Be your own Hero – How Resilient Are You?

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At first glance, these two people seem doomed to failure.He was born in poverty. When his mother died, he dropped out of school to work. He taught himself to read, worked at a series of jobs, and opened a general store with a friend. But his friend was an alcoholic who died, leaving him so deeply in debt he had to auction off all his possessions. He studied law, began practicing, ran for Congress, lost, was elected, then voted out of office. He ran for the Senate, but was defeated twice in a row. Elected president of the United States in 1860, Abraham Lincoln rose above adversity to become one of our nation’s greatest leaders.

She was raised in a dysfunctional family. Her mother rejected her, ridiculing her as “ugly.” Her father was an unstable alcoholic. Bothparents died by the time she was 10, so she went to live with her maternal grandmother and two alcoholic uncles. At 15, she went away to high school, where a wiseteacher recognized and nurtured her strengths. She married a distant cousin, who was later disabled by polio, yet became one of our greatest presidents. Throughout her life, Eleanor Roosevelt persevered, writing, teaching, working ardently for social justice, and after Franklin Roosevelt’s death, served as chair of the United Nations Human Rights Commission, drafting the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

What makes such a difference in some people’s lives? What moves them to transcend adversity, embrace a meaningful identity, and become beacons of hope? Stronger than genetics, external conditions, socio-economic status, or education, it is a power deep within us. The Renaissance called it free will: our power to choose and thereby create our own destiny. Smith and Werner’s (1982) landmark study of at risk children in Hawaii who defied the odds called it “resilience”—the ability to thrive despite adversity. While many of their peers developed ill health, behavioral problems, and learning disabilities, the resilient children, who had at least one positive adult role model, grew up with hope and perseverance, learning to see obstacles as challenges (Karren, Smith, & Gordon, 2014, p. 90; Smith &Werner, 1982).

Resilient people don’t give up or give in. They look forward, neither dwelling on the past nor blaming others. Instead of complaining, they ask “What can I do about it?”

In their new book, Supersurvivors (2014) David Feldman and Lee Kravetz offer dramatic accounts of men and women who’ve overcometraumatic experiences to become even stronger, more hopeful, more successful than before. Models of resilience, they demonstrate the remarkable potential of the human spirit.

How resilient are you? You can mobilize your own resilient assets by focusing on mentors and role models, connecting with your own sources of hope and inspiration, and taking positive action, one step at a time.

Credit: Diane Dreher, Ph.D.

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Be Like Bacon – Francis Bacon (Knowledge is Power)

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Be Like Bacon – Francis Bacon (Knowledge is Power)

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Epic Fail of the Week – What really goes on in Bachelorette Parties

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Tre’s Kitchen – 2014 Long Beach Crawfish Festival Review

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WRITTEN BY TRE SAUNDERS (UNCLE DUDESFACEBOOK

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21st Annual Long Beach Festival for over 21 years the Crawfish Festival has become a tradition to over thousands of festival goers annually. We combine the best Cajun, Zydeco, and New Orleans sounds of music, tons of fresh crawfish prepared Louisiana style and served by authentic Cajun chefs, giant food court, children’s area, dance floor, two stages and beach bars to create the largest Crawfish Festival outside of Louisiana, right here in Southern California.

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Truly authentic Cajun style in Long Beach California. From frog legs, cat-fish, hush puppies and of course crawfish. These guys had it covered. The decorative umbrellas. Added just the right New Orleans flear, to this west-coast’s homage to the “Big Easy”

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These guys had it down packed. All the wonderful, mouth-watering culinary highlights will blow your mind…and taste buds.

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Can’t wait til next year!!!

UNCLE DUDES

Swedish_poser

TOP (TRES ORIGINAL PRODUCTIONS)

CONTACT TRE @Facebook

Tre’s Kitchen – Smoken Chicken Wings with sauteed peppered carrots & Dirty rice with Andouille sausages.

