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Amy by Purpleanais (BLW Contributor)


I watch the mess you made, the mess they made of you. From the very first, you were a damaged little bird. When you think about it, the reasons — daddy, then druggy dandy — were so fucking absurd. Yeah, you created a stir, threw tantrums, you were obviously disturbed as well as stellar, you really needed someone to be stern with you. Then maybe, just maybe Amy, this slow decline into squalor and horrid emotional torture wouldn’t have occurred.

I watch you on the screen, through my fingers, feeling intense sorrow mingling with growing horror.
I see you, Amy…
so hurt,
your words.

All that potential, annihilated by your own sorry self…and others, greedy vultures.
The jazzy smoky voice.
The rowdy dirty laugh.
Everything you could have been. Everything you already were – your myriads of colours.
Amy W 1

People, what do they know, say it was your bloody vices or even evil curses that precipitated this disaster…whatever! But what really ruined you, Amy, was the fact that nobody ever thought of saying, and meaning, nonono to you. It wasn’t a dark love that destroyed you, it was the utter and shocking lack of tough love from your dearest and closest.
So, one day, your heart stopped beating. Way too early. Maybe you got tired of waiting for things to get better. But it’s not the end of your story, how could it ever be. You went back to black, Amy — but you left forever behind that fragile little girl, who just reallyonly, wanted to be heard.

*I watched “Amy”, Asif Kapadia’s documentary about singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse at 3am today after a fantastic and joyful night out. Was it the alcohol still flowing in my veins or the extremely well-made film? Probably both, but I found it incredibly poignant and was in floods of tears by the end of it – I just had to write those few words when the end credits had finished rolling. I love Amy’s voice, but even if you’re not a fan, I heartily recommend watching the documentary.

Check out other great articles from Purpleanais



  1. Blackbird

    I caught a moment of starlight

    Through the low hanging clouds

    When I was sitting on the side

    Of a hill

    Next to that weeping willow tree

    The road you chose

    Led to that same sad place

    Oh, you bought your ticket

    And made it there without delay

    It is enough to make me cry

    To see you as you were

    As a schoolgirl

    The light still on

    A song inside

    Oh my G_d she was such a lovely talent

    Oh my G_d what has she done

    Oh no she could not keep away

    Oh no she fell too far

    Such a tragic play

    Your luck ran out

    And your old friends did you in

    Maybe you were misguided in


    Where you will always stay

    I still listen to you

    I hear your song

    I try to avoid that place

    Where I can’t find joy

    Where life is too fast

    And you don’t see the wrong

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