Written By John D. Aguon @lttlgnt & Doc G @rorymcqueen33
Plus BLW Staff
It’s that time of year! The 86th Academy Awards have been announced this morning with GRAVITY and AMERICAN HUSTLE taking the lead with the most Oscar Nods, each having 10. After an unpredictable Golden Globes, with 12 YEARS A SLAVE taking best Drama and THE WOLF OF WALLSTREET snagging Best Comedy/Musical, the Best Picture Award is poised to shock some people.
It’s that wonderful time of year, when we in America celebrate the great art that is cinema. We celebrate this art, like all art should be celebrated, by making the artists compete against each other to see whose art was truly the best art of the year and whose art didn’t quite deliver.
The Oscars don’t mean shit and anybody who uses the Oscars to help them determine which films were the best of the year are mooks (author’s note: If I should one day win an Oscar this article and all that follows means nothing, the Oscars rule and Oscar winners are freaking Gods)
People use the Oscars to rate a movie. Like Robert Redford’s performance is any less great because All Is Lost was seen by a dozen people and didn’t get nominated. Any time you want to know what the Oscars truly means remember 1992 and 1997. In 1992 GOODFELLAS was against DANCES WITH WOLVES and Marty was against Kevin. Now I like Dances, great ling flick, tutunka , buffalo shit was great and for once the Native Americans weren’t one note savages like most American films showed them to be, but instead were enlightened people who had no clue what was about to run over them. All that being said, GOODFELLAS is a fucking masterpiece. If it is on cable, and it has to be cable, because fuck not cursing, but if it is on cable I dare you to not watch 5 minutes and get hooked into 30 (Luckily I have a cable theory that states that GOODFELLAS, HEAT and FULL METAL JACKET happen to be on cable at least once a day)
Martin Scorsese lost to Kevin Costner and Goodfellas lost to Dances at the Oscars.
In 1997, these 3 films were up for best picture. PULP FICTION, SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION AND FORREST GUMP.
Which film won best picture and director?
Now history looks at Pulp Fiction as being a masterpiece, maybe the finest independent film of all time.
I don’t know one human being that does not like this film. I mean Pulp Fiction can rub some people the wrong way, but unless you are a heartless, soulless, asshole, you have to like Shawshank.
Has some memorable lines because Tom Hanks played a retard great( is retard no longer the correct nomenclature? Are we officially calling them special?)
Watch Forrest Gump today and tell me this movie sticks with you?
As Robert Downey Jr says in Tropic Thunder, never go full retard?
That is my advice for today, never go full retard.
Let’s take a look at this year’s NOMINATIONS
Dallas Buyers Club (Check out our Review)
Gravity (Check out our Review)
Her (Check out our Review)
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wallstreet (Check out our Review)
JOHN D. Pick:
This year’s best picture is a tough one, I don’t feel like there is one movie that stands out more than the others. I think it’s safe to say that that NEBRASKA and PHILOMENA can take the back seat, because all though they were both good movies, they don’t have the same buzz as the others. I’m pretty surprised to see that the Academy left out the Coen Brother’s INSIDE LLEWELLYN DAVIS, considering the Oscars have huge Jewish support. Also, I would have preferred to see indie films like SHORT TERM 12 and FRUITVALE STATION get some recognition. With preordained films like THE WOLF OF WALLSTREET, 12 YEARS A SLAVE, GRAVITY, and AMERICAN HUSTLE, I’d say the Best Picture race is up for grabs.
Who WILL win: AMERICAN HUSTLE
I’m going to say that David O Russell’s eccentric take on the 1970’s Abscam, is the slight favorite here. To me the Oscar’s have been a big popularity contest. Right now, American Hustle has all the “cool kids”: Christian Bale, Amy Adams, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, and let’s not forget Jeremy Renner.
Who SHOULD win: HER
This film really needs to win. It represents the “indie” style of filmmaking that often is unappreciated .Spike Jonze did an exceptional job directing, the script is unique and smart, the acting is impeccable and to me the technical aspects of the film is as innovative as it gets.
K.K. Martin’s Pick: 12 Years A Slave – This is the only movie with a black lead that has already won awards this season. Also because there will be so much white guilt this move can’t lose. Plus Oprah will curse; I’m more than sure she has that power since she wasn’t even nominated.
Doc G Pick: When did this shit become 9 or 10 films, way to boost every studio’s advertising by allowing 9 films to show ads claiming they were a best picture nominee. Next year let’s do 20 films and if you aren’t nominated for a best picture your film is immediately pulled and every print is burned.
WHO SHOULD WIN: Who cares who I think should win? Should is such a bullshit thought anyhow, it’s a word of fantasy. I should be rich and I should have been born to a trust fund family. I wasn’t, but I should.
Who will win: I’ll tell you in a few weeks, and if you can’t wait and need to be told who will win by me, shoot yourself.
