about her rock star lifestyle. Of course, the media blew it out proportion calling her a troubled lost young adult, not resembling her younger former self. In any case, she didn’t give up all day long which seemed like she wasn’t going to give it up without a fight. 

We were determined to get a shot of her because everyone wanted to know what she was up to and everyone loves a fall from grace story. We carefully navigate our cars in and out of traffic, amazingly not causing any traffic accidents. She thankfully gets off the freeway heading towards Hollywood. We all prepare ourselves for her landing, telling my partner in the other car to get ready. She drives into a residential neighborhood, finally stopping at her assistant’s house. 

We quickly park our rides right in the middle of street blocking incoming traffic. We try to shoot her as soon as she gets out of her car but she puts her jacket over her head running towards the house as we try to get any kind of angle of her face but failing miserably. We then make the cardinal sin by getting on her property but I noticed what we were going and I stopped myself but unfortunately it didn’t stop the others from trying to take pictures of her. Looking at other paps not give a fuck about her private space as they walk all over the assistants Rose garden, shooting her right on her doorstep as she walks in to get away from the savages. 

Most of the paps decide to leave because they all felt like she wasn’t going out anymore because we acted like such animals towards her on the way in. My partner and I were the only ones to stay behind because we didn’t great shots of her going in. We quietly stayed inside of our cars hoping that she would step out again trying to get something for all our hard work today. An hour passes by as I start becoming claustrophobic inside of my own car.

I had to step outside, lighting up a fag. My partner had the same brilliant idea joining me outside as we smoked right in front of Lindsay’s house. As we were trying to relax we hear a faint call in the distance. It was Lindsay asking for a match.

We turn around looking at Lindsay walk towards us as we both don’t react to what was happening. She casually walks up towards us asking for a light again as my partner finally gives her a lighter. There was a bit of awkward silence for a couple of minutes as you would imagine as we both look at Lilo both of us thinking, why the hell we are not shooting the shit out her. She breaks the uncomfortable silence by talking about the weather as we respond with one word answers still in shock to what was going on. We were in the Twilight Show where she was a normal person and we weren’t scumbag paparazzis trying to get a photo.

We were just normal people sharing a metaphorical fire together using the bond of lung cancer. Looking at her carefully smoking her cigarette, she didn’t look like a troubled or lost person. She looked like any another young woman trying to get her shit together but with the add pressure of media. If we were in her shoes we wouldn’t probably handle it as well as she did. She finished her last puff saying it was great talking to us even though we only said a couple of words. It was nice to see we could be normal people if only for a couple of minutes. 

She walked back into her house as we walk back into our cars thinking about how amazing that interaction was between us and Lindsay. A couple of minutes later she came out with her assistant as we start shooting her again, walking towards her car pretending that we didn’t have an incredible bond we made just minutes ago.

But this is what it is, a symbiotic relationship between the hunted and the hunters, but always knowing we were all the same.

Just a bunch of people trying to make sense of this crazy ass world we are living in which all of us trying are best and hopefully we can stop cutting each other down, but let’s face it.

Haters are going to hate. It’s easy to say shit while you’re looking up from the bottom. I say “fuck em,” give them a reason to hate and just do you. Remember not everyone liked Jesus, but it didn’t stop him from being legendary.

RYAN FU

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Poetry Mondays – Cat’s Tongue by Ryan Fu

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man-at-oceansea

I stand across from you


in our tiny studio apartment

letting the silence fill up the space

as I wonder what happened to us.

We used to be inseparable,

but now we’re ghost, haunting each other

waiting on faith like Jack and Rose

onboard the Titanic.

I wonder if one our cats could talk,

what they would say?


They probably would say what we were

too scared to say.

That this is over.

There’s no going back.

You can’t put a Band Aid


in a gaping hole. 

So, I stand across from you


in our tiny studio apartment.

Between us an ocean of unhappiness


waiting for a life raft.

RYAN FU

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Cat’s Tongue by Ryan Fu

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man-at-oceansea

I stand across from you


in our tiny studio apartment

letting the silence fill up the space

as I wonder what happened to us.

We used to be inseparable,

but now we’re ghost, haunting each other

waiting on faith like Jack and Rose

onboard the Titanic.

I wonder if one our cats could talk,

what they would say?


They probably would say what we were

too scared to say.

That this is over.

There’s no going back.

You can’t put a Band Aid


in a gaping hole. 

So, I stand across from you


in our tiny studio apartment.

Between us an ocean of unhappiness


waiting for a life raft.

RYAN FU

Unknown

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The King & I by Ryan Fu (RIP Michael Jackson)

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Be Like Water

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Driving around in L.A. I haven’t got anything good for the last couple of weeks wondering if I lost my touch. Then a call comes in and I know it’s a tip for a celebrity but this one was different. It was a tip for the Michael Jackson. I loose my shit and put the metal to the pedal, running through red lights definitely breaking a couple of traffic laws. I had to drive like a maniac because this wasn’t a regular celebrity I was about to shoot. This was King of Pop.

The media hasn’t seen him since his last court tribulations, so I wondered how this is going to turn out. I never thought I would shoot an icon like Michael but you get to do and meet interesting people when you do this profession. And yes, it is a profession. Even though a lot people would say…

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Frosted Balls by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

Be Like Water

Powdered-Donuts-Closeup

It was over 100 degrees again today in Los Angeles, where the mere the thought of going outside caused you to sweat. It was so hot that it was inhumane to even work outside. So, Chuck and I decided to chill out at a friends pad to get out of the heat. 

