“LIVE LONG AND PROSPER”
The Vulcan greeting and the finger-separating hand gesture that accompanies it first appeared in the second season of Star Trek: The Original Series, during an episode titled “Amok Time.” Spock himself (actor Leonard Nimoy) has made no secret of the fact that the gesture and phrase were his idea, and that he based them on Orthodox Jewish blessings he remembered from his childhood. In the Jewish blessing, the position of the fingers forms the Hebrew letter “Shin,” which represents the name “Shaddai” (Almighty God). Nimoy put his own spin on the traditional gesture by holding up just one hand (instead of both) and changing
WRITTEN BY OUR ANONYMOUS INSIDE MAN….OR WOMAN
Hmmm, how should I set this up? Do you watch TV? Do you watch “Reality” TV? If you are an American, odds are you do, and odds are is that you love it. Odds are also that you believe what you are watching is fact and not scripted. Well, take it from somebody who knows, 90% of Reality TV is scripted scenes performed by very bad actors. Yeah, yeah, you claim you already know this, but do you? Do you know the extent Reality Producers go to make their so-called “Reality”? No you don’t. I do, cause for 5 years I have been working on Reality TV crews. Now I cant tell you what department, or my gender cause for every gig, one must sign paperwork basically saying the production company can sue you if you make public what goes on set. I thought it was time I start to share some of my experiences to the public so at least they know what kind of garbage they are truly watching.
Lets start with a restoration car show I worked. You’ve seen these shows. Their is a shop ran by friends and families. They get clients who want to fix up an old classic car. Sounds simple enough, but that’s in real life, this is Reality TV. First off I discover that the business is not even owned and ran by who the show’s claims. Nope, the real owner is not even on screen. The producers found this shop (it is an actual restoration body shop) and put in their cast. Speaking of, the main cast knows very little about fixing up cars, but they are presented to have this knowledge. I get to the set and I notice some off screen workers fixing up the last details on this sick ass classic car. These workers stage seats in front of the vehicle, the producer calls over the camera crew and the cast. ACTION! With direction coming from the producer, our so called experienced body shop owners pick up the seats and place them in, then they talk about working all night, the vehicle is almost ready and that they are stressed out because the deadline is soon upon them. HA! Really?
Let me explain this so-called deadline. For this episode one family member is giving another family member a surprise birthday gift- a fixed up classic car. Who wouldn’t want that? The gift will be delivered at a birthday party…Surprissseeee!!!! Ok, this sounded real to me. Until I found out that the two family members aren’t really related. In fact they have never met each other. The first time they will meet will be at the birthday. Can you say “casted”? That’s right, someway, somehow, the producers pulled these 2 people out of their asses. I was actually amazed cause up until the point I found out I believed it and thought the gift was very thoughtful. Shame on me.
I saved the best for last. At the shop the crew is packing up to go film the presentation of the car at the birthday party. The cast is getting in their cars and taking off. So I’m thinking how come they just don’t drive the gift over. Well that’s cause a tow truck drives in to take over the fixed up classic car. Was the tow truck being used cause they don’t want to damage or dirty the birthday gift….uhhh no. Its cause the classic car/birthday gift doesn’t even RUN….I just laughed. We all get in the van, and the tow truck does its thing. Once we arrive at the party, the people their are friends of our show’s cast and do not even know the two family members. No they are just there to look cool. The way the last scene was filmed was classic. Since the truck didn’t run, the producers had a problem…or did they?
In the front yard, the two fake family members were placed in the front yard. Down the street 2 of the show’s cast were placed in the classic car that didn’t run. Behind the car were a bunch of crewmembers ready to push. That’s right, push. I then observed the camera crew discuss how this scene was going to be show with tight shots, then a wide shot at a certain moment. After final discussions….ACTION!
With all their strengthen, the car was pushed and picked up momentum to the point it went slowly down the street by itself. The cameras stayed tight while the car was being pushed, then when the pushing crew let go and got out of the way, the shots went wide…beautiful I thought.
Inside the car the show’s cast were screaming and honking the horn, while on the front yard the two family members looked in amazement. The birthday casted family member put on a very surprised and happy face, and when the car pulled up and stopped right in front of them (a total accident), glee was felt through out the scene. What a gift!
I’m not against Reality TV at all. What I am against is how it’s presented to the public as real or even documentary like. I wish they were just honest about it. Look at Tru TV’s show Operation Repo. In the beginning credits, in small font, it states actors are used on the show. The director decided to do this from day one because there is no other legal way to make a show. He got shit from his peers for this. They did not like the fact he was showing the public how Reality TV is really produced. Did it hurt the show? No way, it is one of the most successful Reality shows ever.
