Financial Intimacy by A Thomas Point of View (BLW Contributor)



I fell in love the first time. I’m walking the next time. – A.W.

Heard the above quote on Monday and I was like “Yes”. That’s what I’ve been trying to say. So, here’s the background…

Mr. K and I were talking last week about what I call financial intimacy. I was stressing the importance of financial intimacy when he was discussing the issues in his first marriage. I explained that we had similar stories and that is why I believe in financial intimacy.  I explained the concept to him.

Financial intimacy occurs when you and your partner have reached a point in your relationship where you decide to take it to the next level. Whatever that level may be for you. You sit down and provide your full financial picture: i.e. current credit reports, any loans you owe (mortgage, car, student), credit cards, etc. You produce a full financial picture with your partner to share before you take that next step. In my case, it would be engagement, because I’m not shacking up. (Thankfully, he doesn’t either)

What I’m saying is that before you get engaged you need to be intimate financially with each other. You should make sure that you and your partner are aware of the back story before getting engaged. Don’t waste time or money on an engagement ring if you don’t know everything about your partner. It could make for a costly situation.

Call it years of knowledge, or trial by fire, but many people who’ve gone through a marriage and a divorce that cost them financially will agree that you want to walk into any other situation with your eyes wide open. Not falling with your eyes wide shut.

Heap of money with wedding cake topper

Can you imagine marrying your soul mate only to find out that they are $250,000 in debt? Nope. But, it is real. It happens all the time. But, let me tell you one of the top reasons for divorce….money.

Yep, you know it. Why? Because before we get engaged, we don’t do pre-engagement counseling to determine whether or not we are compatible. It’s counseling before you get engaged. I heard this from a classmate who did it and started researching it. I was like…Yep! This is what everyone needs to do.

I wish I had known about it before I took the plunge. Heck, I’m sure he wished he knew about it too. Once we got engaged and the ring sat on my finger, it seemed that problems were not always handled effectively. One of us was compromising to the point we were dismissing potential landmines so that we could get married. It was about the wedding and getting through to that day so we could live blissfully ever after.

That didn’t work. I don’t remember the financial piece in our pre-marital counseling, but I’m telling you that it in no way prepared us for living, working and paying bills together. We had one philosophy…separate accounts. We tried the first year of marriage to have joint accounts but we had different philosophies on spending that contributed to the stress in our relationship. We loved each other so we didn’t want to argue over money. We thought by keeping separate accounts we could live in bliss. However, after year 10 he wanted to try joint accounts again. I was determined not too. Too many issues already. It became worse.


I’ve learned some things since I last said I do and that is the importance of financial intimacy. No secrets. No hesitation. No regrets. No entering into a situation where I wish I had been prepared. I don’t want a debt that WE didn’t create. You can love all you want with your heart, but you don’t want to pay in the end with your pockets. It can cause resentment.

Check out other great articles from A Thomas Point of View

Survival of the Fittest – Benefits of Eating Apples


  1. Get whiter, healthier teeth

An apple won’t replace your toothbrush, but biting and chewing an apple stimulates the production of saliva in your mouth, reducing tooth decay by lowering the levels of bacteria.

  1. Avoid Alzheimer’s

A new study performed on mice shows that drinking apple juice could keep Alzheimer’s away and fight the effects of aging on the brain. Mice in the study that were fed an apple-enhanced diet showed higher levels of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine and did better in maze tests than those on a regular diet.

  1. Protect against Parkinson’s

Research has shown that people who eat fruits and other high-fibre foods gain a certain amount of protection against Parkinson’s, a disease characterized by a breakdown of the brain’s dopamine-producing nerve cells. Scientists have linked this to the free radical-fighting power of the antioxidants contained therein.

  1. Curb all sorts of cancers

Scientists from the American Association for Cancer Research, among others, agree that the consumption of flavonol-rich apples could help reduce your risk of developing pancreatic cancer by up to 23 per cent. Researchers at Cornell University have identified several compounds—triterpenoids—in apple peel that have potent anti-growth activities against cancer cells in the liver, colon and breast. Their earlier research found that extracts from whole apples can reduce the number and size of mammary tumours in rats. Meanwhile, the National Cancer Institute in the U.S. has recommended a high fibre intake to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer.

