Batman Vs Fu by Ryan Fu (The Hated Ones)

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It’s been a long and busy day but I got a lot of great sets of famous people. I proceed on my way home when I get a tip for Batman. No, not the real one but the actor who played him. The tip was all the way on Sunset Blvd but I’ve never shot him before so I said what the hell, let’s go get Batman. So, I drive to Blvd of broken dreams.

When I get there the valet tells me he just got here 20 minutes ago and he seemed to be in a great mood. That was reassuring because I’ve never shot him before and it’s always different when you shoot someone new. You never know if they’re going to be cool with it or a total asshole. But I was a fan of all his movies and he seemed like a cool guy. I check my gear and proceed to get my target.

I look inside the restaurant which he was the only one inside with his son, laughing and having a good time. Looking at him, it seemed like he was a cool dude. So, I pull out my shit, pointing at him then I take my shot. I get a couple of frames off before he final notices me. I calmly put my shit away and give him the thumbs up. That’s how I personally say thank you for people I shoot even though it’s still a fucked up process of stalking and hunting.

I confidently start walking back to my car thinking about watching his latest flick when I get back to the house. All the sudden I see the valet with a concerned look on his face pointing behind me. It was Batman running after me on Sunset Blvd. Everything was in slow motion like in the movies but this Batman had a potty mouth.

“Hey, asshole,” Batman shouts to me.

I look around saying, “Me?”

“Yeah, dickhead. I didn’t come back from a long shoot from the East coast to deal with assholes fucking up my day with my son. You need to get the fuck out of here before I END YOUR WORLD. I fucken know people pal. They would end you in a heartbeat.”

Batman was in my face as I could smell spaghetti coming off his breathe as he berates me on Sunset Blvd with his saliva landing on my face with each word he shouts to me. I could see the valet around us looking as shocked as I was, seeing Batman losing his shit.

Before I get a word, he gives me a shoulder bump like if we were on the playing ground and I stole his lollipop. I started to chuckle a bit, which didn’t help the situation as I could see the veins in his eyes become blood-red. He calms himself down for a bit asking me,

“Are you going to leave?”

I take a step back saying,

“No. But I love you’re movies.”

He shakes his head in frustration and walks back to the restaurant. Before he walks in he takes one more look at me not as Batman but just another man wondering and thinking about the choices he made in his life. I stand firm not swaying my gaze as he gives me a nod, then he walks in. I pay the valet and all of them give me a high-five because they recognized I was in a fight.

I might have not won the battle but I think I got the respect from Batman.

RYAN FU

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Native American Actors Quit Adam Sandler Film after Offensive Stereotype insults – What do you think, should have the actors quit?

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According Yahoo UK, a group of Native American actors have walked off the set of an Adam Sandler movie, complaining about offensive stereotypes.

Loren Anthony told the Associated Press news agency he and eight other actors left the production of The Ridiculous Six on Wednesday.

He said the filmmakers had rejected their concerns about the satirical Western’s portrayal of Apache culture.

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Credit: instagram.com/lorenanthony

Anthony said producers told them to leave if they felt offended by the script, which he said included offensive names for Native American female characters.

A spokesman for Sandler’s production company, Happy Madison Productions, did not immediately comment.

But Netflix, which will release The Ridiculous Six, defended the film.

“The movie has ridiculous in the title for a reason: because it is ridiculous,” a Netflix spokesperson told Deadline on Thursday.

“It is a broad satire of Western movies and the stereotypes they popularised, featuring a diverse cast that is not only part of – but in on – the joke.” 

Nick Nolte and Steve Buscemi co-star in the movie, which began shooting this month in Santa Fe and northern New Mexico.

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Credit: Actor Loren Anthony stands next to a seated Adam Sandler on the set of ‘Ridiculous Six.’

What do you think, should have the actors quit or did they just overreact?

Robert Downey, Jr. walks out of an interview when asked about his father & drug filled past – Do you think he made a good call to walk out?

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Most celebrity interviews aren’t meant to be challenging. The actor, actress, or director wants to promote their movie, you want to talk to Iron Man about getting paid to smash things for a living, or whatever. When an informal chat that begins with questions about being a fan of superheroes as a child gets too real, though, the interviewee might walk out on the interviewer.

