“As you Wish.” – Romantic Films of All-Time List (Give us your favorite romantic movie?)

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“As you Wish..”

Romantic Films of All-Time

Written by: Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

Valentine’s Day is less then a week away and whether or not you like celebrating the day for lovers or haters, we have a list of romantic movies that you can enjoy or cry by yourself or with your significant other. You might consider these films more then romantic flicks because each film captures a moment of time when we were in a different place or mind frame about our relationships. Back in high school watching Gone with the Wind in class, I thought this was the most boring and dull movie I have ever seen. But now in my thirties watching Gone with the Wind is a joy because it’s a classic. We have comprised a list in no particular order, the most romantic films of all-time. Some films on the list you might have seen more then once and some films you have never seen before because you thought it was too cheesy. So, grab that box of Kleenex and that gallon of ice cream and cuddle up with him or her or Fido.  

Check out our Fun Facts and Trivia about Valentine’s Day

ROMANTIC FILMS OF ALL-TIME

Gone with the Wind

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The epic tale of a woman’s life during one of the most tumultuous periods in America’s history. From her young, innocent days on a feudalistic plantation to the war-torn streets of Atlanta; from her first love whom she has always desired to three husbands; from the utmost luxury to absolute starvation and poverty; from her innocence to her understanding and comprehension of life.

Say Anything

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An improbable couple meets after high school graduation and must deal with their friends, family, and other pressures just to stay together. Lloyd Dobler is an average kickboxer with a good heart but limited ambition. Diane Court is an aloof genius that is very closely protected by her father. When Diane gets a scholarship to study in England, she has a weighty decision to make.

Casablanca

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In World War II Casablanca, Rick Blaine, exiled American and former freedom fighter, runs the most popular nightspot in town. The cynical lone wolf Blaine comes into the possession of two valuable letters of transit. When Nazi Major Strasser arrives in Casablanca, the sycophantic police Captain Renault does what he can to please him, including detaining a Czechoslovak underground leader Victor Laszlo. Much to Rick’s surprise, Lazslo arrives with Ilsa, Rick’s one time love. Rick is very bitter towards Ilsa, who ran out on him in Paris, but when he learns she had good reason to, they plan to run off together again using the letters of transit. Well, that was their original plan.

When Harry Met Sally…

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Harry and Sally meet when she gives him a ride to New York after they both graduate from the University of Chicago. The film jumps through their lives as they both search for love, but fail, bumping into each other time and time again. Finally a close friendship blooms between them, and they both like having a friend of the opposite sex. But then they are confronted with the problem: “Can a man and a woman be friends, without sex getting in the way?”

Dirty Dancing

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“Nobody puts Baby in the Corner.”

A teenage girl learns about love, adult responsibility, and how to do The Dirty Boogie in this romantic drama.

Pretty Woman

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Edward is a rich, ruthless businessman who specializes in taking over companies and then selling them off piece by piece. He travels to Los Angeles for a business trip and decides to hire a prostitute. They take a liking to each other and he offers her money if she’ll stay with him for an entire week while he makes the “rich and famous” scene (since it doesn’t do for a man of his stature to be alone at society parties and polo matches). Romantic comedy (and complications) ensues.

Brokeback Mountain

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A raw, powerful story of two young men, a Wyoming ranch hand and a rodeo cowboy, who meet in the summer of 1963 sheepherding in the harsh, high grasslands of contemporary Wyoming and form an unorthodox yet life-long bond–by turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted.

Sleepless in Seattle

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When Sam Baldwin’s wife dies, he decides to move to Seattle with his son, Jonah. When Jonah sees how sad his father is, he calls a radio psychiatrist, who dubs him Sleepless in Seattle cause Jonah says he can’t sleep. He starts to talk about his wife and women over the country hear his tale and one woman Annie who lives in Baltimore can’t help but fascinated by his tale. Annie despite being engaged can’t stop thinking of Sam and soon tries to find all she can about she even goes to Seattle to see him. And once she gets off the plane, Sam who was in the airport to see someone off sees her and can’t keep his eyes off her and tries to follow her but couldn’t catch her. Jonah, who has been going through the mail that his father has gotten ever since he was on the radio, sees the letter Annie wrote on a whim but didn’t send it but her friend did. He tells his father this could be it. But Sam doesn’t think he could have a relationship with someone who lives so far away.

