What do you want to be when you grow up? This question is asked a lot when you are in your youth. Some of us find the answer easier than others. Some of us are living a life quite different than what we had envisioned for ourselves in our youth. Myself, I did not see the life I have today. Nor most of the adult life I have had for that matter. Goals change over time. Everyday life and the choices we make sometimes pre-empt any pre-conceived visions for ourselves that we may have had for. Other factors such as self-doubt and lack of confidence can often play a huge part in the makeup of our lives.
I for one, have suffered with these issues for most of my adult life. I never had a clear vision of what I wanted to do. I have had several different careers over the years. I have gained valuable and marketable skills from some, and others that really got me nowhere. I have been down the road of addiction and thankfully was able to finally strike that course out under my own power.
A couple of years ago I started really taking a hard look at myself. I had been married for 26 years, had raised three wonderful children, had a job that was paying the bills. Overall I was comfortable. But I think that was the root problem. I had become complacent and resigned myself to the “This is as good as it gets” mindset. I think a lot of people in my age group can say the same if they chose to really take a hard look at themselves. I love my children dearly and I have never had one regret about being a parent. However, when I started digging into myself, I discovered that I wasn’t happy in my marriage, my career, even my location. When I really started reflecting back, the marriage had not been satisfying to me for a lot of years. I suspect the same held true for my wife at the time as well. We put on a good show most of the time, but there was definitely something missing from the equation. When the last child left for college, that is when it really hit. When you realize that the only thing you really have in common with your significant other is the three lives that you brought into this world, and now that they are up and out, well what’s next?
I walked away. It was not an easy decision by any means. But it was one that I needed to make. Now I am not by any means advocating divorce here. Just giving a little background on my situation. Everyone has their own unique circumstances when it comes to desiring change in their lives. The point I am trying to make here is that if you reach that point when things just do not seem to be as they should, you have the ability within you to change your situation. I am not a Dr. or Psychologist, I just know what has worked for me. We have to be careful at our age (fast approaching 50) that we do not give up on dreams or aspirations because of the lack of confidence in our abilities to achieve them. Just because you have done the same thing for thirty years does not mean you cannot do something else equally well or better. It just takes the right mindset.
Do not let yourself fall into the trap of thinking you are too old, or not qualified to do anything else. You may find on reflection and self-evaluation that you have abilities and talents that have been there all along, just untapped because of making time for everything else all these years. I spent the better part of my adult life in Retail management. I am now a professional photographer. Did I go to school for this? Nope. I have a degree in Management and Marketing. My free time now allows me to pursue my other love. Writing. All of these discoveries came when I started looking at what I could do for myself, and make myself a happier and better person. There is nothing wrong with lifting others up and being a support system for them when needed. But you cannot lose yourself in the meantime. Again it is all in the mindset.
All of these articles on my blog have a pretty recumbent theme. Self-Confidence and how to obtain and maintain it. Ultimately that is what all of this comes down to. Your belief in yourself to be able to accomplish what you want. This holds true with any age group, but as I said I think a lot of us get to this point in our lives and the levels of confidence that we may have had, are not as strong anymore. Just like exercising the body to maintain physical fitness, we need to exercise our minds to maintain emotional fitness. Maintaining positivity, conquering fears, seeking new opportunities for personal and career growth. We all have these abilities. We just have to use the right strategies to implement them.
Please feel free to read my other ramblings on this site and if you find them helpful, feel free to share with others that you think might benefit from them.
Check out other great articles from Dave Dyer