Written By Ryan Fu @fu_beatz
Forgive me for the baseball analogy but with MLB’s All-Star game and the ESPYs going on, I can’t help but reference, an epic fail on the part of a character on tonight’s episode. We will save that awkward moment in the end of this review because it holds a special place for me in my twisted heart. Right now I want to talk about how this show is getting worse and going much more slower than watching two non-offensive baseball teams go at it. The only “Saving Grace” for this show is the deliciously, dark and twisted Franka Potente playing Eleanor, the psycho female version of Mister Rogers.
Let’s get into the less exciting part of the episode, which of course I would be talking about Diane Kruger’s character Sonya. They get a lead at a taxidermist, which they find a dead body and a stuffed dog. Watching Sonya looking at the flesh-eating beetles, I wondered if it would have been more exciting just watching the beetles for the rest of the show. Apparently, the stuffed dog along with the body was connected to the FBI, which agents show up telling Sonya and her Chief that this is their case but they are willing to share. But really the FBI has ulterior motives because they want all the credit for breaking the case. Also, the Chief feels like Sonya’s new BF has ulterior motives as he tells Jack Dobbs to stay away from Sonya.
Marco is not having a better time at work as well as his buddies at work play a joke on him, which was not funny to Marco as he beats the cop, who played the prank on him at the police station. He gets more bad news as he is assigned to a new case coming from the orders of the cartel. The good news is he’ll be working with Sonya again, which I believe they are much more of entertaining as a duo then a apart because Marco is just a mess by himself and Sonya is simply not watchable. But I could watch Franka Potente play Eleanor all day along because she is so damn captivating as female villain.
The episode opens up with Eleanor half naked asking for help from young boys, which one of them decides to leave but one decides to help the heavily tattooed Eleanor. The young boy, Kyle, wants to call the cops but Eleanor grabs him telling him if he’s seen “Grace” and the lights. Kyle is totally confused until Eleanor grabbed his “Sandlot” telling Kyle if he wants him to touch her breasts he has to help her. Let’s keep it real, if I was Kyle I would have totally help Eleanor which he does bringing her to his house. He feeds her and give her clothes but Eleanor doesn’t like the choice of outfit that Kyle brought telling Kyle,
“I don’t wear pink. I don’t look good in pink. Pink are for whores and little girls who are trying to be princesses.”
Do you see why I like her? She is not afraid or maybe she’s not capable of doing or saying the right thing in front of normal people but she’s the best part of the show right now. Kyle is determined to drink her “Milkshake” so he drives her to her storage place. While inside the dark storage place with plastic on the floor, Kyle asks why Eleanor has so many tattoos, as she responds to his question,
“Marks for all the demons I’ve known”
She unzips her top and shows her goodies to Kyle, which he finally gets what he wants but it leads to his death. I remember the first time I got to second base with a girl; it was with my next-door neighbor Janet. I wanted it bad, so when the opportunity came I literally jumped on it but her parents caught me in the act which in turn got me in trouble with my parents and I caught a horrible beating from my dad from it but all I was thinking about was Janet’s glorious boobs.
Tonight’s episode was marginally better than season opener but not by much. Hopefully with Marco getting back together with Sonya it will be more exciting. There needs to be more scenes with Eleanor because you never know what she’s going to do next and that’s exciting!
– God I hate Diane/Sonya’s faded snakeskin leather jacket! It just looks so dirty.
– At least Marco is getting laid unfortunately he’s still not into practical jokes
– The Scooby-Doo reporter with Velma is still the weakest part of the show.
– I think taxidermists get a bad rep; they all can’t look like they’re the bad guys in a James Bond movie.
– I can see Sonya as an interior designer.
– What was the deal with FBI agent and his thing for the miniature mythical creatures? I’m Shrek fan myself.
– Eleanor has no kitchen etiquette, drinking straight out of carton of milk, although a girl has to get her Vitamin D…emons.
– The next time you enter a dark place with the floors covered in plastic remember to get out of there fast because nothing good is going to happen.
– I totally want to see Eleanor in a Pink outfit now maybe even in a pink princess dress with tiara and a Sailor Moon wand just covered in blood.
Check out our other articles about The Bridge:
Help Me (This show does need help)