The Notebook

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The movie focuses on an old man reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. But Allie’s parents who disapprove of Noah’s unwealthy family, and move Allie away separate them. After waiting for Noah to write her for several years, Allie meets and gets engaged to a handsome young soldier named Lon. Allie, then, with her love for Noah still alive, stops by Noah’s 200-year-old home that he restored for her, “to see if he’s okay”. It is evident that they still have feelings for each other, and Allie has to choose between her fiancé and her first love.

The Princess Bride

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“As you wish.”

When a young boy falls ill, his grandfather pops round to visit him. To cheer his grandson up, Grandpa has brought a storybook; The Princess Bride, a tale of the love between the beautiful Buttercup and the besotted Westley, a love cruelly interrupted by Westley’s tragic apparent death at sea when seeking his fortune. Heartbroken, Buttercup has sworn never to love again, but accepts the marriage proposal of the rich and handsome Prince Humperdinck, heir to the throne of Florin; but death is no barrier to true love, and in a story filled with exotically-accented swordsmen, big-hearted giants, genius kidnappers, sadistic torturers, vile swamps, Rodents of Unusual Size, the Dread Pirate Roberts and a somewhat embittered miracle worker, the love between Westley and Buttercup twists and turns on a path filled with adventure. Will the True Love of Westley and Buttercup win the day? Will Inigo Montaya find the six-fingered man who murdered his father? Will Humperdinck’s evil plans come to fruition? And, more importantly, will Grandpa be able to tell the story without any of the yucky kissing?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless

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What if you could erase your most painful memories? Would you?

On a Valentine Day, Joel Barish feels the impulse of going to Montauk instead of working. After spending the cold day on the beach, he meets Clementine Kruczynski on the train station and they have a crush on each other. Joel and Clementine do not know that they were mates in the past. Joel has just erased Clementine from his memories when he found that Clementine did exactly the same, when their relationship ended. However, along his erasing process, Joel becomes astonished when he finds that he still loves Clementine and he does not want to lose her, fighting for keeping the memories of their moments together instead.

Titanic

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Titanic, the ship of dreams. Is also known as unsinkable, and it was unsinkable on its departure on April 10th, 1912. And on its epic journey, a poor artist named Jack Dawson and a rich girl Rose DeWitt Bukater fall in love, until one night, their fairy tale love for one another turns into a struggle for survival on a ship about to founder to the bottom of the North Atlantic. Rose leaves her fiancé Caledon Hockley for this poor artist, but when the Titanic collides with the iceberg on April 14th, 1912, and then when the ship sinks on April 15th, 1912 at 2:20 in the morning, Jack dies and Rose survives and 84 years later Rose tells the story about her life on Titanic to her granddaughter and friends on the Keldysh and explains the first sight of Jack that falls into love, then into a fight for survival. When Rose gets saved by one lifeboat that comes back, they take her to the Carpathia with the six saved with Rose and the 700 people saved in the lifeboats. The Carpathia immigration officer asks Rose what her name is and she loved Jack so much she says her name is not Rose DeWitt Bukater, but her name is Rose Dawson. She seen Cal looking for her, but he does not see her, and they never ended up together, her mother, Cal and friends of the family has no choice but to think that she died on the Titanic. But in the crash of 1929, Cal is married, but then he put a pistol in his mouth and committed suicide. So Rose is an actress in the 1920s, and now 84 years later Rose Calvert is 100 years old and tells her granddaughter Lizzy Calvert, Brock Lovett, Lewis Bodine, Bobby Buell and Anatoly Mikailavich the whole story from departure until the death of Titanic on its first and last voyage, and then to Rose all Titanic and the real love of her life Jack Dawson is all an existence inside of her memory, and Titanic is to rest in peace at the bottom of the North Atlantic from 1912 until the end of time.

