WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING? – DATING IN THE MODERN AGE (10 STAGES IN RELATIONSHIPS)

6

SIMCGN43

Dating these days is a joke. And not a very funny one at that. I don’t know if it’s because our generation started dating before we hit puberty or whether the Kardashians of the world have ruined what was once a beautiful thing, but the truth is that dating these days is horrible.

Half the damn time you won’t even know if you’re actually dating or not. What was once explainable using a single digit binary code now requires the decimal system.

It’s no longer “Are you dating?” or “Are you not dating?” There are now different stages, one hardly distinguishable from the other – at least while on the inside.

Looking from the outside in, on the other hand, gives shape to the confusing and convoluted dating culture that we have created for ourselves. Here are the more easily recognizable stages:

1. THE ONE-NIGHT STAND.

Regardless of whether you met on the street, in a coffee shop, at your yoga class or in the park, the first date tallies up to one thing: either a successful or failed one-night stand.

It doesn’t matter what the initial intentions are – not as if you know what the other person’s intentions are anyway – on the first date you’re either sleeping together or not. Depending on the results of this stage, you’ll move on to stage 2.

2. THE SECOND GLANCE.

Seeing as how you were probably highly intoxicated the first time around, you decide to see this person one more time. This decision is most likely the result of you not being certain whether or not the person was good in bed.

You managed to black out sometime in the middle of it all and can’t figure out whether the person was the best or worst sex of your life. Round 2 it is.

3. THE BOOTY CALL.

You have officially dubbed him/her, or have been dubbed, worthy of sexual pursuit. Congratulations! You can now move on to phase 3: the booty call. Now it is acceptable for you to text this person at odd hours, preferably when you’re intoxicated or about to be intoxicated, to come over.

In this stage, it isn’t recommended that you refrain from calling the person or see him/her without drinking heavily or taking drugs – it may be awkward. I mean, you’ve only been intimate a dozen times or so… slow down already.

Bart's_Girlfriend_136

4. THE FRIEND WITH BENEFITS.

This is the first stage when you actually matter to the person more than any other slab of meat would. You put in the time and effort, your liver has certainly paid for it and it is now time to finally get to know the person you’ve been having sex with all this time.

Talking is recommended, but beware of throwing any romance into the mix. You’re friends. Not lovers. Keep all the lovey-dovey romance stuff to yourself and, whatever you do, do not look him/her in the eyes when in the midst of coitus. When you’re done, finish with a firm handshake or a high five.

5. THE DATE.

Not sure how you did it – most never make it this far – but you did it… you are now going on your first official date. You’re not yet “dating” in the traditional sense, but you are going on dates.

I understand this can be confusing, but what about this process isn’t? The first couple of dates are crucial as they will decide whether or not you will be moving forward to the following stages or if the two of you will be “too busy” to see each other in coming weeks.

This is one of the trickiest stages as often it can lead to being bumped up a few stages ahead of schedule. Or, as I have already mentioned, it could be the end of the road.

6. THE FLING.

After a couple of dates, it turns out that you aren’t really interested in each other. You enjoy sleeping with each other and even enjoy each other’s company, but you can’t see yourself together in the long run.

The feeling is mutual – you both know that whatever it is that the two of you have going on won’t last very long, but you decide that you want to have fun while it does. Flings are fun and usually harmless. However, this stage can look a lot like stage seven: the stepping-stone.

7. THE STEPPING-STONE.

This stage is like the fling stage with one critical difference: Only one of you knows that the relationship won’t last. While you might be beginning to consider the other a real partner, the other thinks of you as a means of getting into someone else’s pants.

Well, maybe not exactly a means of getting there, but a comfortable resting area while you look for a better watering hole. You like the sex and you even like the person you’re having sex with… you just don’t want to be with him/her for the long haul.

You consider this person a necessary stepping-stone before you can settle with the right person – or he/she considers you as such. One of you is going to get hurt after this process… but you may have skipped it entirely and moved on to stage 8.

8. THE BACKUP.

You have now been dubbed – or vice versa – good enough to be with. Unfortunately, you’re not good enough to be with right now. You’re good enough to keep around in case things don’t work out with anyone else, but to date you, really date you, at the moment would be silly.

These sorts of relationships get incredibly complicated, neither party really knowing what is going on as neither wants to completely let go.

