Game of Thrones – The Watchers of the Wall (The Girl Kissed by Fire)

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Written By Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

Listen I served time in the military, so I know about commitment and duty which I believe I would have been an excellent Man of the Night’s Watch with the exception of not having sex because I’ll jump on anything with a heartbeat. I know that it’s hard to be a solider but it’s even harder to be a leader because you have other men depending on you because their lives are on the line. I have admit I never thought of myself as a hero or would do anything heroic but once you’re in the fray you find things about yourself that you have never thought you would do, which in some cases you either runaway from danger or you run towards it. Tough men become children while children become men. Surprisingly, I was the type that was looking for a fight. With that being said I never had to go to war with my girlfriend, literally.

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The episode opens up with Jon Snow and Sam having a Sex and the City moment talking about love, sex and makeup. Meanwhile the girl kissed by fire, Ygritte is sharpening her arrows for the hearts of Crows especially for one Crow. Some of the wildings think Ygritte doesn’t have the balls to kill her former lover but Ygritte tells everyone if you want to get hit by the train, then get on the train tracks as she pounds her chest and stomps her feet like Lebron James. Fuck I love her.

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Before the fight Sam makes a promise to his “not” baby mama that he will protect her and come back to her. Personally, I think Sam can do better because I think that wilding chicks is kinda needy, she’s always like, “oh, my baby. My poor baby,” in my annoying English voice.

The fighting starts with the Men of the Knights looking like they are not ready to fight while the Wildings are ready to fuck some one up. It was pretty cool to see huge giants and woolly mammoths in a fight. The whole time I was looking at the giants, I kept thinking about Harry and the Hendersons.

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The wildings brake through the first wall and true combat begins. We see leaders act like leaders, leaders who can’t lead and leaders that were born to lead. Jon Snow is man like his father, born to lead men into battle. Jon shows off his leadership quality beating back the wildings into the wild but he couldn’t save everyone.

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In the beginning of the battle, Ygritte is like a killing machine acting like Legolas putting arrows into Crows time in and time out. But when the moment comes to kill Jon Snow, she hesitates. Maybe because she wanted to savour the moment of killing Jon or that she couldn’t kill Snow because she still has feelings for him. In war or in a fight when you hesitate that’s when you’re most vulnerable which was the case for Ygritte as she gets an arrow in her back. She collapses in Jon’s arm and tells Jon they should have stayed in that cave. He says they’ll go back there, but she says, “you know nothing, Jon Snow” and dies in his arms.

Once again another great episode, which I still love the way the show has the balls to kill characters in order to move the plot and have a better show but fuck it really sucked watching Ygritte dying tonight. She was my one of my favorite females characters but I was glad to see that she died on her own terms and as a free woman. As a solider or warrior you never have control on how you meet your end but if you could die doing you love or believe in, then it’s a good death. In Bushido, a Japanese word for the way of the samurai life, they believe a “good death” is its own reward. Hopefully, when my time comes, I’ll show my warrior sprint.

There is only one episode left of Game of Thrones, please check out our other articles and we will miss Rose Leslie and Ygritte. R.I.P to the Girl Kissed by Fire.

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Please check out our other G.O.T Articles

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

The Lion & The Rose (Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead)

Breaker of Chains (I do it for the Nookie)

Oathkeeper (King of the white Walkers)

First in his Name (Arya’s Death Pool)

THE LAWS OF GODS AND MEN (DON’T PUSH ME)

Mockingbird (I want a Moon Door!!!) 

The Mountain and The Viper (Trash talking gets you Killed)

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Game of Thrones- The Mountain and The Viper (Trash talking gets you killed)

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Written By Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

First off, I think this is the best season of Game of Thrones by far with the great story lines and the amount of important people dying in each episode. I like a show that is not afraid to kill off important or popular characters because it’s much more important to the success of the whole story. We all know that in some shows when a character gets to popular with the public, the producers are afraid to kill them off because they might get a backlash from it’s fans. Not G.O.T., they don’t give a fuck! It’s all about precision and timing for this well-oiled machine, removing and replacing characters whenever they want in order to achieve a great show. Personally, I fucking love that idea and I wish more shows had the balls to do that more often because it’s all about the bigger picture. If you wanted to see show with no heart or brains, you could have just turned on the Trash-Dashians.