Credits: imdb.com

Valentine’s Day!!! – Hate or Love it, here are the Facts!

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 Valentines’s Day

Hate it or Love it (Here are the facts)

Written by: Ryan Fu @fu_beatz

I know for me and many other dudes, February 14th is not the happiest day of the year. I’ve been in several relationships where I had to plan out and think about the perfect gift for her. Usually, I waitied until the day of to find that not so special gift, like your typical red flowers, a box of chocolates in a heart shaped box and your standard “Dick in a Box” gift. (My own dick if your wondering)  I have to admit it, I was a lazy and uncaring boyfriend. Shocker, maybe not. Maybe this is the reason why I have been in several relationships because I didn’t care all the time. Trust me, there have been many of nights on the side of the road, trying to convince my girlfriend I had at that time to stop crying and get back in the car.

But fortunately, this article is not about “how fucked up I am?” Or how not to act in a relationship. This is an article about the facts and history about the day that many people actually love, Valentine’s Day. So get all the facts before you decide if you like Valentine’s Day or not.

History

There are various theories on the origin of Valentine’s Day, but the most popular dates back to the time of the Roman Empire during the reign of Claudius II, 270 A.D. Claudius didn’t want men to marry during wartime because he believed single men made better soldiers. Bishop Valentine went against his wishes and performed secret wedding ceremonies. For this, Valentine was jailed and then executed by order of the Emperor on Feb. 14. While in jail, he wrote a love note to the jailor’s daughter, signing it, “From your Valentine.” Sound familiar?

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The ancient Romans celebrated the Feast of Lupercalia on Feb. 14 in honor of Juno, the queen of the Roman gods and goddesses. Juno was also the goddess of women and marriage.

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Many believe the X symbol became synonymous with the kiss in medieval times. People who couldn’t write their names signed in front of a witness with an X. The X was then kissed to show their sincerity.

Girls of medieval times ate bizarre foods on St. Valentine’s Day to make them dream of their future spouse.

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. They would wear this name pinned onto their sleeves for one week for everyone to see. This was the origin of the expression “to wear your heart on your sleeve.”

In 1537, England’s King Henry VII officially declared Feb. 14 the holiday of St. Valentine’s Day.

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Greeting Cards

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Approximately 145 million valentines are sent in the U.S. each year according to estimates by the U.S. Greeting Card Association. That’s second only to Christmas with 1.6 billion units, and is followed by Mother’s Day with 133 million units.

Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

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Over 50 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards are purchased in the six days prior to the holiday, making Valentine’s Day a procrastinator’s delight.

Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets.

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Flowers

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73 percent of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.

15 percent of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.

Roses

Rose Petals

The red rose was the favorite flower of Venus, the Roman goddess of love.

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Red roses are considered the flower of love because the color red stands for strong romantic feelings.

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189 million stems of roses are sold in the U.S. on Valentine’s Day.

California produces 60 percent of American roses, but the greater number sold on Valentine’s Day in the U.S. are imported, mostly from South America.

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Approximately 110 million roses, mostly red, will be sold and delivered within the three-day Valentine’s Day time period.

Chocolate

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Casanova, well known as “The World’s Greatest Lover,” ate chocolate to make him virile.

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Physicians of the 1800s commonly advised their patients to eat chocolate to calm their pining for lost love.

Richard Cadbury produced the first box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day in the late 1800s.

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More than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine’s Day.

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Over $1 billion worth of chocolate is purchased for Valentine’s Day in the U.S.

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Other Facts

In addition to the U.S., Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, United Kingdom, France, Australia, Denmark and Italy.