That’s what happened between Channel 4 News presenter Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Robert Downey, Jr., when Guru-Murthy awkwardly brought up the Avengers‘ star’s “colourful past.” Go six minutes into the clip, and you see RDJ’s breathing get heavier as Guru-Murthy nervously asks whether he’s “free” from drinking and drugs. Downey think it’s getting “too Diane Sawyer,” and he bails.

Which brings me to the point that you should never bring up Ironman’s Father!!!

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Do you think he made a good call in walking out? What would have you’ve done if you were in RDJ’s situation?

Credit: UpRoxx

 

SAY “NO!” TO PALM OIL – Save the Orangutans and the Rainforest!!!

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DID YOU KNOW THAT MOST OF US ARE FUELING ONE OF THE WORLD’S BIGGEST ECOLOGICAL DISASTERS AND ACTS OF PRIMATE GENOCIDE IN HISTORY? 

Borneo and Sumatra are two of the most bio-diverse regions of the world, yet they have the longest list of endangered species. This list includes the magnificent orangutan. These two South-East Asian islands are extremely rich in life, containing around 20,000 flowering plant species, 3,000 tree species, 300,000 animal species and thousands more being discovered each year. Despite this amazing biodiversity and delicate web of species, an area the size of 300 football fields of rainforest is cleared each hour in Indonesia and Malaysia to make way for the production of one vegetable oil. That’s 6 football fields destroyed each minute.

This vegetable oil is called palm oil, and is found in hundreds of the everyday products, from baked goods and confectionery, to cosmetics and cleaning agents… many of which you buy in your weekly shopping.

Due to the massive international demand for palm oil, palm oil plantations are rapidly replacing the rain-forest habitat of the critically endangered orangutan; with over 90% of their habitat already destroyed in the last 20 years.

Orangutans are some of our closest relatives, sharing approximately 97% of their DNA with humans. Orangutan means ‘Person of the jungle’ in the Indonesian language. It is estimated that 6 to 12 of these ‘jungle people’ are killed each day for palm oil. These gentle creatures are either killed in the deforestation process, when they wonder into a palm oil plantation looking for food, or in the illegal pet trade after they’ve been captured and kept as pets in extremely poor conditions and provided with extremely poor nutrition.

Orangutans are considered as pests by the palm oil industry. In the deforestation process, workers are told that if wildlife gets in the way, they are to do whatever is necessary in order to dispose them, no matter how inhumane. Often orangutans are run over by logging machinery, beat to death, buried alive or set on fire… all in the name of palm oil.

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Government data has shown that over 50,000 orangutans have already died as a result of deforestation due to palm oil in the last two decades. Experts say that if this pattern of destruction and exploitation continues, these intelligent acrobats of the jungle will be extinct in the wild within 3 to 12 years (as early as 2015). It is also thought that their jungle habitat will be completely gone within 20 years (approximately 2033).

Around 50 million tons of palm oil is produced annually; with almost all of that being non-sustainable palm oil, that replaces 12 million hectares of dense, bio-diverse rain-forest. That’s the equivalent landmass of North Korea deforested each year for palm oil alone!

Palm oil is also having a shocking impact on our planet. The production of this one vegetable oil is not only responsible for polluting rivers and causing land erosion, but when the plantation workers set fire to the remaining trees, shrubs and debris to make way for the oil palms, it produces immense amount of smoke pollution that is toxic to planet earth. This has been found to be the second biggest contributor to greenhouse gas in the world.

By purchasing products that contain crude palm oil, you are helping destroy ancient, pristine rain-forest, wipe out species like the orangutan, and create a large-scale ecological disaster.

Think of the consequences next time you do your weekly shopping; the consequences not only for orangutans and other animals, but for us as the human race; for we cannot survive without the rain-forests either. 

We have a choice, orangutans do not.

Credit: Seenox

The Truth Hurts – Give them a Reason to Hate

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Intelligence Team by Ryan Fu

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“I’m never drinking again,” said Seth.