The good news is, you have a safety net to fall on in case nothing else works out. Or at least you do at the moment. No one wants to be a backup indefinitely.

2F04

9. THE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.

Wow. I mean, seriously. You should be proud of yourself. Making it all the way to official status in our day and age is impressive – well done. You can now throw on the romance and allow yourself to finally have feelings for the individual.

You can start to be yourself and begin to actually care for the person you have been “intimate” with for oh-so very long. The only thing that you should keep in mind is that getting here doesn’t guarantee that you graduate from the dating scene to marital status.

In fact, most relationships of such caliber fail miserably. But cheer up! You can at least update your Facebook status and make all your friends jealous!

Barts-Crush-Rips-His-Heart-Out-Kicks-It-On-The-Simpsons-Nightmare-Gif

10. LOST IN TRANSLATION.

This isn’t so much a stage as it is the platform holding all these stages. In this day and age just about everything gets lost in translation, but mostly because there is very little communication to actually translate.

Most people keep themselves closed off and sheltered, regardless of how intimate they’ve become with another person. Everybody is afraid to get hurt and afraid of possibly, inadvertently, giving up the opportunity to get into someone better’s pants.

Most of the time you won’t know what stage you’re in, were in or are headed to. You won’t be sure if the person cares about you or is only using you for amusement. The theory is that, with time, you’ll either find someone who won’t take you down this road.

Maybe it will come with maturity. Maybe you won’t be alone forever. Or maybe you’ll get to run through these stages for the rest of your life. No one knows! That’s half the fun!

Credit: Paul Hudson – Elite Daily

Poetry Mondays – A Rat’s Courage by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

2

cheese-Tom-cartoon-Tom-And-Jerry-_64782-16

The thing about the truth 

it needs someone

to tell it

&

someone

to hear it.

Somewhere in middle

it stays in limbo

between 

the believable

&

the unbelievable.

IT

has the potential 

to save,

to inform,

to protect,

but more then anything else

the POWER to cause PAIN.

I heard once 

to tell the truth

even if it lead to your death,

but what about if it lead 

to other people’s death? 

Courage does not 

come from telling

the truth,

it comes from

dealing with

its consequences. 

How many eggs 

are you willing 

to break 

to make an omelet?

Many men have 

risen to glory,

building empires

with armies behind them

with unlimited resources

all because they knew 

the POWER of SILENCE.

But eventually

the blood 

&  

guts 

become too much

for some people

making brand new

hall monitors,

whistleblowers

just plain ol’ RATS. 

A tip to all GRAVEDIGGERS: 

In the end,

the truth will come out

no matter how deep 

you bury it

in bullshit. 

There’s always going 

be a person with

a slingshot

taking on Giants

trying to seek

fairness 

in an unfair world.

So,

here is a toast

to all the rats 

of the world: 

May you have

the courage

&

the commitment 

to continually

to keep going back

to life’s mouse trap

consistently seeking 

the Real Truth.

Even though IT

might lead to your death

because snitches get stitches

but they always forget

about the ditches.

RYAN FU

Unknown

THE HATED ONES

Buy it on Amazon.com

The Dragon’s Philosophy – Trust the Process

2

image

Weekend Inspiration – Failure leads to your Reinvention (Conan O’Brien’s 2011 Dartmouth College Commencement Address)

1

(Money on my Mind) McDonald’s will close 700 stores this year – What do you think their mistakes were? Will they survive?

2

mcdonalds and golden krust*304

McDonald’s closed 350 stores in the first three months of 2015 and is planning to close an additional 350 by the end of the year.

The struggling fast food giant recently announced it was closing 350 poorly performing stores this year, but on Wednesday McDonald’s admitted it had closed a previously unannounced 350 stores in the U.S., Japan and China.

“Earlier on Wednesday, McDonald’s reported an 11% decrease in revenue and a 30% drop in profit for the first three months of year, a continuation of its troubles in the last two years as it has struggled to compete with new U.S. competitors, a tough economy in Europe and a food safety scare in Asia,” Fortune reported.

McDonald’s started falling into a steep decline after customers began seeking healthier alternatives, a decline which may prove terminal for the world’s largest fast food chain.

920x920

It was definitely a sign of the times when Hillary Clinton stopped to eat at Chipotle while campaigning in Iowa earlier this month, two decades after her husband famously stopped at a McDonald’s while jogging.