David O. Russell- AMERICAN HUSTLE
Alfonso Cuaron- GRAVITY
Alexander Payne- NEBRASKA
Steve McQueen- 12 YEARS A SLAVE
Martin Scorsese- THE WOLF OF WALLSTREET
John D Pick:
Another tough category. I’m surprised Paul Greengrass didn’t make this list for CAPTAIN PHILLIPS and Spike Jonze deserved a nod for HER. But, with that being said this category has five of the industry’s heavy hitters. I love David O. Russell, but I just can’t get past the notion that he Directed five of the best Actors of our generation, even Snooki could Direct those brilliant actors.
Who WILL win: Steve McQueen
I have a strong feeling that voters are going to award 12 YEARS a SLAVE with this category. After all, it is a slave movie and if you haven’t seen the Oscars, it wouldn’t be complete without giving an award to a movie about slaves.
Who SHOULD win: Martin Scorsese
Risk. Martin Scorcese took a massive risk. He split audiences with his provocative display of the wolves on Wall Street and created an artistic masterpiece at the same time. I think this film deserves it. I also have to mention that he’s waaayyyyy past his prime.
K.K Martin’s Pick: Martin Scorsese, do we really need an explanation?
Doc G Pick: This is the category where the guy who wins knows that his film has no shot at winning the Best Picture award that closes the night. It’s the new tradition where guys like Ben Affleck can win Best Picture but lose the director award. If Steve McQueen wins this David Russell should just start getting his Best Picture speech for American Hustle ready. Also the order in which awards are presented corresponds to how important Hollywood views each award, with Best Director being the second to last award and supporting actress coming first.
Cristian Bale- AMERICAN HUSTLE
Bruce Dern- NEBRASKA
Leonardo Dicaprio – THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
Chiwitel Ejiofor – 12 YEARS A SLAVE
Matthew McConaughey – DALLAS BUYERS CLUB
John D Pick:
Three words: TOM FUCKING HANKS. I’m genuinely surprised he wasn’t nominated. But really? Who would you trade him for? I’d be happy with any of these guys winning. I really wish Joaquin Phoenix was nominated, that dude killed it in HER.
Who WILL win: Leonardo DiCaprio
I think there’s a rotation of Actors who take place at the top of the mountain each year…Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis and DiCaprio. Although Bale is my personal favorite of the three, I’m predicting Leo has done enough as the wild and loopy Jordan Belfort.
Who SHOULD win: Matthew McConaughey
Just so we can have an encore of his Globe’s speech.
K.K. Martin’s Pick: Leonardo DiCaprio – Name another actor’s dick the academy is sucking on right now? He’s this year’s golden boy, those other bitches had a turn and the newbies won’t get wet until they hit the 2 year mark.
Doc G Pick: The best category of the night filled with the best talent. Leo was amazing playing a douchebag but like they say never go full douchebag. Aids or being old, one of those things will help Bruce or Matt win.
Amy Adams – American Hustle
Cate Blanchett- Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock- Gravity
Meryl Streep-August: Osage County
John D Pick:
Once again hard to see any of these fine actresses being a shock of win. Both Blanchett and Bullock prove that they can compete with the perennial Oscar winner, who I also think this category should be named after Meryl Streep. Amy Adam’s side cleavage deserves recognition and Judi Dench, well is Judi Dench.
Who WILL win: Cate Blanchett
I don’t have a problem with her winning, she was great in this film and she may be the hot pick going in to this.
Who SHOULD win: (Tie) Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock.
Streep really transforms into her roles and did you know she’s British??!! Bullock, carried a film for 91 minutes and went through shit in GRAVIT, a lot of shit. Just give it to her.
K.K. Martin’s Pick: Meryl Streep – 1. She’s fucking Meryl Streep 2. Have you seen this movie? She out performed everyone on the list.
Doc G Pick: Think it on purpose that support actress giving before supporting actor and best actress given before actor? That being said, best actress this year is packed with performances no one saw. From Streep getting nominated for reading the phone book and Judi Dench being nominated for being able to stand Steve Coogan.
Barkhad Abdi- Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper- American Hustle
Michael Fassbender- 12 Years a Slave
Jonah Hill- The Wolf of Wall Street
Jared Leto- Dallas Buyers Club
John D Pick:
Wow. Just Wow. This is my favorite category this year. Chris Rock lost a grip load of weight for this role as Barkhad Abdi, Bradley Cooper with a Jheri curl, Michael Fassbender as a lustful southern slave owner, Jonah Hill actually did some acting, and Jared Leto as a really, reeeeeeallly convincing transgender. Enough said.
Who WILL win: Jared Leto
This guy made it look easy to tuck your balls eight hours a day for the few weeks they shot.
Who SHOULD win: Jared Leto.
Watch DALLAS BUYERS CLUB….now!
K.K. Martin Pick: Jared Leto – its hard being a woman and it’s even harder being a fucking drag queen. The tucking, the taping, the layers, having a uterus…
Doc G Pick: Give it to the black guy from Africa who says ” I am the captain.” Seriously the other 4 dudes are going to be banging hot chicks and never worrying about money or violence again. Win or lose all four of those guys are going to have pretty good fucking lives. The African kid is never going to be a star of another film, will never bang Renee Zewellger (well you never know), and will never enjoy life, let him enjoy this night.