As we tried to get our shit together after another night of debauchery with the crew inside C.I.C (Combat Intelligence Central) still pretty drunk from the night before. Good thing C.I.C was a dark place with the latest high tech gadgets monitoring terrorist activities around the world but I was just super glad there wasn’t any bright lights to show any incriminating evidence on our faces.

“Seth, do you have a black eye?”

 “What? When the hell did that happen.”

“It was probably when you got punch by that gay Arabian guy at that super gay club,” said Skuba. 

“What?” from a very confused Seth.

“Listen. I did want tell you but when you get black out drunk you kinda turn gay, which is cool, I mean we don’t ask but don’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah, you pulled us into this real dark club with bunch of Arabian dudes making out then you got into fight with this really hairy dude with his shirt off talking about marrying his camel or something,” said Skuba as he was eating a bag of tuna.

“What the fuck?” said Seth. 

“Oh yeah, I remember now it was right after we got kicked out of our hotel because we trashed our whole floor.” 

“Are you sure it wasn’t after we started a fight with those Army cunts at Planet Hollywood,” asking Skuba.

“Wild Turkey should be banned from public consumption,” said Seth having a look of regret.

“Why the hell are you eating that bag of tuna?” Looking at Skuba.

“Because dolphins are smart and it’s making me smarter,” confidently said by Skuba.

 “You do realize Dolphins don’t eat themselves,” as Seth eats a bag of oats trying to put some kinda of food down his stomach.

 “Is that why you’re eating that bag of oats?” I ask Seth.

“Of course not. I’m a thoroughbred. I need oats to feel strong,” stuffing half a bag of oats without water down his mouth.

“Duh asshole. I’m a dolphin, Seth is a horse and you’re an asshole,” said Skuba eating his bag of tuna.

What the fuck is the matter with us as I thought looking my crew inside Combat Intelligence Central, which at the current moment the most intelligent thing about the room was all those expensive machines and certainly not the monkeys working on them.

“Alright stop with the tomfoolery,” shouted the Captain as he stepped into C.I.C as we stand in attention. Our cap was a former linebacker for “The” Ohio State University, which he was still big as a fridge and still aggressive as fuck. I respected him a lot but I could not shake off his Tom Selleck mustache. I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, which I kept thinking what he would like in a Hawaiian shirt?

“Listen boys, these men are our high target priorities for this month. Please study these faces because they are Axes of Evil.”

As the Captain put up America’s Most Wanted on the War Board, I just kept thinking he’s perfect man for this post because we are a bunch of babies, who need a spanking but I just wished Steve Guttenberg was here to help us out. Fuck Ted Danson! 

“Your job men is explore, identity, evaluate, implement then execute. We are the architects that plan out the master plan then we execute putting the hammer down!”

We stand in attention again after that motivating speech as the Captain leaves C.I.C.

“You guys know what the hell Her Alibi was talking about,” asking Skuba.

“I think he was telling us get more tuna and oats at the commissary, then get some ice cream,” as Seth throws up his oats at the nearest trash can.

“I’m never drinking again,” said Seth holding the trashcan like his baby.

RYAN FU

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The Losers by Ryan Fu

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The Losers

Get a real job!

Parasites

D-bags

leave them alone

you assholes!

You guys are scumbags. 

I don’t know how many times

I hear it in a day

before I start to believe

it’s my name.

 But I get it

this is nation of winners

we love our false heroes. 

We put our idols high in the sky

until they fall

then we all become Chicken Little. 

We discard those

who don’t meet our expectations

then turn our backs on them

like they were bastard children.

History gets written

by the victors

as the losers

fade away in the narrative.

The forgotten ones

still on the battlefield

condemned forever 

 to remember their failures.

Why is there even

a second place?

It’s first

or

nothing

because we all want to be loved.

RYAN FU

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Dating Enthusiasm Scares! by A Parent in Paris (BLW Contributor)

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I have internet dated in three different countries and in each country the expectations and cultural differences are genuinely surprising. One of the nicest countries to date in, is actually Belguim. There seems to be no expectations on a first date! However, today the focus is on how one behaves when they meet someone that they actually have a genuine connection with and to be utterly truthful, this has rarely happened to me. In fact, I think I can safely conclude that this has happened exactly once!