From time to time I will share my experiences so at least some of you will know that you are being played. Here’s a little teaser. A few years ago I was on the set of a big hit show, where the host got into a verbal argument with a guest. I thought it was real, the guest thought it was real…until cut was called. The guest went up to the host to apologize and make sure they were still cool. The host responds, “Ah, don’t worry, it’s only for the show”.
Ryan Fu: So, I recenty just watched “Her”, in which I was totally blown away. Many of my friends recommended the movie to me when it was actually in the theaters but I just thought it was other corny romantic flick, so I didn’t give it a chance. Until, a week ago it became available on cable, so I decided what the heck and boy, I was totally wrong about the movie. It was so much deeper than a simple love story. Here is our poignant but great review of Her by our writer John D. Aguon.
“Her” and our Self-Loathing Society
By John D. Aguon @lttlgnt
So a couple of nights ago, I took date night with my girlfriend to the cinema and saw Spike Jonze’s “Her”. I can’t help but find the irony, in that I took my girlfriend to see a movie about a man who falls in love with his OS (Operating System). Although the story could sound ridiculous to those anti-technology cynics, it’s hard not to imagine a world that seems not so farfetched. I’m going to admit, that if I had one of those pretentious Oscar votes, this would be my favorite film of the year by far! Also, If you’re not a fan of Joaquin Phoenix, I’m going to predict you’re going to slap the “I don’t like Joaquin Phoenix” version of yourself, the minute you walk out this film. Phoenix plays the hopeless Theodore Twombly, a writer who makes a living creating letters for other people who pay for personalized poetry and not too long after Jonze sets up Twombly to be so heartbroken after a recent divorce, the lonely Twombly buys his future girlfriend in the form of an OS charmingly names herself Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson).
Now what if it were that easy? What if you were so alone that you needed someone to talk to and voila, $369 (+tax) and a $99 startup fee you have the future Mr or Mrs. You?! Let’s say your OS would be designed to your every need and you were completely happy with it, what would be so wrong with it? It doesn’t have to be romantic, it could be platonic, what would be so wrong? Here’s the deal, an OS so intuitive that it could tell when you’re having a bad day wouldn’t be so bad for you….but for your relationships, something like that would be basically death.
Let’s face it, I think I’m on my phone about twenty percent of the day…okay forty percent. Whether it’s googling the most googled words of 2013 , checking out if Peyton Manning scored enough points in my fantasy football league ( we all know he scores more than enough), or even instagramming some McDonalds. But I’m not alone here, and you know it. Our phones went from being connected to the wall to being connected to our hands in the matter of just fifteen years.
So, the future is coming and It won’t be long until we will be living alternate lives with our OS in whatever area has a good WiFi signal (Shout out to all the shitty starbucks wifi nationwide) It won’t be long for us to be bumping into one another because our heads our fixated facing down to our ultra-bright iPhone screens. Then soon after, life on earth would be a bunch of people walking around with virtual helmets that simulate whatever we want to imagine our world to look, smell, and feel like. The use of physical touch would be so obsolete and intricacies of conversations with another person would be mere fables.
As depressing as this sounds, artificial intelligence is growing rapidly and were seeing the tip of already with Siri. As brilliant as “Her” was, and I mean really brilliant, the film slapped me with a hard look at the reality of our self-loathing society. With technology growing to acclimate to your personal needs, were losing touch of what’s in front of us, the real emotions that make life worth living, not just your pseudo-life we live on Facebook.
With that being said, “Her” is an incredible film! It’s not just a film about a guy falling in love with his computer. It’s about the relationships we have in our lives. The performances are exceptional, with Joaquin Phoenix being my front runner for the best Actor award and Johansson really deserves some recognition, despite not showing her sexy self once on screen. It’s extremely insightful and thought provoking. The visual aspect is amazing, as Jonze uses every aspect of film, from the music (scored by the eccentric Arcade Fire), to the colors, to the editing, and he places you in a futuristic world that seems just so introverted, so easy, so…human.
Mychael Anthony – The Professional Comedian
WRITTEN BY RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ
Listen, I’m not the hottest dude in the world, so when I dime piece is totally into me, it’s a big deal for me because I’m usually in the 5 or 6 range for women in the dating scale. I know I sound like a pig but women do the same thing, which I know you’re not ranking me next to Ryan Gosling. That being said, I was buttering up this hot Brazilian honey for a good month, teasing and having fun with her until she finally couldn’t take it anymore, craving the Fu. (Try not to laugh to hard)
So, we decided to meet at the Congo club at Universal City. If you don’t know me, I’ve recently changed my life around with my diet and fitness. Which means I haven’t had any bad carbs like bread or rice, which for Asian is insane because it courses through our blood. So, when I walked inside of Universal City, the sweet smell of Cinnabon was too much for me. I couldn’t resist it, getting into the line with the rest of the rejects and failures. As soon as I got my Cinnabon, I devoured it like a diabetic vampire, drinking the icing like blood. I felt so awful like one of the supposed rape victims of Dr. Huxtable, eating one of his famous Jello pudding.
