Are you really Sorry? – Reasons why People will Never Apologize

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For non-apologists, saying “I’m sorry” carries psychological ramifications that run far deeper than the words themselves imply; it elicits fundamental fears (either conscious or unconscious) they desperately want to avoid:

  • Admissions of wrong doing are incredibly threatening for non-apologists because they have trouble separating their actions from their character. If they did something bad, they must be bad people; if they were neglectful, they must be fundamentally selfish and uncaring; if they were wrong, they must be ignorant or stupid, etc. Therefore, apologies represent a major threat to their basic sense of identity and self-esteem.
  • Apologizing might open the door to guilt for most of us, but for non-apologists, it can open the door instead to shame. While guilt makes us feel bad about our actions, shame makes them feel bad about their selves—who they are—which makes shame a far more toxic emotion than guilt.
  • While most of us consider apologies as opportunities to resolve interpersonal conflict, non-apologists may fear their apology will only open the floodgates to further accusations and conflict. Once they admit to one wrongdoing, surely the other person will pounce on the opportunity to pile on all the previous offenses for which they refused to apologize as well.
  • Non-apologists fear that by apologizing, they would assume full responsibility and relieve the other party of any culpability—if arguing with a spouse, for example, they might fear an apology would exempt the spouse from taking any blame for a disagreement, despite the fact that each member of a couple has at least some responsibility in most arguments.

By refusing to apologize, non-apologists are trying to manage their emotions. They are often comfortable with anger, irritability, and emotional distance, and experience emotional closeness and vulnerability to be extremely threatening. They fear that lowering their guard even slightly will make their psychological defenses crumble and open the floodgates to a well of sadness and despair that will pour out of them, leaving them powerless to stop it. They might be correct. However, they are incorrect in assuming that exhibiting these deep and pent-up emotions (as long as they get support, love, and caring when they do—which fortunately, is often the case), will be traumatic and damaging. Opening up in such a way is often incredibly therapeutic and empowering, and it can lead them to experience far deeper emotional closeness and trust toward the other person, significantly deepening their relationship satisfaction.

Credit: Psychology Today

 

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You got the Wrong Number – DO NOT answer if this number is calling you

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WASHINGTON – If you get a call from the number (202) 609-7070, the Internal Revenue Service is warning you not to answer the phone.

IRS officials said those who call from this number are impersonating the IRS agents and demand payment for fake tax liens.

Authorities said the phony agent, who usually has a heavy accent, will call or leave a voice mail saying you owe money to the IRS and if it isn’t paid immediately you will be arrested.

The IRS says they have received 90,000 complaints to date about the scam and about 1,000 people have lost an estimated $5 million from the fraud.

The IRS said it will never:

  • Never ask for credit card, debit card or prepaid card information over the telephone
  • Never insist that taxpayers use a specific payment method to pay tax obligations
  • Never request immediate payment over the telephone and will not take enforcement action immediately following a phone conversation. Taxpayers usually receive prior notification of IRS enforcement action involving IRS tax liens or levies

If you get a call you believe to be a part of this scam, the IRS urges you call 1-800-366-4484 to report the incident.

For more information on phone scams and how to avoid being defrauded, visit irs.gov.

Credit: Fox13Now

 

You guys ready to do your Rain Dance because we need to make it RAIN in Cali- How bad is the California drought?

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How serious is California drought? Check out these before and after pictures, taken only three years apart.

Before: Here, the Green Bridge passes over Lake Oroville near the Bidwell Marina in 2011. Notice the trees and shrubs that grow right against the man-made lake’s edge
After: Fast forward to 2014 and even the massive pillars holding up the bridge can be completely seen at the lakes edge, where a wide swath of parched dirt spans between what’s left of the water and the tree line
Before: The marina at Oroville Lake, here in 2011, is the picture of serenity. Recent serious storms in Northern and Southern California have helped give the state a very small reprieve during the 3-year drought, but the effects have been described as a ‘drop in the bucket’
After: Much of what was once an engorged reservoir is now gone at Oroville. Shockingly, only a handful of Central Coast dams have fallen below the historically low 1977 levels
Before: Here, the Enterprise Bridge spans the Lake Oroville in Butte County, California in July 2011.
After: Here, the Enterprise Bridge spans the same reservoir, which has dwindled to a mere trickle in 2014 as California is forced to draw alarming amounts of water from its vanishing reservoirs