Sally Hawkins- Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence- American Hustle
Lupita Nyong’o- 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts- August: Osage County
June Squibb- Nebraska
John D Pick:
This Category to me is the least exciting. I just think the general public is on the high that is Jennifer Lawrence. No surprises, she takes this hands down.
Who WILL win: Jennifer Lawrence
She did an amazing job playing annoying and crying in every scene, like in SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK. Something tells me that’s not the last will see of that.
Who SHOULD win: Scarlett Johansson
Nothing against the actors is this category, I just think Johansson needs to get recognized for her brilliant voice work as the Futuristic yet quirky Operating System, Samantha in the film “Her”.
K.K. Martin Pick: Lupita Nyong’o because she proved to the American audience that she is above us and better than Beyonce old ass. She fucking shows up at the Golden Globes like a pro, after leaving her graduation at Yale. Quite frankly I’m fucking tired of Jennifer Lawrence ADHD ass. I’ll even take Julia Roberts for the spread, ‘cause she was amazing in August: Osage County.
Doc G Pick: I am just so fucking glad Oprah did not get nominated for Lee Butlers The Butler. I could not give a rats ass who wins any award, but something inside of me smiles knowing Oprah didn’t get nominated.
Remember the LONE RANGER has more Oscar nominations then SAVING MR BANKS, OUT OF THE FURNACE and a dozen other films, so do the Oscars really means shit.
Here’s a list of the rest of the nominations:
Foreign Language Film: “The Broken Circle Breakdown,” Belgium; “The Great Beauty,” Italy; “The Hunt,” Denmark; “The Missing Picture,” Cambodia; “Omar,” Palestine.
Adapted Screenplay: Richard Linklater, Julie Delpy, Ethan Hawke, “Before Midnight”; Billy Ray, “Captain Phillips”; Steve Coogan and Jeff Pope, “Philomena”; John Ridley, “12 Years a Slave”; Terence Winter, “The Wolf of Wall Street.”
Animated Featured Film:
Ernest & Celetine because this is a movie that was hand drawn and only a handful of people actual seen. So the appreciation of something like this will win over those other big budget cartoons.
First of all FUCK YOU for not nominating Amir Mokri. I still pick Amir Mokri.
Original Screenplay: Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell, “American Hustle”; Woody Allen, “Blue Jasmine”; Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack, “Dallas Buyers Club”; Spike Jonze, “Her”; Bob Nelson, “Nebraska.”
Animated Feature Film: “The Croods”; “Despicable Me 2″; “Ernest & Celestine”; “Frozen”; “The Wind Rises.”
Production Design: “American Hustle,” ”Gravity,” ”The Great Gatsby,” ”Her,” ”12 Years a Slave.”
Cinematography: “The Grandmaster,” ”Gravity,” ”Inside Llewyn Davis,” ”Nebraska,” ”Prisoners.”
Sound Mixing: “Captain Phillips,” ”Gravity,” ”The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” ”Inside Llewyn Davis,” ”Lone Survivor.”
Sound Editing: “All Is Lost,” ”Captain Phillips,” ”Gravity,” ”The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” ”Lone Survivor.”
Original Score: “The Book Thief,” John Williams; “Gravity,” Steven Price; “Her,” William Butler and Owen Pallett; “Philomena,” Alexandre Desplat; “Saving Mr. Banks,” Thomas Newman.
Original Song: “Alone Yet Not Alone” from “Alone Yet Not Alone,” Bruce Broughton and Dennis Spiegel; “Happy” from “Despicable Me 2,” Pharrell Williams; “Let It Go” from “Frozen,” Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez; “The Moon Song” from “Her,” Karen O and Spike Jonze; “Ordinary Love” from “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom,” Paul Hewson, Dave Evans, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen.
Costume: “American Hustle,” ”The Grandmaster,” ”The Great Gatsby,” ”The Invisible Woman,” ”12 Years a Slave.”
Documentary Feature: “The Act of Killing,” ”Cutie and the Boxer,” ”Dirty Wars,” ”The Square,” ”20 Feet from Stardom.”
Documentary (short subject): “CaveDigger,” ”Facing Fear,” ”Karama Has No Walls,” ”The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life,” ”Prison Terminal: The Last Days of Private Jack Hall.”
Film Editing: “American Hustle,” ”Captain Phillips,” ”Dallas Buyers Club,” ”Gravity,” ”12 Years a Slave.”
Makeup and Hairstyling: “Dallas Buyers Club,” ”Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa,” ”The Lone Ranger.”
Animated Short Film: “Feral,” ”Get a Horse!,” ”Mr. Hublot,” ”Possessions”, “Room on the Broom.”
Live Action Short Film: “Aquel No Era Yo (That Wasn’t Me),” ”Avant Que De Tout Perdre (Just before Losing Everything),” ”Helium,” ”Pitaako Mun Kaikki Hoitaa? (Do I Have to Take Care of Everything?),” ”The Voorman Problem.”
Visual Effects: “Gravity,” ”The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” ”Iron Man 3,” ”The Lone Ranger,” ”Star Trek Into Darkness.”
What do you think of our picks and who are your choices for the winners and losers for the 86th Academy Awards?