The most fantastic gift of love is the Taj Mahal in India. It was built by Mughal Emperor Shahjahan as a memorial to his wife.

In the 1800s doctors commonly advised their heartbroken patients to eat chocolate, claiming it would sooth their pain. To this day, many women find comfort in a box of chocolates when dealing with heartbreak.

A love knot is a symbol of undying love, as its twisting loops have no beginning and no end. In the past, they were made of ribbon or drawn on paper to prove one’s eternal love.

Every Valentine’s Day, the Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

About 3 percent of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.

220,000 is the average number of wedding proposals on Valentine’s Day each year.

In the U.S., 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine’s Day with their sweethearts.

A Psalm Of Life by Le’Meinspireu (BLW Contributor)

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A poem by H.W Longfellow, that has unknowingly inspired me since class 9th.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,— act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Check out other great articles from LE’MEINSPIREU

Nearly there…no idea what lies ahead! by Mubeenazam (BLW Contributor)

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So here it is, my first ever blog, very excited as I have no idea what I am really doing but hope that it will be lots of fun and games along the way!   It is for family, friends, people who like me and those who don’t and those who simply want to know what other human beings are getting up to in their life!

My hope is that this blog will interest people, inspire others to ‘Be the change that you what to see in the world’ (Gandhi) and allow some to look at life in a  different way and not be afraid to break from the norm and the ‘system’ we are in.

So here is the overview of what we are setting out to do…hopefully!

For those who do not know me my name is Mubeen Azam and in May of this year I resigned from my job as a teacher after seven amazing, challenging and fruitful years in Cornwall, UK.  A change was needed to reevaluate and refocus our perspective on what life is, so we decided to travel to Canada for a break, a holiday, well an extended holiday…for a year!

I will be travelling with my beautiful, supportive, caring, loving, intelligent and rock of a wife, Nour, who literally has been my guiding light since we first met in January 2001 and who I could not live without as I believe I am of her and she is of me and whatever has happened so far in our life and what will happen in our future is simply meant to be.

By the grace of God we have been blessed with three a beautiful daughters, Fatimah (8, going on 18), Maryam (4, going on 14) and the one who rules, Sara (2, who has been here forever)!

I certainly don’t feel it and many, many, many people tell me I don’t look it  :)but I will be 40 this August and I wanted to give my own personal meaning to the saying ‘life begins at 40’…so we are nearly there as we travel in less than 36 hours, hope you enjoy the journey too and remember, chill it’s just Mubeen!!!

Check out other great articles from Mubeenazam

The Wild Ones by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

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“Bro, how more of these assholes are we going to see this week? I’m getting tired of these losers,” Angello tells me in his thick Argentine accent.

“Dude, we need a replacement for the other cocksucker we fired last week,” telling Picco as I text the new recruit on our whereabouts.

“Bro, that dude sucked dick and not in a good way.”

“I know. He was too much of a stoner. We need someone dependable and trustworthy. We need a killer on the crew.”

“Yeah, he must have a tight butthole, so I can fuck him I’m the ass.”

“Good point. I’ll ask him during the interview.”

It was late in the afternoon in the last week of October as we wait for new candidate on Robertson Blvd. I stand outside off my truck in front of the Newsroom as Angello edits and uploads pictures, while at the same time watching nugget porn. I look up and down the street trying to spot this fool, then I saw young punk walking my way. This kid was shorter than I was in his Ed Hardy shirt, camouflage cargo shorts and backwards baseball cap. At least, I didn’t have to tell him how to dress like a douchebag cause he already got that down.

“Yo, Angello. Check out the new dude.”

Picco stops watching pornography on his laptop for a sec to check out the kid, “this little piece of chit. No Ryan, don’t hire this weak asshole, he probably doesn’t even have a tight butthole.”

“Let’s give him chance, then if he sucks you can find out if he does have tight butthole or not.”

“Hey, do you know where the Newsroom is?” The new guy asks me as I point to the huge ass sign next to him. “Oh, duh.”