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Before I get to the showdown against the Mountain and the Red Viper, let’s discuss the rest of the episode. The episode begins with the beautiful Ygritte returning to the show, killing a bunch of people, as the Wildings get closer to Castle Black and Jon Snow of course. I cannot wait for these two get back together but I got a real fucked up feeling that this is not going to go down that I want in my head. It’s not going to be a romantic scene like in Cruel Intentions where Reese Witherspoon is riding up the escalator and sees Ryan Phillippe waiting on top of the for passionate embrace. I believe this is going to be a little bloodier.

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Daenerys Targaryen with her assistant discuss if Earthworm Jim pees standing up or not. But Khaleesi’s real concern if she can trust her own council as she gets news that Lord Jorah had betrayed her trust. She banishes him from Meereen and orders him to never come back. Lord Jorah is a man without a country like poor Theon Greyjoy aka Reek. In the episode we see Reek do his master’s bidding as they recapture a piece of the North for that Asshole Roose Bolton. Lord Bolton awards his bastard son with a new title and name, Ramsay Bolton. In the beginning of the season, I thought Theon or whatever you call him now was in such a horrible position but now to think about it, I think this is where Theon should be all along. I mean, he doesn’t have to think, which he just follows orders and never has to make a decision. Every decision he ever made was a mistake, so this way, this new life seems a much better fit for Theon or should I just say Reek from now on.

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Lord Baelish aka Littlefinger gets questioned for the death of Lady Arryn, in which Littlefinger tells the council that she was bat shit crazy and she committed suicide. But the council knows that is only half true and needs the help of Sansa Stark to know the real truth. Sansa comes to the rescue to Lord Baelish and gets his back as she starts to play the game.

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“Lord Baelish has told many lies but he was my only friend and he rescued me.”

I feel there might be a “New Cute Couple Alert” coming from me in the future with this two.

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As one Stark sister gets more comfortable in the role of a highborn, Arya Stark is getting used to the feeling of rejecting. As the dynamic killing duo of the Hound and Arya arrive at the Eyrie expecting to see the Lady of the Vale and end this long journey of theirs, in which they find out that she killed herself three days ago. The Hound puts on his FML face while Arya starts laughing uncontrollable. I really want this duo to meet with the other kick ass duo of Brienne of Tarth and Podrick. I would love to see that tag team death match.

Finally, we see the Lannister brothers get philosophical as Tyrion’s death looms in his mind; they talk about the meaning of life. But of course we never get those answers until we finally see the end of our own lives. Which Prince Oberyn is confident that he will never see his death, which he tells Tyrion he doesn’t need armor or be sober to fight getting ready to fight the heavily armored Gregor Clegane aka The Mountain as he says to Tyrion,

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“Size does not matter when you are flat on your back.” Tyrion responds, “Thank Gods.”

Can you imagine if the UFC was this way? I mean not with weapons because it would be even shorter bouts. I’m talking about if we gave the opportunity for the fighters to drink before the matches. I mean that might have done that back in the old days of the UFC with Tank Abbott but imagine if the fighters had the option to get hammered before they actual hammer someone. It might not turn out to be a good fight, although it would be interesting, but I digress.

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Let’s continue with his championship battle to the death with a regular size man against a Mountain size man for the fate of a half man. Surprisingly, Prince Oberyn is beating the shit of the Mountain with his speed and skills. The whole time he kept talking shit to the Mountain wanting to know who killed his family member. It reminded of the scene in the Princess Bride with Inigo Montoya.

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya…”

The Red Viper is seconds away from killing Clegane when he starts to celebrate too early before he gets into the end zone, which you can see I real, real miss football but I digress. The Mountain seizes his chance, tripping Oberyn to the ground, getting on top of him and kills him Three Stooges style, poking both eyes out. As the Mountain finally gets all the candy from the Red Viper Pinata, he himself dies maybe out of joy but regardless the fate of Tyrion Lannister is sealed as Tywin Lannister tells the kingdom that Tyrion is sentenced to death. You can see Cersei having mini orgasms hearing the verdict while Tyrion had that FML look on his face.


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Once again another great episode but I am sadden to know that there are only two episodes left this season but I’m kinda afraid what’s going to happen next because there are not many characters left on the show. I have not had the opportunity to read the books, so I am just a regular fan just like you, waiting to see what’s going to happen next in the Seven Kingdoms. Please free to check out our other reviews in which most of them I was quite drunk when I wrote them.