  1. Decrease your risk of diabetes

Women who eat at least one apple a day are 28 percent less likely to develop type 2 diabetes than those who don’t eat apples. Apples are loaded with soluble fibre, the key to blunting blood sugar swings.

  1. Reduce cholesterol

The soluble fibre found in apples binds with fats in the intestine, which translates into lower cholesterol levels and a healthier you.

  1. Get a healthier heart

An extensive body of research has linked high soluble fibre intake with a slower buildup of cholesterol-rich plaque in your arteries. The phenolic compound found in apple skins also prevents the cholesterol that gets into your system from solidifying on your artery walls. When plaque builds inside your arteries, it reduces blood flow to your heart, leading to coronary artery disease.

  1. Prevent gallstones

Gallstones form when there’s too much cholesterol in your bile for it to remain as a liquid, so it solidifies. They are particularly prevalent in the obese. To prevent gallstones, doctors recommend a diet high in fibre to help you control your weight and cholesterol levels.

  1. Beat diarrhea and constipation

Whether you can’t go to the bathroom or you just can’t stop, fibre found in apples can help. Fibre can either pull water out of your colon to keep things moving along when you’re backed up, or absorb excess water from your stool to slow your bowels down.

  1. Neutralize irritable bowel syndrome

Irritable bowel syndrome is characterized by constipation, diarrhea, and abdominal pain and bloating. To control these symptoms doctors recommend staying away from dairy and fatty foods while including a high intake of fibre in your diet.

  1. Avert hemorrhoids

Hemorrhoids are a swollen vein in the anal canal and while not life threatening, these veins can be very painful. They are caused by too much pressure in the pelvic and rectal areas. Part and parcel with controlling constipation, fibre can prevent you from straining too much when going to the bathroom and thereby help alleviate hemorrhoids.

  1. Control your weight

Many health problems are associated with being overweight, among them heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea. To manage your weight and improve your overall health, doctors recommend a diet rich in fibre. Foods high in fibre will fill you up without costing you too many calories.

  1. Detoxify your liver 

We’re constantly consuming toxins, whether it is from drinks or food, and your liver is responsible for clearing these toxins out of your body. Many doctors are skeptical of fad detox diets, saying they have the potential to do more harm than good. Luckily, one of the best—and easiest—things you can eat to help detoxify your liver is fruits—like apples.

  1. Boost your immune system

Red apples contain an antioxidant called quercetin. Recent studies have found that quercetin can help boost and fortify your immune system, especially when you’re stressed out.

  1. Prevent cataracts

Though past studies have been divided on the issue, recent long-term studies suggest that people who have a diet rich in fruits that contain antioxidants—like apples—are 10 to 15 per cent less likely to develop cataracts.

Credit: Best Health Mag

Motivation Monday – Everyday is your chance to show people you can be Great (Rosa Parks Day)



Rosa Parks Day is an American holiday celebrated on February 4 or December 1 in honor of the civil rights leader Rosa Parks.

On December 1, 1955 after a long day of work Rosa Parks boarded a bus in Montgomery, Alabama. She took her seat in the ‘colored’ section, but as she road the Cleveland Avenue bus home, the bus began to fill.

The Montgomery city ordinance allowed bus drivers to assign seating, however it did not permit them to demand a passenger give up their seat. Despite this, bus drivers had customarily required black passengers to give up their seats to white passengers when the buses became full.

When Rosa Parks was asked to give up her seat, she refused. She was arrested and what followed is Civil Rights history. She was found guilty on December 5, 1955 of violating the city ordinance and fined $10 plus a court fee.

African American leaders, including E.D. Nixon and Martin Luther King, Jr., organized the Montgomery Bus Boycott for the day of Rosa Park’s trial. The boycott was a success and lasted several months, devastating the transportation system in Montgomery.

I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free… so other people would be also free – Rosa Parks

Find out why you’re so Lazy? (Science is Awesome)


Poetry Mondays – Meta Me by Ryan Fu


When did the online

version of me

become better than

the real me.

There’s something wrong

with the world 

when people want to hang out 

via Skype.

Where we spend half our lives

looking at nugget porn


grumpy cats

watching untalented people

making a fool of themselves

to extend their 15 mins of whoring.

Don’t I have enough pixels,

aren’t I better than HD quality? 