“Andy right?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

“You got a strong aura around you. The name is Fu, I’ll be training you today to see if you can make the cut.”

“Great. I’m super pumped up for this cause I’ve been a fan of you guys for a while now and I love celebrities.”

“First off, I don’t give a fuck if you love celebrities because they don’t give a fuck about you. Second, what did you do before you decided you wanted to be scumbag?”

“Well, ugh, I was or I’m still in school for photography. I’ve been in school for the last two years learning about photography.”

“Well that’s a waste of time, especially on this job. Listen up, rook, you just need to learn these three settings to work this job, which the rest of it is just instincts and hard work.” I give Andy the 411 immediately about the position telling him straight up that this was not going to be an easy job, which it was portrayed on tv as I hand him the camera for the first time showing him the settings.

Andy picks up on the settings immediately as I show him how to shoot these celebrities on long and short lens. He struggles with it because he’s not used to his subjects not wanting to be shot as he has to learn fast on the fly. I put him through the ring trying to overload as much of information onto him, so I can see if he remembered what I showed him just moments ago. In this business you gotta be quick on your feet because just like in life there are no dress rehearsals, you’re going to have to deal what is coming at you in a moments notice. This was true for me in the military and it still rings true to me now as a paparazzi.

“You ready to get your feet wet rookie?” Telling Andy to get ready as I spot Paris Hilton walking down the street. “Go shoot that girl!”

“Who is she?”

“Just shoot asshole,” Angello screams at Andy as he storms out of the truck with his camera towards Paris.

“It’s Paris Hilton.”

“Oh, I know her.”

“That’s great Andy. Now run over there and shoot the shit out of her and don’t drop my fucking camera,” yelling at Andy as he runs over towards Paris with Angello.

I check out Andy as he crosses the busy street on Robertson Blvd to join Angello with the other paps shooting Paris. I notice that he checks out his settings before shooting her, getting in the perfect position to shoot her as they get into a store. Angello tells Andy to change his settings to shoot her inside the store, which he does without any help from me. Andy shoots Paris changing his position each time for a better angle, which it looked like at this point, the short amount of training actually sunk somewhere in his brain because I was really impressed with this young kid, the way he used all the things that I just showed him just moments ago. He changes his settings again being in the correct position as Paris leaves the store getting into her custom Pink Bentley.

Angello and Andy run back to the truck as Angello slaps Andy’s butt, which I could see Andy was really excited afterwards with his big ass smile.

“How did you do?”

“I think I did alright?”

“He was fucking amazing,” Angello tells me quickly editing and uploading to the network.

I point to Angello on his laptop, “listen Andy, in this business, you’re either first or your last. We must send our images out quickly to be the first dogs to dinner table. If you don’t shoot, then you don’t get fed.” Andy understands what I’m saying as I check out his pictures. “There aren’t that bad but you need to calm down a bit and focus on the shoot because some of these aren’t sharp from sharp malaka, but other than that I think Angello and I are really impressed with you kid.”

“You got a really tight butt,” Angello tells Andy without even looking at him working on pictures.

“You want to shoot some more,” I tell Andy but I could already tell that his kid was already hooked because it was the same look I had when I had with my first experience being a paparazzi. I was a brand new vampire thirsty for more blood, which I was going to give to Andy.

“Fuck yeah! But I had a question. What if they don’t want to be shot? Like they put their head down or cover up, do we still keep shooting?”

Angello stops what he is doing staring at Andy as I take of my sunglasses giving Andy my serious look. “You never stop shooting.”

“You never stop shooting asshole!” Angello shouts out before going back to his work.

“We never stop until the job is complete. If they try to hide or cover up, just keep trying out different angles and keep shooting until they give up and show they’re faces. This is the difference between a good pap and a great pap. What are you willing to do to get that money shot.”

“Money shot?”