Please check out our other G.O.T Articles

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

The Lion & The Rose (Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead)

Breaker of Chains (I do it for the Nookie)

Oathkeeper (King of the white Walkers)

First in his Name (Arya’s Death Pool)

THE LAWS OF GODS AND MEN (DON’T PUSH ME)

Mockingbird (I want a Moon Door!!!) 

 

Game of Thrones – The Laws of Gods and Men (Don’t Push Me)

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Written by Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

Peter Hayden Dinklage is an American actor. Since his breakout role in The Station Agent (2003), he has appeared in films such as Elf (2003), Find Me Guilty (2006), Underdog (2007), the British film Death at a Funeral (2007) and its American remake of the same name (2010), The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008), A Little Bit of Heaven (2011), Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012), and Knights of Badassdom (2013). Since 2011, he has played Tyrion Lannister in the HBO series Game of Thrones, which earned him the Emmy and the Golden Globe Award for Supporting Actor in 2011. Peter is such a fine actor and in this week’s episode he once again shows us why he should get another nomination because he killed it in this episode.

Please check out our other G.O.T Articles

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

The Lion & The Rose (Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead)

Breaker of Chains (I do it for the Nookie)

 

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But before we get to Tyrion’s most epic speech, we should talk about what else happened in the episode. Stannis and Davos go to the Iron Bank of Braavos is a bank in the Free City of Braavos get funding for Stannis army. Naturally, the Iron Bank respectively declines Stannis request because the numbers don’t add up. I thought it was funny that back in the day they still ran your credit. So, his main man Davos had to stick up for the rightful king of the throne and demand that the Iron Bank help Stannis, which they do but I’m just wondering what the interest rate would be to take over a kingdom?

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Theon Greyjoy. Poor, poor Theon. I know I’ve said this in the past but can someone just put him out of his misery. Every episode I watch with a scene of Theon, I think this can’t get any worse, but it does. His bold sister, Yara, in which I might have a crush on only because she seems to be the only Ironborn female in the country (I like them rugged) has the courage to free her brother. But when she gets there, she does not find her brother but a thing that used to be her brother as she leaves without her brother saying to her troops that her brother is dead. Ramsay Snow is so pleased with his pet Theon aka Reek, he gives him a bath and I finds out how much he loves his master by devising a plan to go to Castle Black.

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Speaking of masters, Daenerys Targaryen is looking quite confident in her new role of the Queen of the free slaves. She has shown her mean streak but now she is showing her softer side but giving mercy and comfort to her people. I wonder how long this nicer version of the “Mother of Dragons” is going to last because these dragons are getting bigger!

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Now we can get down to the nitty–gritty of this week’s episode, which was the trial of Tyrion Lannister. His brother Jaime aka the Kingslayer brings him to the hall where oddly enough someone in the audience screams out,

“Kingslayer” not to Jaime but to Tyrion. I thought that was a dramatic role reversal.

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They council brings up witness after witness showing evidence that Tyrion Lannister is guilty of killing Joffrey. They take a short break which Jaime makes this his opportunity to try to save his brother in which he does momentarily as Tywin Lannister offers him to save his brother if he quits the Kingsguard and becomes next in line to the throne. Jaime agrees and tells his brother to just comply and fess up to his false crimes.

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It seemed like for a second that Tyrion was about to take his advice but they finally pushed a motherfucker to the edge. As the council brought out his one true love, Shae, which she dropped the bomb on him and the court, telling the council that it was the plan of Tyrion along with his wife to poison the king.

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As Grandmaster Flash would say,

“Don’t push me because I’m close to the edge. I’m trying not to lose my head.”

That was the last country-ass straw that broke that Humpday Camel’s back! Tyrion loses his shit!

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“I wish to confess. I confess. I saved you, all of you. I saved this city. All of your worthless minds. I should have let Stannis kill all of you.

I confess that I am guilty of being a dwarf but I am not guilty of killing the king.

I will let the Gods judge my fate… I want a trial by combat. “

Boom!

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You might as well hand out that Golden Globe and the rest of the awards to Peter because he fucking “Kingslayed” that scene and other every scene this season. This is just other reason why Game of Thrones is one of the best shows on television because of all the great story lines and the great actors/actresses who play these awesome characters making this show a must watch every Sunday night. I’m just a fan like you but I have not read the books so I don’t know what’s going to happen next but I eagerly wait what’s going to happen next in the Seven Kingdoms.

Game of Thrones “OathKeeper”- King of the White Walkers!!!

