Poetry Mondays – 90210 by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

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I fucking hate everyone here.

This whole city

can go to hell.

These old money,

trust fund fucks

with their lip injection

fake smiles.

More evil than

Jabba the Hut

with their botox shots,

treating everyone like cunts.

These men with their

power suits,

power lunches,

money is power types.

Guarded

&

protected by

high walls with racists pigs,

which even Mr. Orwell

would’ve been horrified with.

Keep hiding behind

your glass houses.

Cause I see through you,

I see all your cracks.

When the “Big One” hits

I hope it strikes here first,

swallowing this whole place

back down to hell.

If there is any justice left in the world,

it will happen.

If not, I’ll just keep

praying to Satan.

RYAN FU

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Case of the Mondays – Do you have Bitchy Resting Face?

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What is Bitchy Resting Face? Urban Dictionary describes it as a bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgemental at rest. Their expression does not necessarily reflect how they are feeling inside. BRF can ruin friendships and first impressions, start fights and kill an atmosphere.

“I think Deborah hates me!!”, “Nah don’t worry Susie, she just has a nasty bitchy resting face”

“That customer just lectured me on customer service and threatened to take her business elsewhere! What did I do wrong?” “Prob just your BRF”.

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True Detective – Episode 2 (Night Finds You) – Now is His Watch is Ended

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WRITTEN BY RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ

True Detective – Night Finds You

(Spoiler Alert) Jon Snow is still DEAD

First off, wow!!! Un-fucking believable!

This is probably the first time I’ll ever say this on a review but if you haven’t seen the episode, then don’t read this article because it will ruin your night or at the very least blow your fucking mind.

In the last episode of Three’s Company they find Mr. Roper’s body aka Casper on a bench, which he is dead as a ghost. Back at the office each law enforcement agency wants a piece of this investigation because each side has something riding on it. So, they have Ani (Rachel McAdams) be on point while Ray (Colin Farrell) is second on the case. I was very fascinated on the pairing between Rachel and Colin because both of them are equally good at what they do but both are equally fucked up. The dynamic duo lived up to my expectations as they were in the car having a contest on who was more “fucked up,” which believe it was a tie because Ray wasn’t going to get “Father of Year” as his wife is trying to get sole custody of his kid because of the tiny incident with kid, who bullied his son and Ani wasn’t going to get nominated at all for “Daughter of the Year” because of her hatred of her father and her porn obsession. I seriously thought this was the beginning of yet another beautifully fucked up relationship but as we get to the end, it’s more fucked up then Taylor Kitsch’s character.

In the jurisdiction nonsense for Casper’s investigation, Taylor’s character Paul Woodrugh gets an opportunity to prove himself once again trying to desperately get back to the CHP because without his job, his life is miserable. As we see with his unemployed white trash mom and his unempathetic whiny girlfriend, who wants to be in a normal relationship because she doesn’t get that he’s been in through some tough shit when he was in the service. Paul is not ready to share that part of himself with her because it’s too dark and evil, which he might just hate that part of himself even though it was one of the the reasons why it helped him get through those tough situations. But Paul doesn’t want to think about that and just wants to focus on his job because without it his life begins to unravel as we can see with Vince Vaughn character Frank Semyon.

In the beginning of the episode, Frank is having a midlife crisis in the early morning with his wife, Kissed by Fire played by the beautiful Kelly Reilly. We see how Frank became the man he is now with his papier-mâché story about his alcoholic father locking him down in the basement for a week as the rats try to eat him.

“It’s all papier-mâché.”

Or is it about all about the money? As we find out that with Casper’s death left Frank a very sizeable debt, which puts him in jeopardy with his bigger plan. But Frank is a man of will and he didn’t get to where he is in life by sitting on the sidelines as he puts it so eloquently,

“I’ll get it back. Every time.”

He gathers his troops to find out who took his money, making his thugs beat up suspects and meeting up old associates to find out more of Casper’s particular proclivities. Frank manages to find out that Casper had a “Fuck House,” which he makes Ray to check it out as they meet at up the bar because he’s a detective. But Ray seems to have a change of heart maybe because of the talk with his ex wife about how he used to be a decent man or the fact he might lose the only thing he loves in his life, his son. Or he’s just plain tired of leading a double life as he says he’s tired of it all. So, he doesn’t know why this relationship with Frank should exist anymore. But Frank doesn’t want to hear that shit. He wants fucking results because metaphorically he doesn’t want to be that kid back in the basement anymore with the rats chewing his hands. He can’t fail. He won’t let himself fail as he would go back to square one, to nothing.

This is the part of the article I would strongly suggest to turn back if you haven’t seen the show but if you’re a sucker for punishment, which you probably are if you read any of my shit, stop reading the rest of this.