“Yeah, Andy the Money Shot. This is the main reason why we are all here. It’s not like we give a fuck about these celebrities, I mean some of them are cool but they don’t pay our bills and I certainly don’t give a fuck about photography. I just want the money motherfucker, lots of money motherfucker, which you can potentially make if you learn your job, be a hard worker and are willing to do what other paps won’t do, then you’ll be making huge money in no time.”

Chuck walks back to the truck from the bathroom missing all the action again.

“What did I miss y’all?”

“Jesus, Charlie did you fall in the toilet. You masturbate too long,” Angello jokingly tells Chuck.

“You missed Paris.”

“Ah, I love Paris. My bad guys, I was taking a shit and it was a lot. You ever take a shit and it doesn’t stop coming. It just came out of me like a brown volcano.”

“You’re butthole must be like a black hole mang.”

“You don’t give a shit about Paris.”

“Yeah, you’re right but it would have been funny video talking to her about my shit. Who’s this?”

“This is the new recruit.”

“Hi, my name is Andy.”

“Hi there, name is Charles. Did you shoot Paris as well?”

“Yeah, he did, which I gotta tell you he did a better job on his first time than you did Chuck.”

“Well, it’s because I don’t give a fuck.”

“I already gathered that, thanks buddy,” I tell Chuck as he gets into the truck with Angello.

“Don’t point that asshole at me mang, it’s still dangerous.” Angells tells Charles as both of them start laughing in the back of the truck.

“Well, you ready to kill more celebrities?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, then get into the truck and enjoy the ride.”

Andy gets into the truck with the rest of the animals as I find more celebrities for him to shoot, which he starts to act like a season vet with every set he shoots being more comfortable with himself along with the camera. It’s around dusk before we head into a Halloween shop on Sunset Blvd looking for fun costumes?

“Are we going to a Halloween party?” Andy asks me kinda confused why we were doing here instead of shooting celebrities.

“Well, sometimes when you can’t get the “money shot”, you must be willing to create the “money shot.” I tell Andy as he gives me the confused look. “Listen, people only give you the big time money if there is actually a story behind the pictures we take like Britney going insane or Lindsay crashing her car. People love that shit when something is going crazy with the celebrity, so this is why we are here young padawan.”

“I’m still confused.”

“I found it!” Angello tells me bring the costume towards us.

“This is perfect,” telling Angello as Charles walks over.”

“Fuck no. This shit it too small for my fat ass,” Chuck tells me in anger.

“This is why it’s perfect for you.”

“What?”

“You have to show that fat black ass Charlie,” Angello tells Charles slapping his butt as we head towards the cash register.

“You sure this is going to work?”

“Fuck yeah. It’s going to be hysterical and epic,” telling Charles trying to reassure him that this was a good move as he finally agrees with my plans.

“What are we doing again?” Andy asks me being totally confused on what was going on?

“Don’t worry kid, it’s going to make sense in a sec.”

We purchase the costume and head to the truck driving to our next destination as Angello drives and Charles changes into his costume in the back of the truck.

“You don’t mind sexy black men getting naked in front of you right Andy?” Angello asks Andy as Charles and Angello start laughing.

“This shit is too tight motherfucker.” Charles tells me trying to fit into the costume.

“Just try to not rip it, so I can bring it back you bastard.”

“I still don’t know the plan, bro?” Andy asks me.

“Listen, see these stupid milkshake flyers. Well, we are getting $50 dollars every time the celebrity or any pictures with this flyer is shown. So, this is why we got a costume for Chuck to make it even a bigger story, so we can make more money. You get now?”

“Yeah. If the money shot isn’t there, then you create the money shot.”

“Bingo, young Jedi. We must all embrace the darkside,” I tell Andy as he gives me his big ass schoolboy smile again.

“We’re here assholes,” Angello tells us parking close to the spot, which was Madeo, a very popular eatery on Melrose Ave close to Paparazzi Alley, where celebrities like to eat and paparazzi like to congregate waiting for celebrities. We got a tip from the valet that there were a couple of stars having dinner there, so we get ready in the truck before the shit goes down.