Didn’t I receive enough 

likes on my page?

How many followers do you need

to be consider someone to like? 

Fuck your LEFT


RIGHT swipe

The Oracle was right 

we’re all trapped 

in cyber purgatory 

permanently signed on

for whole world to judge

as our footsteps gets traced,




without us even knowing


consenting to it.

Building a case

that the real you



      the virtual you 

is much better

because they can

     control you.




the real me

will disappear 

into Matrix

leaving behind 

my digital footprint


my Google searches

for Carrot Top.




Buy it on

Computer Security – How to protect your computer from Malware?

Dragon’s Philosophy – Always work on your Craft



Artsy Fartsy – Christmas Snow by Bob Ross (The Joy of Painting)

The Modern Caveman by Christina B (BLW Contributor)



There continues to live a bit of caveman in us today, I think. The man of our house, for one, loves making a wood fire whether it’s in a fireplace or for a barbecue or simply for the sake of having a sociable ambience fire, and I love having a wood fire just as much. Staring into the flames of a cosy fire while time seems to stand still for a while is mesmerising, comforting, peaceful and very social. Nothing rushes us as we sit around a camp fire maybe with a glass of wine and life slows down for a while, bringing us back to nature and the people around us.  Television or mobile phones are superfluous, the company of the fire which has a life of its own and those around us are enough. It takes us back to a time where daily activities ended with last light and everyone would gather around the fire at night to share stories and life would slow down for a while.

The smell of a friendly wood fire triggers happy memories of sitting around a camel thorn wood camp fire whilst holidaying in Namibia, a hard wood that would burn slowly with its own particular magical smell. It’s something I’ve loved doing from my childhood days. Sometimes in Namibia in the middle of winter in freezing temperatures we sat around a camp fire at night but it was so bitterly cold that only the part of your body which faced the fire stayed warm. Every so often after you’d warmed your hands over the fire you’d have to turn around to warm your back because it would have got cold in the meantime, and so you’d continue to keep turning around every few minutes to try to keep warm. And no camp fire was complete without having toasted some sticky sweet marshmallows on sticks.

One of our camel thorn wood camp fires in Etosha, Namibia, on our last visit there

One of our camel thorn wood camp fires in Etosha, Namibia, on our last visit there

Where cavemen might have looked at the sun askance and murmured amongst each other over the weather, we now have weather apps predicting and forecasting what we can expect. We have weather stations telling us current, minimum and maximum temperatures and weather channels on TV with long-term forecasts. My husband loves weather stats, amongst others, and always updates us on the latest forecasts, especially when we’re away from home. The weather station goes along on holiday and gets moved around to different locations for different readings in an attempt to find the ideal location, such as under the front veranda of the tent or beside the tent in the shade.

Recently when we stayed at Donnelly River, an old mill village in the Southwest of Western Australia, in an old timber miller’s cottage we had the opportunity to enjoy some lovely wood fires again. Lying nestled in a little valley, the village gets colder than the surrounding area and with tall Karri trees that have grown to about 30 metres all around, the sun sets early and as soon as it does the temperature dips quickly. Our caveman was in his element when he was able to light us two fires every night – one in the fireplace and another in the old wood fired kitchen stove. Collecting the kindle and firewood supply of varying thickness was a daily activity with which Child No 3 was tasked to help dutifully every time, much the same as it would have been in years gone by and great was the joy – mine included – when the little timber cottage started heating up and in the early morning cold we’d try to warm our hands over the fire inside the old kitchen stove. We teased him over his unabated joy and pride in having made us the fires, true caveman style, but we enjoyed having those fires in equal measure.

The old wood fire kitchen stove

The old wood fired kitchen stove

The old wood fired kitchen stoveA trip away wouldn’t be complete without the weather station going along though, so we had accurate temperature data all along, but it was quite entertaining when we were very proudly told the actual stats of a 0.1°C temperature increase inside the cottage not long after the fire in the old kitchen stove got going and I realised that even though we love all the temperature gages and modern gadgets that our technological age provides, deep down there still lives a bit of caveman in us, which really makes us but modern cavemen and which will hopefully live on in years to come. It’s great to take a step back sometimes and appreciate things in life that really matter, albeit with the aid of some mod cons.

Check out other great articles from Christina B


Weekend Inspiration – You are not Alone