Ray decides to go on Frank’s lead to Casper’s 2nd house where we can see in the foreground the same car that Casper’s body was transported in to the park bench. So, I immediately thought this can’t be good. As Ray starts to investigate Casper’s house, he sees evidence that something happen at this house with blood on the floor but before he could add anything up in his head, he gets blasted with presumably the same shotgun that Casper died from. Then the killer makes sure he doesn’t come back from the dead like White Walkers on Game of Thrones as he double taps Ray.

There were a lot of comparisons with Ray’s character and Jon Snow’s character in Game of Thrones, which if you didn’t watch the Season Finale a couple weeks ago, you should probably just stop read this article because you’re not going to like it either. Jon’s character died just like his father because they thought they were going the “right thing”, which usually leads to your death if your own a show where everyone is looking out for themselves. Another comparison is that both characters had all the opportunity in the world to walk away from their lives. A chance to live and go on a different path, but both characters had a sense of duty, which they had to fulfill because this is who they are down to the bone. Also, he was fucking killed by a guy with a Crow Mask!!!

Now both of their Watch Has is Ended. Which, I not sure if Colin’s character is really dead or not, but it’s still pretty ballsy writing to kill off your lead character. It’s definitely going to affect the story and how the show proceeds now but that’s the mark of a good show or any kind of good writing. The writers are willing to kill off favorite characters in order for the story to live. I can’t wait for the next episode of TD, which I’m hoping Ray is still alive as the Night King of the City of Vinci.

Fu’s Observations:

  • Did Vince have morning wood during that really depressing story about eating rats? He did eat rats you know, you can’t survive for a week without food.
  • I loved how they talked about the SPRAWL. Last season of TD, they used as a term to talk about the vast network of families and land in Louisiana, which this season I believe they’re going a great job showing us how fucking BIG Los Angeles is because it is a SPRAWL.
  • If you’re torturing a dude, just go for his penis. He’ll tell you anything you want.
  • The car scene with Ray and Ani was fucking hilarious as we get deeper with Ani’s character on why she has to protect herself with all her knives. In the first episode, when we first see Ani’s character, there were a bunch of Eastern Philosophy books about being a warrior and self defense books. One of these books was the Hagakure, the Way of the Warrior.
  • Colin’s best lines:

“E Cig is like sucking a robot’s dick.”

“I’m not tight with anybody.”

“A good beating promotes personal growth.”

“I support feminism,” after learning the Ani can kill any men in a minute or less.

“We get the world we deserve”

  • I almost turned off the tv because of the TMZ shot of Paul’s scandal with the Hollywood actress.
  • I personally think getting a blowjob from patron should not be grounds for employee punishment.
  • But Taylor’s character won that argument with his girlfriend by using that great method of turning the argument into the another person’s problem: “You’re doing this, I’m not doing this.”   Winning the conversation by taking out all the responsibility from your side. Choose your battles guys.
  • Two great characters we got to see this episode is the Asian guy from Dexter played C.S. Lee and Pedro Miguel Arce from the underrated show The Strain, which I highly recommend.
  • I want Pedro’s “Fuck You” grille
  • Does Rachel McAdam’s character into all kinds of porn? Would she be down for Nugget Porn? (Let the Goggling begin)
  • Once again the bar singer, who could have been a cast member of The Girl, Interrupted, Lera Lynn sets the mood every time with her hauntingly beautiful songs at the bar. Check out the interview she did with Vulture on how her songs got on TD: http://www.vulture.com/2015/06/lera-lynn-true-detective-singer.html
  • “I’ll comeback and butt fuck your father with your mom’s headless corpse …”  RIP (Maybe) Ray Velcoro

Check out our TD Season 2 Reviews

The Western Book of the Dead

Check out this performance from Kit Harington / Jon Snow singing for Ygritte

RYAN FU

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Weekend Inspiration – All you need is Love (Beatles)

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Make up to $1,000 or More a Week w/ Being a Lyft Driver 

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Your Welcome – Deep Fried Big Mac (Double Cheeseburger) – What are your thoughts? Would you eat it?

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@PEEPMYSNEAKS

On his website, Peep My Eats, the chef breaks down the steps to making one at home. Turns out, all you need is four ingredients, one of which is a toothpick. (Other three: A Big Mac. Eggs. Breadcrumbs.)

The Deep-Fried Big Mac topped the crispy, battered creation with extra Mac sauce, naturally.

What are your thoughts, is this too much? Would you eat it?

Here’s a quick video on how to make a deep fried Big Mac:

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Rose McGowan’s agent drops her for criticizing Adam Sandler’s project – Do you think it’s right? Is Hollywood sexist?

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According to the LA Times, on Thursdaythe Wrap broke the news that McGowan’s agent, Sheila Wenzel, had parted ways with Innovative Artists on Monday. According to the outlet’s sources, once Wenzel was gone, the agency did not want to continue repping the actress.