I make the walk of shame towards the club as I get into the club I decide to go straight for the bar to get back my manhood. I order three shots of Patron in which the bartender saw look in my face it was an emergency and gave me the fourth shot for free. I lose my inhibitions as I down the shots of Patron like a naïve model at Cosby party. (Last Cosby joke) I felt good getting on the dance floor making a fool of myself. Then in midst of me grinding on this fine chica, I felt a rumbling in my stomach. It was the revenge of the Cinnabon.
So, I quickly got off the dance floor, cutting in front of the line of the bathroom, getting into a stall as I find Jesus, repenting for my diet sins. I grind my teeth together, clenching my fists as I let it go. Relief. Sweet relief. As I try pull myself together, the Brazilian honey called me, in which I was moving too fast, as I butter fingered my phone into the toilet. As I looked at my expensive phone with the beautiful Brazilian face on it calling me, floating right next to my Cinnabon dookie, all I could do was to laugh. I laughed hysterically, making people feel uncomfortable around me.
This is life. Sometimes shit happens, literally, to which you can’t do anything about it except to laugh and let it go. Life is tough and it helps when you can laugh it. Thank Satan we have “professional” people, who actually make it their living, trying to make us laugh in order to forget some of our shitty days by telling their own shitty stories. One up and coming comedian I want to showcase is Mychael Anthony, who has been doing Stand-Up for years and is a regular at the Improv in Hollywood. Plus, he is also a fixture on the highly popular Entertainment News show, TMZ.
Stephen King once said, “any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build a house of cards, but it takes a genius to make people laugh.”
Ryan Fu - What are you famous for?
Mychael Anthony – “I’m not a star, not even almost famous.”
Ryan Fu - Is there is difference between fame and popularity?
Mychael Anthony - “Popularity means to be liked. Errrybody likes the popular kid, pop music, pop culture, ect., but fame means people know who your are.
Ryan Fu - How long have you’ve been a comedian?
Mychael Anthony - “My whole life has been a joke. Started gettin paid in 08′.”
Ryan Fu - When did you realize you were going to be a comedian?
Mychael Anthony - “When my rap group broke up!”
Ryan Fu - Give me the do’s and don’ts for being a comic?
Mychael Anthony - “Don’t wear shorts & Do you!”
Ryan Fu - Who are your role models or heroes?
Mychael Anthony - “Robert Townsend, Red Foxx (STL), Cedric Entertainer (STL), Bernie Mac, Richard Pryor and Eddie.”
Ryan Fu - Why did you choose this profession?
Mychael Anthony - “It chose me! I wish I didn’t have the desire to make people happy or smile.”
Ryan Fu - What is your proudest moment?
Mychael Anthony - “I got a few, but here’s three,
- Opening up for Paul Mooney (wrote for Richard Pryor)
- Following Jay Leno & his words he shared about me & my set.
- David Spade saying “I saw you on T.V. Last night, your funny!”
Ryan Fu - What are you passionate about?
Mychael Anthony - “Entertaining!” “Live Performance is everything!” “If your an artist that doesn’t perform, your NOT an artist.”
Ryan Fu - Do you like being paparazzi?
Mychael Anthony - “I’m a field producer dick!”
Ryan Fu - Do you have any funny paparazzi stories?
Mychael Anthony - “Naw, but I like seeing paparazzi guys get all excited over a celeb and fall down because their not paying attention. HILARIOUS!
Ryan Fu - What do you like and dislike about your job?
Mychael Anthony - “I like my job.” Just hate being called paparazzi, but I’ve been called worse. So it’s not so bad.”
Ryan Fu - What makes you so successful?
Mychael Anthony - “My family & likes on Facebook!”
Ryan Fu - Are you the best at what you do?
Mychael Anthony - “Not even close!”
Ryan Fu - What is your philosophy on business/relationships/ life?
Mychael Anthony - “If it don’t make dollars it don’t make sense” – DJ Quick
Ryan Fu - What is your ultimate Goal?
Mychael Anthony - “Happiness”
Ryan Fu - Do you have an advice for young comics?
Mychael Anthony - “Don’t quit.”
Check out Mike’s next show this Friday at the Ice House