“I love these low-calorie health bars,” Chuck says to me while unwrapping another energy bar.

“How many of those have you had?” Playing Call of Duty with my headset on. “BigDick90 I need you to secure the package, also watch out for snipers.”

“I’ve had like four, I’m going to lose weight in no time,” finishing another one.

“BigDaddy, I need you to throw a grenade in the building to clear out our path. BigDick watch our back while we go in.”

“I’m going to look great in my neon thong,” as Charles check outs his figure in…

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Unicorn by Ryan Fu (RIP Prince)

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I was totally over it.

Standing in front of Kitson with the rest of the assholes waiting for Kim with her sisters to come out of the store so we could shoot them for the thousandth time this week. I was starting to hate the job, shooting basically the same people over and over again, feeling a bit burnt from the job. I needed to change it up or do something else because starting to lose my taste for the job. Kim along with her sisters come out of the store to the waiting flashes of photogs as we shoot her once again. I was starting to lose my mind, I needed a frappuccino to calm my nerves down. 

After the gangbang I decided to go to Starbucks at the Farmer’s Market near the Grove. I park my whip walking inside the market feeling a bit depressed about my current position in life. That’s when it happened, the event that sparked my interest once again for the job.

I spotted the myth, the legend, the artists that was formerly called Prince at the fruit section of the Farmer’s Market.

I know what you’re thinking no fucking way, but there he was looking at cantaloupes in his matching white bell bottom pants with a silk shirt and a Liberace ruffled jacket looking, so fresh and clean that dust didn’t want to touch him. His hair was also on point looking luxurious as always as he seemingly looked like he woke up like that because I couldn’t imagine Prince having bed head when he gets up in the morning. I don’t even think he needs sleep like the rest of us because he wasn’t human. He was something more, he was too special to be from this Earth.

But he was trying so hard to look normal that it looked strange as fuck. I’m guessing he was tired of being treated like an alien from a different planet. Like all super famous people they occasionally wanted to be treated like normal people even though they were very far from it with their extra ordinary talents. They wanted to do normal things without the prying eyes of the media chronicling and filming their every move.

But here we were the Prince and I, on very different sides of the entertainment field. My hand on my “Soul Catcher” about to capture this magical moment between us but I couldn’t pull the trigger, not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t want to. 

As he finally notices me about to shoot him as he stands perfectly still like beautiful unicorn in the magical forest waiting for me to do something, which was nothing.

I remember someone once said, “beautiful things don’t ask for attention.” 

We stand there not as cat and mouse but as equals. I didn’t want to capture this moment between Prince and I because wanted to be in the moment not wanting to share it with anyone. We stay in those precious moments for a couple more seconds then he disappears into the mundane leaving me baffled but amazed at the same time wondering what the fuck just happened. That was the first and last time I saw Prince but the desire for this job was back.

A part of me wanted to travel back time, not to tell myself to shoot it but to experience it again all over and maybe have the courage to act normal. To not stare at him like he was a freak but as a normal dude, doing normal ass things. Regardless of what I wanted to happen, I was still happy that it did happen because I needed to experience something different.

I needed to remember how to act like a normal human being again. As once again I had the fire in my belly to be a paparazzi again but more over I wanted to be inspired as I continue on this magical adventure called life trying to find another unicorn.


Prince Kicks Kim Kardashian Off Stage


Not long after that, a friend took me to see Prince at the famous Forum in Los Angeles, when he had a residency there for a couple of weeks. I knew that he was a talented musician but I wasn’t a true fan of his not until I witnessed what I saw that night. From beginning to end, Prince blew my mind along with everyone else in the building. This man played every instrument imaginable and never missed a beat as the huge crowd stood up longer than I’ve ever seen in a concert giving him a standing ovation, which was well-deserved because we were not seeing a concert, we were witnessing history. RIP Prince, you will be missed.

RYAN FU

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Happy National Goof Off Day!!! – What do you like to do to relax or what do you do for fun?

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National Goof Off Day is observed annually on March 22.  Our research indicates that this day is also known as International Goof Off Day.  It is a day to relax, enjoy and goof off.  Do something fun and leave the work until tomorrow.  Everybody needs to take a break from time to time.  It is often so easy to get so involved in the work and pressures in our lives.  So stop, take a break, find something that you really enjoy doing and do it!

Ferris Bueller’s Twist And Shout Scene

The New Barbie Makeover – Mattel releases three new body types: petite, tall, and curvy – What are your thoughts of the new dolls?

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The new Barbie comes in three new body types: petite, tall, and curvy – landing her a spot on the cover of Time Magazine with the headline, “Now can we stop talking about my body?”

The top-secret development of new dolls was dubbed Project Dawn and they even have a customer support line prepared to field calls about original Barbie’s clothes not fitting on curvy Barbie.

Barbie now comes in four different body shapes, seven different skin tones and 18 different hairstyles. Watch out human Barbies, y’all are about to get some serious competition. 

What are your thoughts of the new dolls?

COACHELLA 2016!!! – What are your thoughts? Who’s your favorite band?

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