What if there was a place that you could safely crash and burn or explore a lost world without it actually creating consequential ripples in your real life?
There is. It’s called a journal.
Now, hang with me on this. You DON’T have to be a writer to journal! I’ve always identified myself as a writer to my very core, but there are days (sometimes weeks and even months) I don’t want to write beautifully-crafted, thought-provoking, perfectly-formatted prose.
There are many craggy mornings when, coffee in one hand and a grading “red” pen in the other, all I can do is jot down a word or phrase. Many, many of my days are spent creating lists: those strangely personalized columns of thoughts, to-dos, groceries, and lesson plans that appear on the ends of envelopes and Post-its. Some of my lists have bullets and are color-coded if I’m feeding my inner-artist…
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Make a commitment to yourself
Make a commitment to myself,
To spend so much time improving myself and my life that I have no time for worry, judgement, criticism, whining and complaining;
To forgive, release and let go of my attachment to any past struggles and allow every challenge life sends my way to make me better not bitter.
Starting now, I make a commitment to let go of what’s behind me and start appreciating what’s in front of me;
To let go of all the pointless drama, all the toxic relationships, thoughts and behaviors that are present in my life and to constantly shift my focus from the bad on to the good;
Once you truly commit to rebuilding your life and making it ridiculously amazing, nothing and no one will be able to stand in your way.
Forgive, release and let go of past hurts and resentments
Fill your heart with love. Forgive, release and let go. Not necessary because those who mistreated you deserve it, but because you do. Let forgiveness liberate you from your past. Allow it to take away all the resentment you kept in heart for all this time and allow yourself to fill in that empty space with love, inner peace and compassion.
If others mistreated you in the past it doesn’t mean you have to continue their work. Look how beautifulMark Twain talks about this: “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Embrace with grace all that you face
Shift your focus from the bad on to the good, from the pain on to the gain, from resentment on to the forgiveness, gratitude and appreciation. Learn to embrace with grace all that you face.
Appreciate everything life sends your way, whether good or bad and know that “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie
Visualize your achievements and create your destiny
Ask yourself the same question I asked myself a few years ago when I decided to let go of my attachment to my past and begin rebuild my whole life: “If there were no limits to what I can do, be and have, how would my life look like?”
Let your imagination run wild. Dare to dream big. Don’t settle for less than you are worth.
The richer your imagination, the more beautiful your life will be.
“The power of imagination is incredible. Often we see athletes achieving unbelievable results and wonder how they did it. One of the tools they use is visualization or mental imagery… they made the choice to create their destinies and visualized their achievements before they ultimately succeeded.” ~ George Kohlrieser
See in your mind’s eye the life you would love to live, the person you would love to become and the relationships you would want to have. Live your life from the end and act as if all of the things you need and desire are already present in your life. Feel the feelings that come from having all those wonderful things happen to you and allow those feelings to be with you at all times.
Dreams won’t work unless you do
Act upon your heart’s desire. Do the things you need to do in order to get where you want to get. Read the books you need to read, contact the people you need to contact, build the skills you need to build.
Find a mentor. Dare to ask questions. Do whatever it takes to move yourself closer to making your dreams come true.
Trust that with every step you take, your life situation will improve and you will become even more happier than you already are.
Take one step at a time
Because of the many years of past conditioning and the intense training you have in holding on to toxic thoughts, behaviors and unhealthy relationships, giving up on all that is toxic in your life won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight. Chances are that you won’t see major improvements in your life immediately, and that’s okay. Be patient and gentle with yourself while working on rebuilding your life and remember to enjoy the journey.
“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” ~ Greg Anderson
Take one step at a time and keep in mind that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.
Develop a deep trust in life
You have to have faith. You have to have trust… Trust in yourself, trust in the people you interact with and trust in life.
Put your fears aside. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Develop a deep trust in the wisdom of life. “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” ~ Matthew 17:20
Give yourself permission to “fail”
Give yourself permission to “fail” and make “mistakes”.
Trust me when I tell you that in every “mistake” there is a lesson to learn, lesson that will be very beneficial to you as you continue walking on your life’s chosen path.
“There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.” ~ Richard Bach
Be good to yourself
Love yourself and be good to yourself because if you do, the world around you will start mirroring your behavior. Take good care of your mind, body, heart and soul. Exercise, drink plenty of water, eat healthy and delicious food.
Nurture good thoughts. Act in compassionate and loving ways, towards yourself and the world around you. Spend time alone, spending at least 5 to 10 minutes per day in silence would make you help make you feel refreshed, rejuvenated and renewed.
