Faults are like headlights on a car; those of others always seem more glaring than our own! So, we become fault-finders. When we’re really good at it, it’s like the faults of those around us stick out like Rudolph’s red nose. We can’t (or won’t) avoid them. But what does it get us?
Finding fault seeks to assign blame, and blame, in turn threatens punishment and generates feelings of guilt and, more particularly, shame. I often wonder why we feel we must assign blame for everything that happens. Why can’t we accept that it doesn’t matter who left the refrigerator open, or who forgot to buy toilet tissue? Of course, there are big issues and someone needs to take responsibility when a fault has a major effect on others. The key here is ‘take responsibility’. No one wins when we insist on pointing fingers and blaming instead of finding a solution for the problem.
Fault-finding looks to…
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