I had decided to write off the Belgain culture (apologies to all the Belguim people) simply because there was no cultural grounding that I could find with the men I had met, further to that (although I am sure this is urban legend) I had heard that they did not shower daily.

So it was surprising that when I met a half Belguim American French speaking man, I had an incredible connection with him. I have honestly never felt so safe and comfortable with someone, even to the point that I felt I was truly not pretending to be someone else with him; it was even more miraculous that I got through 5 dates and (I hope my Dad isn’t reading this) a weekend together. It was utterly amazing. He was virtually perfect and I had not loud alarm bells ringing in my head.

However, I set sirens off in his head; I often wonder how I manage this. My enthusiasm at my sheer luck for meeting someone I really liked, didn’t quite turn me into a stalker, I had some self control but it did make me break all the supposed rules one is meant to have in order to get a man to fall in love or so I have been led to believe by my lovely daughter:

Rule 1: 

Don’t invite them up to your apartment on the 1st date- yup- I broke it (but Dad honestly nothing happened, if he was still in the picture, he could verify the information.) I invited him into to mine to meet my kitten, Darcy, as he too had a cat. He was an absolute gentleman.

Rule 2: 

Respond (not instantly) but respond to texts. I have a dodgy phone so I never know when I receive a text message or not; it took me a few days (and longer than the 3 day rule) to realise he was interested in seeing me and wanted to meet again.

Well, after breaking that rule, my enthusiasm went into overdrive and there were flurries of texts that kept the mood elevated between dates.

And all was well, even up until I left for Malaga with another man. This was a planned holiday with a friend, so I don’t want to hear I told you so! It was whilst in Malaga that I managed to scare this lovely man away from me. I went into text and email overdrive, where I wrote virtually everyday or texted something silly. I hardly gave the poor man time to miss me. What I think were probably cute holiday messages were probably the killer to this potentially beautiful and wonderful relationship! Eagerness, enthusiasm and an exceptional ability to write drove this really lovely man away-reaffirming that my life is one big tragicomedy!

But it gets worse and I am completely ashamed to admit it, as I pine the loss of this genuinely great guy, I took it upon myself to let him know I was missing him a week after the end of the potential relationship.

Now if he is not thinking: Stalker, psycho, nutter about me, he is being really gracious because if someone had done this to me, I would be thinking all of the above!

It makes me wonder how one learns to curb their enthusiasm and stay in control. No doubt, whoever I meet next, I will have hopefully learnt, from this moment in time, to behave in a better manner. But it is just so hard, especially when one meets, for the first time in years, a potential soul mate.

Unfortunately, I raised his alarm bells- such is life!

Check out other great articles from A Parent in Paris 

TAX DAY IS HERE…D’OH!!! -10 CELEBRITIES CONVICTED OF TAX EVASION

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WRITTEN BY: RYAN FU @FU_BEATZ

April 15th is Tax Day which means you’re either relaxing or stressing out about your finances. Please take tare of your taxes and finances because the U.S. Government is nothing to fuck with, trust me I used to work for the government. They’re like Shylocks when is comes to retriving and getting what is owed to them. Learn a lesson or two from this article which is to be like Ned Flanders and pay your taxes on time. Don’t be like Homer Simpson and the rest of these famous people on this list, who decided they were more important than the government. Stop stressing out and pay your taxes on time to get your refund back early so you buy that indoor jacuzzi that your significant other desperately does not want.

Think tax evasion is a poor’s man’s game? Think again. Convictions range from middle class Joes all the way up to top celebrities like Nicolas Cage, Annie Leibovitz and Marc Anthony. Here’s a look at 10 high-profile celebrity tax evasion cases and the lessons they offer.

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1. Martha Stewart: She may be a home and garden guru, but she’s also a convicted tax evader. Before doing jail time for insider trading, Stewart was forced to pay $220,000 in back taxes and penalties to the State of New York, learning the hard way that East Hampton mansions also generate taxes. Her claim that she hardly spent time there didn’t reduce her burden, or appease the state of New York.

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2. Wesley Snipes: You know him as Blade, but the IRS knows him as a tax evader that used various means to hide a lofty income. Snipes was found guilty on three counts of failing to file a federal income tax return, owing the government $17 million in back taxes plus penalties and interest. His attempt to pay off a portion of what he owed during his trial to avoid the slammer, failed and in 2008, Snipes was sentenced to three years in prison. He began serving his sentence in December 2010.

