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When Rejectuins go Wrong? by Cyphers Den Blog (BLW Contributor)



If you read my previous entry, then you would have learned a method I tend to use a lot when I really don’t want to be bothered while out at either a nightclub or lounge. [See “Mr. Ass Licker”]  It’s truly sad to have to go through this but at the same time, there are moments where as a woman, you have to use your best judgment.  One thing that I have learned is always to make friends with the establishment’s security or owners.  There’s nothing wrong with being friendly to those whom may be the ones to save your life at the end of the night.

I have heard stories before where a woman would be approached by a male in a club while heavily intoxicated or belligerent.  Naturally reacting, the women would claim to have a significant other.  You would think that this type of answer would turn the men off but this is not always the case.  So what do you do or say when the person still pursues you?  Our second reaction is to give them a wrong number.  What’s wrong with this method?  Well now, guys are getting hip to it and some will go as far as to actually dial the number right there in front of you.  The last thing that you need at this point is for some husky, beefy man to answer the phone and advise the determined man that he has the wrong number.  Why?  Well, a lot of men cannot handle rejection too well (especially if this takes place in front of their boys).  Now they feel embarrassed and will seek retaliation.  

Take the following cases:

Photo Source: Huffington Post

Police say a man shot and killed a woman after she rejected his advances at an event in Detroit over the weekend. Five people were also injured during the incident.

Mary Spears, 27, was at the American Legion Joe Louis Post No. 375 on the east side of Detroit when the 38-year-old suspect allegedly approached her and began talking to her, according to WDIV.

When the suspect asked for her number, Spears, whose fiancé was also at the event,told him she was already involved with someone, WJBK reports. The suspect, however, continued harassing her, family members told the station.

Police said security took the man out of the club through the back door and escorted him to the front. After a fight broke out, the suspect allegedly took out a handgun and began shooting, killing Spears around 2 a.m. Sunday.

How scary is that?  

So you tell someone that you’re not interested in one way or another and instead of just taking it with a grain of salt, the person decides that’s not enough.  

What about this story which happened more recently:

(l-r) Janese Talton-Jackson (Photo source: Janese Talton-Jackson's Facebook) / Charles McKinney (Photo credit: Pittsburgh Police)

(l-r) Janese Talton-Jackson (Photo source: Janese Talton-Jackson’s Facebook) / Charles McKinney (Photo credit: Pittsburgh Police

Janese Talton-Jackson, 29, was shot and killed Friday morning in Homewood, Pittsburgh after leaving a bar, and the suspect is now in custody after being shot by police.

Officers responded to a ShotSpotter report that detected gunshots at N. Lang Avenue and Upland Street at around 1:50 a.m. During a traffic stop, the police encountered 41-year-old Charles McKinney in a silver vehicle. The authorities received a dispatch stating that a woman had been gunned down in the area, and upon hearing this, McKinney sped off…

Authorities say that the incident began when McKinney attempted to talk to Talton-Jackson at a bar, but when she turned him down and left the bar, he followed her out and shot her in the chest.

So how do you actually go about rejecting someone that you’re not interested in, without becoming a victim to violence?  

When does  “No,” mean “NO“

Leave a comment and let’s discuss this matter.  There are plenty of women who are just not sure what can be said in order to prevent a matter from escalating to this point.  Men, please provide any feedback as well.  Why do you think this happens?





  1. Hi Sabrina, This is an interesting read. We girls are faced with a great challenge especially when we say no and mean it. A lot of men do not realize that because, as a woman, there are a lot of things we compromise for the people we love. So sometimes we mean it but have to change what we say coz of our loved ones.

    Does this make sense??

  2. I am from Metro Detroit and growing up, I’ve had a friend get slapped in a club for rejecting someone and another friend get a drink tossed in her face with a smack due to rejecting a male at a fireworks show. Both took place in Detroit back in the early 90s. It is sad to see this type of violence still going on. There were other cases of verbal abuse that happened to my friends and I in the mall, at parties, etc after not wanting to give out our numbers.

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