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Not many handshakes going on these days By Spearfruit (BLW Contributor)

I remember that day as if it were yesterday.

I am a hugger and a kisser; my mom and her side of the family are huggers and kissers.  I remember spending holidays at my grandmother’s house – my mom’s mom.  I grew up with this side of the family always hugging and kissing.

My dad’s side of the family was totally opposite.  They never expressed their love in this sort of way.  But my mom’s side of the family always did.  And I guess me not being your typical guy, grew accustomed to hugging and kissing and did not put much thought into doing it – except with my brothers and my dad.


My siblings and I worked for my dad in his fast food restaurants and I guess I considered him my boss.  My mom also worked in the business and I can remember calling my mom and dad by their proper name.  That continued until I left the business and moved on to other jobs.  The relationship with my dad was not close through my childhood years and early adulthood years; for quite some time it was more a business relationship instead of a dad/son relationship.  You can read more about my relationship with my dad in these posts ‘My Dad Who Taught Me Plenty’, ‘I understand the words ‘I love you‘‘, ‘Anger Towards My Dad‘ and ‘A Letter From Dad‘.  But over the years as we both grew older the relationship began to change.

I remember that day as if it were yesterday.

I was visiting my dad at his house and it was time for me to leave.  The usual action to take place was to shake hands; this is what we always did.  Today was different, not because of a special occasion or special anything; it was an ordinary day with an ordinary visit.  It was time to leave, and that farewell would be different.

Upon leaving with no intentional thought I hugged my dad and gave him a kiss on the cheek and left.  I got into my truck, left and started driving home and after several minutes it occurred to me.

What did I just do?  What was I thinking?

That is the point, I was not thinking; I was just acting.  I was acting the way I acted with everyone upon leaving and saying goodbye; with a hug and a kiss.  This is what comes natural to me but did not for so many years to my dad.  We never spoke of that farewell on that particular day, but it was the event that helped change our relationship.

Today, I hug and kiss my dad always without hesitation and the response is welcomed.  I do not kiss my brothers, but we do hug now – not many handshakes going on these days.

The first hug and kiss to my dad – I remember that day as if it were yesterday

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  1. I go through this like every other day…with my girlfriend’s mother though. I hug and kiss my mom every time I see her. The same goes with my older brother, but not our oldest brother. But this is due to him living in another country. And you know what, I don’t have much of a relationship with my father but every time I see him, I plant on his cheek and give him a hug.

    But with my girlfriend’s mother, she never hugs nor kisses her mother because that is the way she was raised. I, on the other hand, as soon as I see her mother, I give her a great big hug and a kiss. The first time I did it, my girl blushed. She was so happy. But her mother was genuinely surprised. She literally became a stiff. Now, I do it every chance I get. I so grateful of her.

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