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WRITTEN BY TRE SAUNDERS (UNCLE DUDES) FACEBOOK

Smoken Chicken Wings with sauteed peppered carrots & Dirty rice with Andouille sausages.

  • 1 pound chicken wings

  • Half cup of Worcestershire
  • Half cup Brown Sugar, reduces, then add
  • Half cup of rum reduces this again until it is thick enough to coat the back of your spoon.

Smoke the wings until they reach 165 degrees.

Then drizzle with reduction.

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UNCLE DUDES

Swedish_poser

TOP (Tres original productions)

CONTACT TRE @

Epic Fail of the Week – When Cannonballs go Wrong

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Poem of the Day – The Man in the Mirror

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Written By Galo Ramirez Facebook

Some days I sit and think
How did I get here?
I’m so far down a road
I don’t recall I steered

There’s no going back
It’s been so many years
There’s been too many smiles
To drown in all those tears

Regardless of all the danger
I grew strong from fear
I thought I was a man
A man without ears

I didnt want to listen
My pride was in fifth gear
Now I sit here
And God is to my rear

Without God I was blind
With God I see clear
The devil is no lie
The truth, he’s out here

I break free from his chains
Dear Lord watch over me
Watch over my family
My enemies and peers

There is no coincidence
Why God bled tears
Its never too late to repent
God is forever here

Forget what happened yesterday
Your wounds will all heal
Just look at the mirror
And reflect who steered who here

Tre’s Kitchen – Tre’s Meat sauce Pasta and Sausage

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WRITTEN BY TRE SAUNDERS (UNCLE DUDES) FACEBOOK

Tre’s Meat sauce Pasta and Sausage

toes seeded and peeled


4 cloves of garlic crushed


1 tablespoon of time 
 

1 tablespoon of rosemary


1 tablespoon of oregano 

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3 carrots diced 1 onion diced d pepper to taste.


2 red and green bell pepper Julianed.

½ lb of ground pork or lamb


1/2 lb of ground beef


If your budget is willing use all three meats


4 slices of prosciutto rendered or bacon


10 Roma tomato

3 stalks of celery diced


1 lb Rigatoni


One and a half can of beef or chicken stock

Your choice of sausage

½ cup of red wine. Something that you like to drink

Please share and Enjoy!!!!

UNCLE DUDES

Swedish_poser

CATERING

CONTACT TRE @ FACEBOOK

What the hell are we doing? Dating in the Modern Age – (10 Stages in Relationships)

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Dating these days is a joke. And not a very funny one at that. I don’t know if it’s because our generation started dating before we hit puberty or whether the Kardashians of the world have ruined what was once a beautiful thing, but the truth is that dating these days is horrible.

Half the damn time you won’t even know if you’re actually dating or not. What was once explainable using a single digit binary code now requires the decimal system.

It’s no longer “Are you dating?” or “Are you not dating?” There are now different stages, one hardly distinguishable from the other – at least while on the inside.

Looking from the outside in, on the other hand, gives shape to the confusing and convoluted dating culture that we have created for ourselves. Here are the more easily recognizable stages:

1. The One-Night Stand.

Regardless of whether you met on the street, in a coffee shop, at your yoga class or in the park, the first date tallies up to one thing: either a successful or failed one-night stand.

It doesn’t matter what the initial intentions are – not as if you know what the other person’s intentions are anyway – on the first date you’re either sleeping together or not. Depending on the results of this stage, you’ll move on to stage 2.

2. The Second Glance.

Seeing as how you were probably highly intoxicated the first time around, you decide to see this person one more time. This decision is most likely the result of you not being certain whether or not the person was good in bed.

You managed to black out sometime in the middle of it all and can’t figure out whether the person was the best or worst sex of your life. Round 2 it is.

3. The Booty Call.

You have officially dubbed him/her, or have been dubbed, worthy of sexual pursuit. Congratulations! You can now move on to phase 3: the booty call. Now it is acceptable for you to text this person at odd hours, preferably when you’re intoxicated or about to be intoxicated, to come over.