Go outside. Spend some time in nature. Look at the plants, the sky, the stars, the moon and the trees. Celebrate the miracle of life.
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~ Albert Einstein
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.
Credit: Purpose Fairy
My husband and I along with some family members went on a weekend trip to attend a wedding, and we crossed several bridges, some that crossed big rivers like the Mississippi, and some small streams. Since I have started a novel with a river symbol, I have been snapping photos of rivers and thinking about rivers.
There is just something about a body of water. A small creek runs across the property where I was raised, and as a child, I spent much time playing there. With no houses along the creek, the water was clear and unpolluted and my family and I thought nothing of getting a drink from it. I’ve always heard that a stream purifies itself when it runs a specified number of feet over rocks and sand. I don’t know if that is true, but now with so many pollutants entering the stream from homes that…
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Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieve it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
DT’s father was going blind when DT wrote this poem. The dying of the light is a reference to darkness and being blind.
THE HATED ONES
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FULL OF BOLOGNA HOT DISH
Cook Time: 30 min
Total Time: 50 min
- 1 ring Nueske Bologna, diced
- 4 medium potatoes, sliced or diced
- 1 can cream of celery soup
- 2 Tbsp. onion, chopped
- 2 Tbsp. green pepper, chopped (optional)
Mix all the ingredients together and place in casserole dish. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Top with cheese and return to oven to melt cheese, about 5 minutes. Serve hot.
“I’m an open book”, said the naive person.
I’M AN OPEN BOOK! Some even brag about it like it’s a badge of honor. I learned the hard way how naive a statement that is.
I remember one time I was out with friends and one of them said how they admired that I was the type of person that was the first to try new things or to do something new instead of just following what others think or did. Another friend laughed, “yea, Jim is the dumb one that does it first and finds out all the mistakes so the rest of us don’t have to go through it”. They both were probably right.
I remember going online years ago as a kid. I was in wonder over the internet. I put in an AOL disk that I got in the mail. At 14.8, the speed at that time seemed so fast. The internet really didn’t have that many websites but I was amazed. Over time I started using things like Yahoo, EBAY and Paypal.
I have always wanted to think that everyone has good in them. In reality our culture has changed and not for the better. Morals and character are harder to find and the evil that we see in the news is pretty scary. Are all people bad? Of course not; but ask the thousands that get bullied online every day how things have changed.
(one billion people lose their identity in Yahoo security breach)
How Social Media & The Internet Has Changed Our Communication:
The internet and social media is fun and has a lot of great rewards, but it also has a downfall. It has made many people dysfunctional communicators. Some people in business and in personal relationships are like Hemmingway in emails, texts and chats. Get them in person and their personality is that of a napping frog and their communication skills are as good as one of the Teletubbies. Look at people on dates; many don’t even talk to their partner. They are texting others, looking at videos or even flirting with other people. Go to a movie theater and try to find people that aren’t texting someone. We have the attention spans of puppies on espresso and as a culture, we seem to use guesses, mind reading skills or jedi mind tricks to communicate with each other instead of just talking directly.
We Are Much More Open to Promote Quicker Communication:
Most Psychology studies shows that it takes a good year to really get to know someone. That’s a lifetime now. Instead of getting to know each other, we use Facebook, Linkedin, and Match.com, or other sites to almost “instantly” learn about someone. The problem is it’s shallow, lazy and dysfunctional at times. It takes time to get to know people whether we are finishing each others sentences or not. I’ve seen people move in with others after days of meeting someone on a dating site or they go into business with someone they barely know after meeting online. It’s sheer madness. We want it and we want it now. The problem is you have to build a foundation be it business or in your personal relationships, and it’s more than a profile or mouse click away. Affiliate marketing is a huge part of internet business and in reality you are joining an unknown business run by people you don’t know. It has a 95% fail rate for a reason.
I’ve lost my identity twice and I once was used in a scam. Between scammers and EBAY itself, it’s hard to tell the good guys from the bad. Once two German hackers got into my EBAY account and started to put up fake adds selling high end Apple products and ended up stealing about $30,000 from people having bidders send them money by western union.