“Listen, Chuck. The only way that this will work, if you get into fucking character. You must believe that you are the super hero inside that tight ass red and blue costume. You must believe that you are saving the celebrities from the evil paparazzi. You must the Black Captain America. You must save everyone and make us lots of money. You ready?”

“Fuck yeah,” Chuck screams at us grabbing his Captain America shield along with the very valuable flyers as we bust out of the truck, charging towards Madeos acting like a bunch of wild animals hungry to get paid, which we could see the paparazzi are shooting a celebrity coming out of restaurant.

It was Susan Lucci, she was a soap opera star but at the moment she was on Dancing with the Stars, but we didn’t give a fuck because she was about meet the Wild Bunch. We storm on the busy street of Melrose already making our presences felt shooting our cameras in the air like a bunch of insane cowboys as the Black Captain America tries to save Miss Lucci from the savages with the cameras.

Charles was first on the scene pushing through the crowd of the photographers getting into the front with his tight blue Captain America costume. At first, Miss Lucci didn’t notice him but it didn’t take long before she saw this huge black man in a Captain America costume in front of here taking pictures of her. Everyone started laughing, including me as I was trying to film the insanity but I was too busy laughing at Charles because he looked so funny in a tight as Captain America costume, which you could see his back fat coming out of his costume because he was so fat. But this didn’t deter Chuck at all because he knew what we all knew that night, which was this was the “money shot.” A crazy ass fan with a funny Halloween costume next to America’s sweetheart, which Angello and I knew that this was going to sell as I could see in the corner of my eye, Angello shooting the shit of Charles and Miss Lucci, laughing his ass of but still getting the job, which to my surprise I see Andy right in the middle of the pack with his big ass smile shooting having a great time.

“Chuck show her the flyer!”

Charles spaces out for a bit, which he sometimes does before shoving the flyer in the face of Miss Lucci as she is a bit surprise and maybe a little bit threatened but it did get the job done as she grabs the flyer standing right next to the black Captain America.

BOOM! The Money Shot.

We keep on shooting until we mercifully let her walk into her car as Chuck gracefully puts a milkshake flyer on her car window as Angello takes the last shot of her with the flyer. Ca-Ching! Mission accomplished I thought still filming the chaos as I could see Angello chasing Charles around trying to put the rest of the flyers down his costume pants as we all started saying,

“The Wild Bunch! The Wild Bunch! The Wild Bunch!”

I turn to Andy with his big ass smile on his face, “So, what do you think? Do you want the job?”

“Are you kidding me? Fuck yeah I do!” Andy excitingly tells me shaking my hand in an agreement.

“Welcome to the Wild Bunch kid.”

Captain America Pluggin Millions of Milkshakes to Susan Lucci

RYAN FU

Unknown

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Real drugs by innocent bastards (BLW Contributor)

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we drink tv
smoke porn
sniff sex
inhale adverts
that makes us lazier and weaker 
but what's inside you?

Ona

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I’m here for the Shavasana by Lady Dickson (BLW Contributor)

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I have been doing yoga on and off for about 5 years. In September, I joined an actual studio, Sattva School of Yoga, instead of going to the yoga classes at the gym. Which I quit. Who needs a gym membership when your own condominium has a free gym! The yoga studio I joined is warm and friendly and insanely popular. Good, I like to fall on my face in front of an audience. From September to mid-November, I was going a lot. Mid-November hits and I couldn’t go anymore due to some health reasons. But now that that’s all cleared up, I’m back.

You know what’s not “like riding a bike”? Yoga. For the most part anyways. Before the monthish hiatus, I was bending and doing yoga-y things with somewhat ease. My first class back to yoga at the beginning of January was a fucking nightmare. The practice changes every month so there’s variety, which is awesome. But apparently they decided January should be Hey You’re Fat From Christmas, Let’s Get Goddamn Real Up In Here month. Which, fair.