McGowan, who has been wrapped up in the excitement around the June 21 release of her short-film directorial debut “Dawn” had gone public in a no-big-deal way with some advice that’d been included with a script for a project starring Adam Sandler.

“casting note that came w/script I got today. For real. name of male star rhymes with Madam Panhandler hahahaha I die,” she tweeted on June 17.

The note: “-Please make sure to read the attached script before coming in so you understand the context of the scenes. -Wardrobe Note: Black (or dark) form fitting tank that shows off cleavage (push up bras encouraged). And form-fitting leggings or jeans. Nothing white.”

A few days later, she tweeted an explanation of her reaction. “I was insulted by the instructions to ‘read the script for context.’ Hahaha.”

“I just got fired by my wussy acting agent,” the actress tweeted Wednesday night, “because I spoke up about the” — let’s call it the hooey — “in Hollywood. Hahaha. … #awesome #BRINGIT”

Do you think she should have been fired from her agent? Is Hollywood sexist?

Make up to $1,000 or More a Week w/ Being a Lyft Driver 

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Flashback Friday – Smooth Criminal & Bad (Michael Jackson)

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The Day the Internet Broke by Ryan Fu (RIP Michael Jackson)

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WRITTEN BY RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ

It was just a normal Thursday, which we were halfway thru the week as we couldn’t wait for the weekend. Angello and I were banging out sets as usual on Bedford when we heard the sad news. Queen on the Scene ran up on us in a frantic pace telling us that Michael Jackson was dead.

First off, if you don’t know, who Queen on the Scene is? She is a homeless woman who is a personal amateur bodyguard for celebrities as they go to the doctor’s office. She offers her services to protect the celebrity from annoying poporazzi then she gets a donation, if she doesn’t get a donation, she doesn’t hesitates to shit on the celebrity for being a tightwad. Most of the when she came up to us talking about celebrity news we normally thought she was crazy but this time she was on point. Apparently, Mr. Jackson was carted off in an ambulance in the morning for health complications but he wasn’t dead yet. I tell Queen to calm down because he wasn’t dead yet but we still had to investigate it for ourselves.

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I made a couple of calls finding out that MJ was heading to UCLA Medical center. But before we head over there, I spotted Flavor Flav walking the down the street which you couldn’t miss him with his big clock necklace. We all run down the street to get Flavor as we all start taking photos and video of him. He was loving the attention, showing off his famous grille having a blast with us until Queen showed up to do her act telling Flavor the horrible news that MJ was possibly dead. Flav stopped in his tracks hugging Queen asking us if it was true or not. We tell him the story that he got rushed to the hospital but he wasn’t dead yet. But it was evident that the news really affected him like it did Queen, so we decided to go the medical center to see what was going on, taking Queen with us.

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When we get there it was already a madhouse as the bad news has already spread around town that MJ was dead as all the news services showed up to UCLA to cover this event. But not also did the press caught wind of MJ’s death, his fans showed up in droves, crowding the entrance of the medical building. A lot of them holding pictures of Michael, some of them with their signs showing their love for the King of Pop. Angello and I started to take pictures and film the pain and chaos surrounding the medical center. Then head of PR of the hospital held a press conference to tell us the bad news.

“Michael Jackson has been pronounced dead on June 25, 2009, at 2:26 pm PT.”

The shit just hit the fan. People were crying and holding each other, hearing the awful news. As Angello and I, tried to get out of the press conference, pushing out way of the crowd so we could upload our photos, I noticed a large contingency of the media filming this little girl holding a Michael Jackson picture in her arms, crying after hearing the bad news. I looked around noticing that this little girl wasn’t the only one that was affected by Jackson’s passing because we all grew up on his music. It was like hearing a good friend of yours just died. It finally hit me that MJ was actually dead and I was in shock like the rest of the masses at UCLA but I still had a job to do, so we find the nearest Starbucks to upload our shit.

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That Starbucks was packed with reporters trying to do the same shit we were trying to do but they had the same problem we did trying to send the most important story of the year.

The fucking internet stopped working. Like it literally stopped because of all the traffic of the Michael Jackson news. I tired to check on the latest news on MJ but my phone couldn’t pull up anything. I couldn’t even text or email anyone. The Michael news was so big that it affected the ebb of flow of the net. This was the first time I’ve ever seen that happened before but I guess I should have expected it when someone that had a lot of positive affect on billions of people around the world, would have that kind of power. People wanted to share their thoughts about the man who brought countless of joy in their lives.

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We gather our things deciding we should just leave this sad scene, taking Queen back to Bedford. As we past the medical building, we could see the huge crowd of Michael’s fans huddled up together, lighting up candles for the late great Michael Jackson, holding hands as they singing his songs, as once again MJ brings us all together with his music. 

Rest in Peace Michael Joseph Jackson

RYAN FU

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Thankful Thursdays – Being Alive is Enough

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