The Dangers of Being An Open Book With Online Dating:
I remember being an open book on Facebook the last 5 years especially in the dating scene when I became single. After a while people would show up uninvited to my house and work. I had one girl that I chatted with a couple of times do a search on me and found my business. We had coffee once and I knew she was not the person for me plus she looked too young. One day I came into my office to see patients in the afternoon and my secretary said, “you’re girlfriend is here”. Well that was strange because at the time I didn’t have one. I walked in and this cute young girl who couldn’t have been 22 was there. I asked her what was going on. I talked to her long enough to make sure she didn’t have an ax or Lizzie Borden tattoo, but I still wasn’t comfortable. I eventually got rid of her.
One night when I was coming home from work, a man was sitting on my porch. It ended up being a patient; kind of a borderline mentally ill patient that was a pretty scary guy. He found my information from LinkedIn and Facebook and did a search on me and found my home address. It was 11:30 pm and he asked if we could talk and if he could come in. I actually saw my neighbor looking at him and I talked him into leaving and that if he was having issues that he should go to the ER. I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed just in case.
I write online at times for political sites and I was Mr. Open Book then too. Unfortunately I said something some people didn’t like and I started getting death threats. Someone emailed me a photo of my front yard saying he was watching me. I called the police but I was paranoid whenever anyone came by.
The worst situation I had was a girl I met online and we started to talk. She lived near me and asked to meet. We met a couple of times and would text and talk on the phone sometimes but just friends stuff. There was just something not right with her and my spidey sense was tingling. I told her that we should be online friends and that maybe one of these days we could get together again but that I was really busy at work. I’m not a sleazy person and I don’t sleep around like a lot of people do so I just felt uncomfortable with being that close.
Some pretty girls rarely if ever hear the word no from a guy and she didn’t take it well. She went crazy. She started freaking out telling me who did I think I was and that she could get guys 100 times better than I was. She then said I was messing with her and that no one messed with her and got away with it. I’ve always tried dating the sweet, girl next door types so the psycho high maintenance I’m going to kill you while you sleep type of girls were never my thing.
At about 12:30 am I began to get texts. Now I have a lot of friends that text me at that time because they are night owls and usually bored; but this was different. It was a girl asking to meet and have sex. She then began to talk about things that we can do that I’m not quite sure are physically possible; I mean I looked it up and I don’t think those parts go together or can bend that way but I still could be wrong. Anyways, I texted her back saying she had the wrong guy and told her to stop texting me. I found out that angry woman had put an ad with all of my information and photo on a sex add on Craigslist. Craigslist actually told me to call the police. I warned her and she took the ad down. Instead of taking my time and being careful, I was an open book with all of my personal information on Facebook and LinkedIn and I let my walls down.
(Yahoo scans emails to give to the government)
Protect Your Photos:
You want to talk about open books, just go on Twitter or instagram. People put up naked or sexual photos literally potentially ruining their reputation. I knew a nurse once who got fired and many felt the reason was her Facebook photos that were extremely sexual.
It just blows me away how people can send near strangers naked photos of themselves and even videos. It’s both dumb and risky at the same time and lacks class. I know many are insecure these days needing lots of attention but man. Once something is on the internet it is there forever! Photos are easily stolen and I found out the hard way how people can use them to try and embarrass you or make you look bad.
Take Back Your Privacy:
I realized then that between big business pimping out our web surfing habits, locations, purchasing habits, and all of our social media information, I was not going to be used or exposed. Now Samsung admits to recording us through some of their tv’s and appliances are the next to hook us up online. Unfortunately there is only so much we can do to protect our information, but I’m determined to keep my accounts as private as possible.
I finally said “enough”. I had written for many publications online but I started over. I got a pen name and I stopped posting up family photos and giving personal information. I closed all of my social media sites and started over. I told my 3000 Facebook followers that I was moving on and that it had gotten too weird for me. Magically all of the drama ended shortly after.
A New Lease on MY Online Life:
I started to write again and it felt good to not be weighed down by internet drama. I’ve now restarted and I’ve been much less open online. The drama is mostly gone. Even though I have over 40k followers on my two Twitter accounts, I keep people at a distance. I now don’t have to deal with the nonsense. I don’t put my real birthday online, or my address or my name, and I’ve slowly created safe, fun and healthy online relationships with some turning into friendships. I’ve used Google voice for contact phone numbers and I feel much safer.
Social media and technology has entrenched a high level of trust in the latest generations and I worry about them. Corporations have slowly eroded their sense of privacy and their respect for it. I think some would put blood sample results online if they were asked to; they are open books and trust everyone. They don’t have any money now but when they get older and start making money, taking their identities will be like taking candy from a baby because they are so trusting. It’s even a risk with our money. When I met with my banker once he spoke under his breath and told me not to use the banking application because in reality financial apps in his opinion were not safe.