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Written by: Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

G.O.T is soooo good because it has so many great story lines that sometimes you forget a couple of the stories. I mean this show has hot chicks, fighting, sword-play, midgets and even dragons. I totally forgot about the frozen zombies aka the white walkers. This show is totally about the bigger picture, even with everyone’s goals or problems, there is always going to be something bigger than their own stories. It just gives the show a bigger scale and environment, which I like. I do feel like everyone’s path is about to cross and it’s going to be glorious. They say, “Winter is Coming,” but I think it is already here and it’s going to take all the kingdoms to come together to defeat this undead army.

Please read our other G.O.T articles:

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

The Lion & The Rose (Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead)

Breaker of Chains (I do it for the Nookie)

 

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In the episode opens up with Daenerys Targaryen sending her unsullied, Grey Worm into Meereen to convince the slaves to rise up in order to be free and kill their masters. Like every other city that the Mother of Dragons visited, she easily defeats them and frees the people. She kills the masters and frees the people of Meereen. She also decides to crucify the rest of the leaders in front of the city of Meereen. Daenerys is starting to look and act like a leader having to make decisive decisions for her people.

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“I will answer justice with justice.”

Meanwhile, Littlefinger is still with Sansa Stark on his boat ,which she thinks that he killed Joffrey. Littlefinger explains that he could have killed but it could have been more people involved with the king’s death. Littlefinger is one of my favorite characters on the show because I can relate to him as a guy that comes from nothing, who is trying to do whatever he has to do to make it on top of the mountain or in this case, to sit at the throne.

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“So many men risk so little to gain little. I’ll risk everything to get what I want, which is everything…”

But we do find out who killed Joffrey but the episode was sooo good, I’m not going to spoil it but I will tell you it is better to be the king then not.

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Jaime Lannister is still trying to figure out how to jerk off with his left hand as he finally talks to his brother and realizes that he didn’t kill the king. Jaime tries to explain it to Cersei, but Cersei doesn’t want to hear that shit and wants the Kingslayer to find Sansa Stark and kill her. So, Jaime tasks this job to Brienne and gives her gifts for her trip. He gives her a sword, armor and Podrick. Yay!

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I thought I was never going to see Pod again. I think this is going to be a comical but great duo with Brienne and Pod. I really hope something sexual goes one with this two with Brienne of Tarth and Podrick, the pussy slayer.

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Further up north, Jon Snow is preparing everyone at Castle Black for the wildings. He is tasked to go to Craster’s Keep to help and defend it from the wildings. At Craster’s Keep, we see Bran Stark with his homies get captured with his dogs. We also see Hodor get mercilessly get flogged by the former men of the Night’s Watch. It was just so sad to see the gentle giant get beat down like that as he screamed, “Hodor…Hodor.” I be honest if he kept saying that over and over again I would have joined in the beat down.

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Photo Credit: AV Club

(Just kidding, take it easy! You guys are cool with incest but not cool watching a DJ get beat down)

This leads to the best part of the episode the White Walkers!!! When General Custer walked into the frame with Mr. Ed and Stewie, I was like, “oh, yeah?!!” (Stoner moment)

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The walker carries the baby into an icy ritual site and leaves the baby on the sacrifice table. What looked like the King of the White Walkers, it picked up Stewie and turns him into a White Walker. Winter is Coming, I say, “fuck that, it is already here.” Everyone should get prepared because it’s about to turn into the Walking Dead in this bitch!

Once again, I have not read the books and I don’t know what’s going to happen in future episodes, I am just a fan like you, watching and waiting for who will take the throne. Personally, I sorta want Hodor to the be last DJ standing. Also, if you were wondering, I wrote this while I was totally inebriated. I do it for the fans!

Games of Thrones: Breaker of Chains (I do it for the Nookie!)

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Written By: Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

First off, I have to tell you that I am writing this article sober so the bullshit might not be up to standard to what you are used to but I’m pretty sure you’ll feel disappointed and won’t learn nothin from it after reading it. This week’s episode is called Breaker of Chains, which is the perfect title because everyone in this episode is breaking away from their masters expect for Cersei she kinda gets rapped a bit. But before I get to the incest, I just want to say I will miss King Joffrey, the little prick. He deserved to die and probably should have died horribly the way he did by poison. But kings fall all the time and new kings have to rise. Long live the new king, King Tommen Baratheon.