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3. Willie Nelson: After seizing most of his assets in 1990, the federal government forced Willie to pay over $16 million in back taxes and fines for his involvement with a bogus tax shelter, offering new meaning to the singer’s top-ten hit from 1975, “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain.” Offering a note of redemption for the famous crooner, it was later discovered that Price Waterhouse had not paid Nelson’s taxes for years and invested the funds instead.

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4. Nicolas Cage: Cage inspired humor in “Raising Arizona” and sobriety in “Leaving Las Vegas,” but only irony when the star of “National Treasure” contributed to the national debt to the tune of approximately $6 million, according to the IRS’ 2009 charge. Accusing his ex-manager and accountant of making poor investment choices in risky real estate and failing to pay his taxes, Cage set out to make good with the IRS, but still paid considerable fines on the taxes. Be careful whom you trust with tax advice.

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5. Marc Anthony: He may be the husband of superstar Jennifer Lopez, but fame didn’t remove his obligation to pay taxes. In 2007, the IRS served Anthony with $2.5 million in back tax bills. Then in 2010, he received two additional bills totaling over $3 million for unpaid taxes on real estate. Marc Anthony blames management, but few empathize after the IRS claimed numerous years of zero tax payments.

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6. Annie Leibovitz: It was December 8, 1980 when celeb portrait photographer Leibovitz captured John Lennon and Yoko Ono for the cover of Rolling Stone. Since then, her notoriety rocketed almost as fast as her spending. After years of extravagance and poor financial management, it seems paying taxes was just one expense she couldn’t afford. Picture this: in 2009 Leibovitz owed $2.1 million in unpaid taxes for 2004-2007 and was forced to pledge the copyright to every photograph she has ever taken, or ever will, to get the loan she needed to pay her debts.

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7. Darryl Strawberry: Mets or Yankees? Strawberry led them both to World Series titles, but like Pete Rose, he stumbled when it came to claiming taxable income. Both can likely recite their stats for every season played, but neither was very good at recalling income from autograph and memorabilia shows. After years of signing away without paying taxes, both received tax evasion convictions. The lesson? If you earn money from it, so should Uncle Sam.

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8. Boris Becker: Christened “Boom-Boom” thanks to an impressive serve, the 90s tennis star impressed men and women alike with his talent, but the German tax authority? Not so much. Claiming to be living in the tax haven of Monaco from 1991 to1993, Becker was actually at home in Munich with his wife and kids. When the final ball dropped, Becker paid approximately $3 million in back taxes and interest on earnings from prize money, endorsements and appearance fees.

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9. “Survivor” Richard Hatch: He survived the first season of Survivor, winning $1 million. But when it came time to paying his taxes, he stayed on the island and voted CBS off, claiming the network agreed to pay his taxes. In 2006, Hatch was found guilty of tax evasion and served part of a six-year prison sentence as a result. Then in March 2011, he returned for his third prison term for failing to file amended returns. Celebrity tax lesson: Don’t “forget” to pay taxes on your income…especially before 51 million television viewers.

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10. Heidi Fleiss: Known as the “Hollywood madam,” Heidi Fleiss was sentenced in 1997 on tax evasion charges in connection with her high-profile prostitution ring. She served part of her seven-year sentence in prison and a halfway house. Her excuse? Apparently it’s a bit challenging to pay legal taxes on illegal earnings.

While some celebrities engage in various attempts to avoid paying taxes, from filing false returns to hiding money overseas, regardless of the method or fame of the individual, the government can force those guilty of tax fraud to pay back taxes and penalties, and serve time in confinement—a costly lesson for an avoidable mistake.

Credit: Legal Zoom www.legalzoom.com

Don’t Start Nothing, It Won’t be Nothing (Martial Arts Philosophy) – Women’s Self Defense, Rape Escape

This is the first move you learn in level 1 (fight like a girl) of my women’s self defense class based on rape escape. My certification was obtained from Defend University by my instructor steve kardian. Hope you all enjoy, and look for similar self defense classes in your area.