Linked in is the worst. Why in the world would I tell about myself and my business to people that are competitors so they could know what I am doing and what I’m working on. I was taught to keep things under wraps.
It used to drive one of my ex girlfriends insane when every where we went; or even if I was online; people would tell me their life stories. I’ve talked to people at times who will tell me their most innermost secrets and I barely know them. Maybe in a way people are just lonely and with all of the dysfunctional communications, they just need a human being to actually talk to in person.
The Moral of The Story:
People can do what they want but I think people need to wake up and not be open books. For our jobs some of us are forced to be as open as possible but on our personal accounts it’s our choice. The world isn’t as safe a place anymore and people need to be much more careful. You shouldn’t be a fearful hermit, but you also shouldn’t be Shirley Temple. It takes one identity theft, one bad thing said online, or one picture to ruin a reputation and cause years of headaches. Sorry Steve Zuckerberg, Apple and Google; I’m not trusting you any more. Learn from my mistakes; I always make them before everyone else does.
Check out other great articles from Jim Jax
- Nuts and seeds are rich in energy and nutrients. Nuts nutrition loaded with excellent source of monounsaturated-fatty acids (MUF) such as oleic and palmitoleic acids, which help to lower LDL or “bad cholesterol” and increase HDL or “good cholesterol.” Research studies suggest that Mediterranean diet that is rich in MUF to prevent coronary artery disease, strokes by favoring healthy blood lipid profile.
- They are rich source of all important omega-3 essential fatty acids like Linoleic acid, a-Linolenic acid (ALA), Eicosapentaenoic acid, Docosahexonic acid Research studies have suggested that n-3 or ?-3 fats by their virtue of anti-inflammatory action help to lower the risk of blood pressure, coronary artery disease, strokes and breast, colon and prostate cancers. Omega-3 fatty acids also offer some benefits in conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis and in cases of Schizophrenia, depression and Alzheimer’s disease.
- Nuts and seeds are the storehouse of health benefiting poly-phenolic flavonoid antioxidants such as carotenes, resveratrol, lutein, cryptoxanthin, etc. These compounds have been found to offer protection against cancers, heart disease, degenerative nerve disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and viral/fungal infections. Studies suggests that resveratrol in peanuts reduces stroke risk by alterating molecular mechanisms in the blood vessels, reducing their susceptibility to vascular damage through decreased activity of angiotensin (a systemic hormone causing blood vessel constriction that would elevate blood pressure) and increased production of the vasodilator hormone, nitric oxide.
- Nuts nutrition is complete in the sense that in addition to calories, and vitamins, they are rich source of minerals like manganese, potassium, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc, fluoride and selenium. Manganeseis a co-factor for the enzyme superoxide dismutase, which is a very powerful free radical scavenger. Potassium is an important component of cell and body fluids that helps controlling heart rate and blood pressure. Copper is required for the production of red blood cells. Iron is required for red blood cell formation. Fluoride is a component of bones and teeth and plays important role in prevention of dental caries.
- They contain very good levels of vitamin-E, a powerful lipid soluble antioxidant. Vitamin E is required for maintaining the integrity of cell membrane of mucus membranes and skin; thus, protecting it from harmful oxygen-free radicals.
- Nuts nutrition provides many vital B-complex groups of vitamins such as riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, pantothenic acid, vitamin B-6, and folates. These vitamins are essential for optimum health and well-being.
Two handfuls of cashews is the therapeutic equivalent of a prescription dose of Prozac. Inside you, the essential amino acid L-tryptophan is broken down into anxiety-reducing, snooze-inducing niacin. Even more important, tryptophan is also made into serotonin, one of your body’s most important neurotransmitters.
Serotonin gives a feeling of well-being and mellowness, or as the Australians would say, “no worries.” This is such a profound effect that Prozac, Paxil and similar antidepressants usually either mimic serotonin or artificially keep the body’s own serotonin levels high. You can do the same thing with your food. And no one can tell us that beans, peas, cheese, nuts and wheat germ are toxic if you eat a lot of them!
Plenty of carbohydrates (starches) in your meals help tryptophan get to where it does the most good: in your brain. In order to cross the blood-brain barrier to get in, carbos are required. So cheese and crackers provides a better effect than the cheese standing alone. An egg or two on toast is better than just the egg. Beans, peas, and nuts already contain carbohydrate, so you are all set there.
Credit: Nutrition and You