Please read our other G.O.T articles:

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

The Lion & The Rose (Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead)

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The episode opens up with the former King’s Fool leading Sansa Stark away from Kings Landing into the hands of Littlefinger. Petyr Baelish tells her that she is safe and that it was all his idea. A natural businessman and a gangsta, he kills the Fool immediately, killing all ties with him. He tells Sansa that everyone in the kingdom are a bunch of liars and she should trust him. I am not sure that Sansa should trust, an owner of a whorehouse. Don’t get me wrong, Littlefinger is one of my favorite characters on the show but I would never turn my back on him. If the man’s motto is life is only a ladder that you climb, he is willing to step over anyone to get to the top.

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Everyone in the kingdom is dealing with the king’s death which Cersei Lannister with her other son, Tommen Baratheon, is at the side of the fallen king. Tywin Lannister shows no sympathy for his fallen king and sees an opportunity to groom the new king. I got to hand it to “the Hand of the King”, he takes his job seriously. Tywin is willing to do anything to make sure that his family stays on top. He even offers an alliance with Prince Oberyn in order for more men at his side because Tywin knows that there more people than ever that want the crown and he knows that there are going to be many more battles ahead.

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Meanwhile, Cersei still morns for her once king and son. Jaime Lannister tries to comfort her but all he wants is the “nookie.” Cersei tells Jaime to kill Tyrion, his own brother. But Jaime is not listening because all he is thinking about is her lovely lady lumps. Jaime takes her and forces himself on to her in front of their fallen king and dead family member. In the beginning, I would have been shocked to see someone get raped in front of a dead family member but it has gotten to a point in G.O.T., you really have to shock the shit out of me to get a reaction. Don’t get me wrong the rape scene was still fucked up, but you gotta give more Mr. Martin!

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While the incest is going on, Podrick visits his master Tyrion Lannister in the dungeons. Podrick tells him that there is going to be a trial and that Sansa can’t be found. Pod also tells him that someone offered him to take sides against Tyrion, but he turned it down. Tyrion knows that Podrick could be in danger if he doesn’t help in the trial so he pulls another Beethoven and treats Pod like he treated Shae, telling him to leave him and the kingdom immediately. I certainly hope it wasn’t that last time we see Pod and Tyrion again because I thought they made a good Batman and Robin.

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There was other shit going on in the episode like Stannis Baratheon knows that the king is dead and wants to take the throne. Davos got a brain fart and might have an idea on how to achieve that for Stannis. The Hound and Arya Stark play father and daughter in order to get food and shelter. The Hound gets an offer to help a farmer, which he accepts then turns around and steals all the farmer’s money. Arya is pissed why he did it but the Hound just gives her valuable life lessons.

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You have to be strong in this universe or you be pushed aside and be forgotten. The wildings are getting closer and closer to Black Gate and we get closer and closer to see the lovers reunited once again. But the wildings are not the only bunch knocking on someone’s door.

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The very hot and sexy, Mother of the Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen finally makes it to the city of slaves, Meereen. But once there, the people of Meereen mock her and even send out their finest warrior to challenge her. But like the rest of the cities she sacked and turned, she destroys all challengers. She gives another Gladiator speech to the slaves of Meereen to break away their chains and kill their master. Frankly, I would do that if I saw three dragons and an army at the door, plus I would be free protected by a hot blonde. Daenerys played by the beautiful Emilia Clarke, it is no wonder that people are willing to do anything for her and follow her to the ends of the world. I would give my left toe for one night for the Mother of Dragons. I would do it all for the Nookie!

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So, this was my sober review of G.O.T., I hoped to like it. (I really don’t care if you liked or not) Hopefully, next review I should be nice and drunk, but today was 420 and got too high to remember to get drunk. Oh well, at least that little bastard Joffrey is in Hell!!! Long live whatever that other little bastard’s name is!!!

Game of Thrones (The Lion & The Rose) – Ding Dong the Evil King is Dead

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WRITTEN BY: RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ

First off, let me say that I know a lot of people don’t like Joffrey Baratheon because he is an evil little prick that tortures women to death and annoys the shit out of everybody but I liked him. I mean seriously, if you are a young man like he was that was recently named King of the Realm wouldn’t you want to do whatever you wanted to do. I am not saying that I would slaughter a bunch of women but I would rock out with my cock out. (Please use that phrase) I would have a ball because it seems to me in this universe that Kings or men with power don’t live long at all. So, why not wild out and live like it was 1799. That being said, Joffrey was probably the biggest asshole on the show besides that back-stabbing Roose Bolton. I know that he had to die but I will miss that sociopathic little prick.