In this stage, it isn’t recommended that you refrain from calling the person or see him/her without drinking heavily or taking drugs – it may be awkward. I mean, you’ve only been intimate a dozen times or so… slow down already.

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4. The Friend With Benefits.

This is the first stage when you actually matter to the person more than any other slab of meat would. You put in the time and effort, your liver has certainly paid for it and it is now time to finally get to know the person you’ve been having sex with all this time.

Talking is recommended, but beware of throwing any romance into the mix. You’re friends. Not lovers. Keep all the lovey-dovey romance stuff to yourself and, whatever you do, do not look him/her in the eyes when in the midst of coitus. When you’re done, finish with a firm handshake or a high five.

5. The Date.

Not sure how you did it – most never make it this far – but you did it… you are now going on your first official date. You’re not yet “dating” in the traditional sense, but you are going on dates.

I understand this can be confusing, but what about this process isn’t? The first couple of dates are crucial as they will decide whether or not you will be moving forward to the following stages or if the two of you will be “too busy” to see each other in coming weeks.

This is one of the trickiest stages as often it can lead to being bumped up a few stages ahead of schedule. Or, as I have already mentioned, it could be the end of the road.

6. The Fling.

After a couple of dates, it turns out that you aren’t really interested in each other. You enjoy sleeping with each other and even enjoy each other’s company, but you can’t see yourself together in the long run.

The feeling is mutual – you both know that whatever it is that the two of you have going on won’t last very long, but you decide that you want to have fun while it does. Flings are fun and usually harmless. However, this stage can look a lot like stage seven: the stepping-stone.

7. The Stepping-Stone.

This stage is like the fling stage with one critical difference: Only one of you knows that the relationship won’t last. While you might be beginning to consider the other a real partner, the other thinks of you as a means of getting into someone else’s pants.

Well, maybe not exactly a means of getting there, but a comfortable resting area while you look for a better watering hole. You like the sex and you even like the person you’re having sex with… you just don’t want to be with him/her for the long haul.

You consider this person a necessary stepping-stone before you can settle with the right person – or he/she considers you as such. One of you is going to get hurt after this process… but you may have skipped it entirely and moved on to stage 8.

8. The Backup.

You have now been dubbed – or vice versa – good enough to be with. Unfortunately, you’re not good enough to be with right now. You’re good enough to keep around in case things don’t work out with anyone else, but to date you, really date you, at the moment would be silly.

These sorts of relationships get incredibly complicated, neither party really knowing what is going on as neither wants to completely let go.

The good news is, you have a safety net to fall on in case nothing else works out. Or at least you do at the moment. No one wants to be a backup indefinitely.

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9. The Boyfriend/Girlfriend.

Wow. I mean, seriously. You should be proud of yourself. Making it all the way to official status in our day and age is impressive – well done. You can now throw on the romance and allow yourself to finally have feelings for the individual.

You can start to be yourself and begin to actually care for the person you have been “intimate” with for oh-so very long. The only thing that you should keep in mind is that getting here doesn’t guarantee that you graduate from the dating scene to marital status.

In fact, most relationships of such caliber fail miserably. But cheer up! You can at least update your Facebook status and make all your friends jealous!

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10. Lost In Translation.

This isn’t so much a stage as it is the platform holding all these stages. In this day and age just about everything gets lost in translation, but mostly because there is very little communication to actually translate.

Most people keep themselves closed off and sheltered, regardless of how intimate they’ve become with another person. Everybody is afraid to get hurt and afraid of possibly, inadvertently, giving up the opportunity to get into someone better’s pants.

Most of the time you won’t know what stage you’re in, were in or are headed to. You won’t be sure if the person cares about you or is only using you for amusement. The theory is that, with time, you’ll either find someone who won’t take you down this road.

Maybe it will come with maturity. Maybe you won’t be alone forever. Or maybe you’ll get to run through these stages for the rest of your life. No one knows! That’s half the fun!

Credit: Paul Hudson – Elite Daily