“The world is starting to ask what they’re truly eating in their food — and the new conglomerate of natural grocers and restaurants are trailblazing the way into an entirely new economic environment,” Anthony Gucciardi wrote. “In other words: people are simply tired of shoveling garbage into their bodies, and they’re not going to put up with it anymore.”

And price conscious consumers aren’t just limited to McDonald’s nowadays: natural food outlets such as Whole Foods are offering organic foods at the same price as a Big Mac with fries.

Batman Vs Fu by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

Rocksteady-s-Next-Batman-Game-Coming-in-2014-Report-396484-2-590x331

It’s been a long and busy day but I got a lot of great sets of famous people. I proceed on my way home when I get a tip for Batman. No, not the real one but the actor who played him. The tip was all the way on Sunset Blvd but I’ve never shot him before so I said what the hell, let’s go get Batman. So, I drive to Blvd of broken dreams.

When I get there the valet tells me he just got here 20 minutes ago and he seemed to be in a great mood. That was reassuring because I’ve never shot him before and it’s always different when you shoot someone new. You never know if they’re going to be cool with it or a total asshole. But I was a fan of all his movies and he seemed like a cool guy. I check my gear and proceed to get my target.

I look inside the restaurant which he was the only one inside with his son, laughing and having a good time. Looking at him, it seemed like he was a cool dude. So, I pull out my shit, pointing at him then I take my shot. I get a couple of frames off before he final notices me. I calmly put my shit away and give him the thumbs up. That’s how I personally say thank you for people I shoot even though it’s still a fucked up process of stalking and hunting.

I confidently start walking back to my car thinking about watching his latest flick when I get back to the house. All the sudden I see the valet with a concerned look on his face pointing behind me. It was Batman running after me on Sunset Blvd. Everything was in slow motion like in the movies but this Batman had a potty mouth.

“Hey, asshole,” Batman shouts to me.

I look around saying, “Me?”

“Yeah, dickhead. I didn’t come back from a long shoot from the East coast to deal with assholes fucking up my day with my son. You need to get the fuck out of here before I END YOUR WORLD. I fucken know people pal. They would end you in a heartbeat.”

Batman was in my face as I could smell spaghetti coming off his breathe as he berates me on Sunset Blvd with his saliva landing on my face with each word he shouts to me. I could see the valet around us looking as shocked as I was, seeing Batman losing his shit.

Before I get a word, he gives me a shoulder bump like if we were on the playing ground and I stole his lollipop. I started to chuckle a bit, which didn’t help the situation as I could see the veins in his eyes become blood-red. He calms himself down for a bit asking me,

“Are you going to leave?”

I take a step back saying,

“No. But I love you’re movies.”

He shakes his head in frustration and walks back to the restaurant. Before he walks in he takes one more look at me not as Batman but just another man wondering and thinking about the choices he made in his life. I stand firm not swaying my gaze as he gives me a nod, then he walks in. I pay the valet and all of them give me a high-five because they recognized I was in a fight.

I might have not won the battle but I think I got the respect from Batman.

RYAN FU

Unknown

THE HATED ONES

Buy it on Amazon.co

Happy Flashback Friday!!! – Chop Suey! (System Of A Down)

2

Happy Earth Day!!! Enjoy this NASA IMAX Video of this lovely Planet – What are you doing today to help planet Earth?

3

image_preview

Today is Earth Day! Every year on April 22, more than 1 billion people in 175 countries participate in Earth Day events. It is the largest civic observance in the world, and its purpose is to raise awareness about important environmental issues. To spread the word about this special occasion, send an eco-friendly free Earth Day eCard to friends and family!

The first Earth Day took place in 1970. After witnessing the effects of an oil spill in Santa Barbara, California, U.S. Senator Gaylord Nelson organized a grassroots “environmental teach-in” on college campuses across the country. Many people believe that this first Earth Day celebration marked the beginning of the modern environmental movement.  

To celebrate Earth Day, plant a tree, help clean up a beach or park, or participate in a local event near you. Happy Earth Day!

Credit: Punchbowl

SAY “NO!” TO PALM OIL – Save the Orangutans and the Rainforest!!!

11

Orangutan-mom-and-baby-537x357

DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST OF US ARE FUELING ONE OF THE WORLD’S BIGGEST ECOLOGICAL DISASTERS AND ACTS OF PRIMATE GENOCIDE IN HISTORY? 