My ability to flow through the freaking 5 sun salutations we do at the beginning of class, was lost. I can still get through them, but instead of looking like a graceful swan, I am now a drunk flamingo with spaghetti for arms.

I praise the lord every time the instructor ends this portion of the class. After this, we do the basic warrior poses, which are my favourite poses. Hello legs, feel the goddamn BURN. Warrior poses are never taken out of the monthly practices. They are constant because they murder and sculpt your legs into things of beauty.

We move on through the class and I turn into a sweaty monster. I have all the leg strength in the world and can hold poses for a long ass time, but if my spaghetti bullshit arms are involved at all when holding a pose, it’s basically a joke.

Which brings us to the new move that was inserted into January’s class.
Motherfucking Peacock.

Peacockyeah I’ll just file this under Nope.

To be fair, a lot of people couldn’t do it. Which, thank god. I didn’t want to be the only one sitting on my mat, laughing like an idiot. I mean, I was able to put my arms down on the mat like that. But….no. That’s it. That’s all I attempted round one.

The second class, my arms are all backwards and I managed to put my forehead on the ground in front of me. Lifting the legs is a major LOL. Maybe by the end of this month, I will be able to…..um…..watch everyone else…succeed. Yeah. That’ll do.

I know there’s always one pose I cannot do in this class. They always put in an advanced pose, which is cool because GOALS. But instead of just putting the one advanced pose in this month, they decided two would be ideal as hell.

Half Lotus Son of a Bitch Crow.

Half Lotus Crowwhy is your foot…up there.

I like crow pose. It’s fun and tough. But THIS. This is also…fun and tough. The first class, I sucked a bag of dicks. I was able to get Lotus all up in my grill, bending over was fine, but that’s as far as girlfriend got.

The second class, I tried to put my knee on my forearm and lean forward but Spaghetti Arm was like “WAT R U DOING” and I promptly fell to the ground. Life is great and not at all embarrassing.

Here’s the best part about this yoga studio, my yoga studio: Ain’t nobody there to laugh at you falling on your face. The class is filled with beginners, intermediates, and advanced homies. And everyone at some point has probably fallen on their faces in front of people. And no one cares. Everyone is too focused on their own shit to probably even notice you falling over.

Even though I shit on myself for not being able to do these poses yet, I’ve only done them twice. For 5 years, I could not do a headstand. Well the time has come, everyone. I can do one now. I can finally stand on my fucking head without the support of a wall.

I WILL MAKE CROW AND PEACOCK AND ALL THE OTHER BIRDS MY BITCH.

To the people out there who think yoga is bullshit and not a real work out, I would love to see you take a class and not break out into a serious sweat and feel the burn the next day. It’s such a good way to learn about your body and see what needs work. It’s not about getting to the final stage of an epic pose (even though that is an awesome feeling), it’s what you learned on the way to it. Which muscles you need to use, discovering new muscles you didn’t know you had, how to balance perfectly, how to breathe properly. It’s something I will never give up ~~aNd NeItHeR sHoUlD yOu~~

GO TRY IT NOW.

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Chapter 1 by Sleepless Temples (BLW Contributor)

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Show me your beautiful mind
Open this book for me
and let me in.
I can’t help but read.
I want to get the feel
of the pages torn
written all over
and soaked in moments.
Let me hear
all the rumor of mistakes
joys and little victories
silences of deep thought
the all alone You.

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Wisdom Wednesdays – Chemistry

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Photography: Reflections by Impavid Thought (BLW Contributor)

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I wasn’t originally planning a second photography session today. However, tomorrow’s classes got cancelled so procrastination was inevitable. I didn’t think that there was going to be much of a sunset tonight, but I am definitely glad I was wrong.

Here is the work of my procrastination:

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Today was warm enough for some of the snow on the road to melt, which left wonderful puddles for beautiful photos.

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