Please check out our last Game of Thrones Article:

Two Swords (My Little Pony)

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In the opening of the episode we see a hunting party with Roose Bolton’s bastard son and poor Theon Greyjoy. Theon has become a total bitch and had his changed his name to Reek. Lord Bolton visits his bastard to see Theon, which he realizes that Greyjoy is not himself anymore. Bolton’s bastard son, tells his father that Theon is his obedient dog and even shows it off by letting Theon shave him, telling Theon that Robb Stark is dead and Theon does nothing.

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Bolton’s son wants to prove himself to his father and gets ordered to find the other Stark brothers at Black Castle with the help of Theon. I feel so bad for Theon, it’s like he can’t do nothing right. He tries to do the right thing but it just backfires on him. I just hope he dies a quick death because he has suffered too much already. Granted, what is dead may never die, but a man without his dick is not a man. It’s just Rosie O’Donnell.

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Speaking of beast, we see Bran Stark going Beast mode doing his Wog thing becoming his dire wolf. His other Wog buddy tells him that he shouldn’t be part of the beasts mind too long because there might be a chance that he would just become the beast he controls forever.

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Bran finds the Ticket Oak Tree to find out where they need to go. I am really hoping this story line ends up with him becoming one of the dragons then of storms to the Dwarf Kingdom, stealing all their gold and the Arkenstone. Oh, wait…

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A couple of story nuggets before we get to the glorious Royal Wedding and Feast; one, Stannis Baratheon is sulking like a little bitch and the Red Witch is still smoking hot. Tyrion and Jaime Lannister have lunch together, which Jaime reveals to Jaime that he can’t fight anymore because he jerks off with his right hand. So, Tyrion helps the King Slayer by having his sellsword to help out Jaime in his fighting. Tyrion breaks Shae’s heart because he fears that his family will do something dangerous to her and treats her like Beethoven. He demands her to live because he doesn’t love her and he is already married. A little unknown fact of Shae, played by the lovely Sibel Kekilli, she was a real porn star before she landed the gig for Game of Thrones. (And you thought you weren’t going to learn nothing from this article)

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Now before you degenerates go to Google to try to find out where you can see this (Go to YouPorn) please read all about the Red Wedding. King Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell finally get married and have a feast. At the feast there are many entertainers like the King’s Fool, an indie rock band and a midget show. The little person show showed all the fall kings and heroes of the Seven Kingdoms.

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Joffrey is having a fucking ball and why shouldn’t he?!! His enemies are dead, he got a brand new sword, he has a bad ass bitch at his side now, things are good but they can always be better as he humiliates his own Uncle, Tyrion in front of the Kingdom by pouring wine all over him like it was a Dr. Dre video.

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Joffrey goes further, telling Tyrion that he is the new “cup-bearer” before Tyrion gets a chance to go ape shit, the wedding cake shows up.

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Joffrey uses his brand new Valyrian sword to cut the take and takes a bite out of it. He tells Tyrion he is thirsty and brings him a drink. As soon as starts drinking, he begins to choke and falls on the ground. Cersei and Jaime try to help the king but it’s already to late the poison has done it’s job. I really hope it wasn’t a nut allergy that he died from because that is a sad, sad way to die. Fucking peanut butter?

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In one final act Joffrey points to his uncle and Cersei loses her shit, which I want to point the while the king was dying I was checking out the queen’s breast the whole time. Hey fuck you, don’t judge me! Life and death, breast and nut allergies go hand in hand. (If you missed the joke then drink some more then re-read this part)

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Cersei wants Tyrion to be locked up with the scene ending with the queen looking at her fallen son. I always thought Joffrey was a bit misunderstood by people. I mean he was a kid, you want him to be young and reckless. You know you would have done a couple of things he would have done, except killing a few whores. We will miss the former King of the Iron Throne. RIP Joffrey Baratheon, we all hope that your torturing a bunch of people in Hell you little prick…

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Once again I am super glad the Game of Thrones is back on television. I have not read the books so I don’t know what is about to happen in future episodes and almost all of the reviews I shall be totally drunk. Please share and talk shit if you want to because I won’t remember any of this except for the midget show, that shit was fucked up…

What is Dead May Never Die… Game of Thrones is Back Tonight!!!!

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