Borneo and Sumatra are two of the most bio-diverse regions of the world, yet they have the longest list of endangered species. This list includes the magnificent orangutan. These two South-East Asian islands are extremely rich in life, containing around 20,000 flowering plant species, 3,000 tree species, 300,000 animal species and thousands more being discovered each year. Despite this amazing biodiversity and delicate web of species, an area the size of 300 football fields of rainforest is cleared each hour in Indonesia and Malaysia to make way for the production of one vegetable oil. That’s 6 football fields destroyed each minute.

This vegetable oil is called palm oil, and is found in hundreds of the everyday products, from baked goods and confectionery, to cosmetics and cleaning agents… many of which you buy in your weekly shopping.

Due to the massive international demand for palm oil, palm oil plantations are rapidly replacing the rain-forest habitat of the critically endangered orangutan; with over 90% of their habitat already destroyed in the last 20 years.

Orangutans are some of our closest relatives, sharing approximately 97% of their DNA with humans. Orangutan means ‘Person of the jungle’ in the Indonesian language. It is estimated that 6 to 12 of these ‘jungle people’ are killed each day for palm oil. These gentle creatures are either killed in the deforestation process, when they wonder into a palm oil plantation looking for food, or in the illegal pet trade after they’ve been captured and kept as pets in extremely poor conditions and provided with extremely poor nutrition.

Orangutans are considered as pests by the palm oil industry. In the deforestation process, workers are told that if wildlife gets in the way, they are to do whatever is necessary in order to dispose them, no matter how inhumane. Often orangutans are run over by logging machinery, beat to death, buried alive or set on fire… all in the name of palm oil.

Say-No-To-Palm-Oil

Government data has shown that over 50,000 orangutans have already died as a result of deforestation due to palm oil in the last two decades. Experts say that if this pattern of destruction and exploitation continues, these intelligent acrobats of the jungle will be extinct in the wild within 3 to 12 years (as early as 2015). It is also thought that their jungle habitat will be completely gone within 20 years (approximately 2033).

Around 50 million tons of palm oil is produced annually; with almost all of that being non-sustainable palm oil, that replaces 12 million hectares of dense, bio-diverse rain-forest. That’s the equivalent landmass of North Korea deforested each year for palm oil alone!

Palm oil is also having a shocking impact on our planet. The production of this one vegetable oil is not only responsible for polluting rivers and causing land erosion, but when the plantation workers set fire to the remaining trees, shrubs and debris to make way for the oil palms, it produces immense amount of smoke pollution that is toxic to planet earth. This has been found to be the second biggest contributor to greenhouse gas in the world.

By purchasing products that contain crude palm oil, you are helping destroy ancient, pristine rain-forest, wipe out species like the orangutan, and create a large-scale ecological disaster.

Think of the consequences next time you do your weekly shopping; the consequences not only for orangutans and other animals, but for us as the human race; for we cannot survive without the rain-forests either. 

We have a choice, orangutans do not.

Credit: Seenox

Forget me Not – Mark Twain (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910)

1

mark twain rocking chair border two days

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called “the Great American Novel“.

Boat-at-sunset-with-mark-twain-quote-300x215

Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which provided the setting for Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. After an apprenticeship with a printer, he worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to the newspaper of his older brother, Orion Clemens. He later became a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River before heading west to join Orion in Nevada. He referred humorously to his singular lack of success at mining, turning to journalism for the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise. In 1865, his humorous story, “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County“, was published, based on a story he heard at Angels Hotel in Angels Camp, California, where he had spent some time as a miner. The short story brought international attention, and was even translated into classic Greek. His wit and satire, in prose and in speech, earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty.

64d616982857af0f579858f6089e5570

Though Twain earned a great deal of money from his writings and lectures, he invested in ventures that lost a great deal of money, notably the Paige Compositor, a mechanical typesetter, which failed because of its complexity and imprecision. In the wake of these financial setbacks, he filed for protection from his creditors via bankruptcy, and with the help of Henry Huttleston Rogers eventually overcame his financial troubles. Twain chose to pay all his pre-bankruptcy creditors in full, though he had no legal responsibility to do so.

Photo Credit: Baking Equals Love

Credit: Wikipedia