Datrex Emergency Survival Water Pouch (Pack of 64), 125ml

Fix Ya Grille!!! – Home Remedies For Yellow Teeth

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Baking Soda 

Baking soda is one of the most effective remedy for yellow teeth. Mix some baking soda in a glass of warm water. Use it as a mouth wash, rinse your mouth with this thrice a day. This will lead to sparkling teeth.

Strawberries 

Strawberries are rich in vitamin C, which helps to make your teeth whiter. Make a paste by grinding few strawberries, gently rub your teeth using this paste. Do this twice a day for 2 weeks, this will surely helps and vanishes the yellow tinge on your teeth.

Lemon 

Lemon has a good bleaching property which can be used to get rid of the yellow teeth. Take the juice out of lemon and add one teaspoon of salt to it then gargle your mouth with this. Scrubbing your teeth with lemon peel is also one of the best ways to make your teeth whiter.

Holy Basil 

Holy Basil have whitening properties, it also treats gum problems like pyorrhea. Take out few basil leaves and keep them in the sun for few hours, once the leaves become dry, grind them and make it as a powder. Use this as tooth powder or else you can make it as a paste by adding mustard oil in it.

Orange Peel 

Rub your teeth with orange peel before going to bed and then in the morning rinse your teeth with water. The calcium and vitamin C present in the orange peel will combat with microorganisms. This makes your teeth whiter and stronger.

Hydrogen Peroxide 

Hydrogen Peroxide has mild bleaching property, this helps to reduce the yellow staining from your teeth. Use this as a mouth wash, Gargle with hydrogen peroxide. While gargling make sure not to swallow the hydrogen peroxide.

Banana Peel 

Rub your teeth with ripe banana peel for 5 minutes, as it is rich in potassium helps to make your teeth whiter. Do this twice a day.

Charcoal 

Earlier times people used charcoal to clean the teeth. Charcoal has a crystal based chemical which helps to make your teeth whiter. Mix some charcoal in the toothpaste to get rid of the yellow stains.

Credit: Health Digezt

America Is Not For Black People

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The United States of America is not for black people. We know this, and then we put it out of our minds, and then something happens to remind us. Saturday, in the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson, Mo., something like that happened: An unarmed 18-year-old black man was executed by police in broad daylight.

By now, what’s happening in Ferguson is about so many second-order issues—systemic racism, the militarization of police work, and how citizens can redress grievances, among other things—that it’s worth remembering what actually happened here.

Michael Brown was walking down the middle of the street in Ferguson’s Canfield Green apartment complex around noon on Saturday with his friend Dorin Johnson when the two were approached by a police officer in a police truck. The officer exchanged words with the boys. The officer attempted to get out of his car. At this point, two narratives split.

According to the still-unnamed officer, one of the two boys shoved him back into the vehicle and then wrestled for his sidearm, discharging one shot into the cabin. The two ran, and the police officer once again stepped from his vehicle and shot at the fleeing teenagers multiple times, killing Brown.

According to Johnson and other eye witnesses, however, the cop ordered the friends to “get the fuck on the sidewalk,” but the teenagers said they had almost reached their destination. That’s when the officer slammed his door open so hard that it bounced off of Brown and closed again. The cop then reached out and grabbed Brown by the neck, then by the shirt.

“I’m gonna shoot you,” the cop said.

The cop shot him once, but Brown pulled away, and the pair were still able to run away together. The officer fired again. Johnson ducked behind a car, but the cop’s second shot caused Brown to stop about 35 feet away from the cruiser, still within touching distance of Johnson. Multiple witnesses say this is when Brown raised his hands in the air to show he was unarmed. Johnson remembered that Brown also said, “I don’t have a gun, stop shooting!” The officer then shot him dead.

After that, the narratives dovetail again. Brown was left where he died, baking in the Missouri heat for hours, before he was removed by authorities. The officer was placed on paid administrative leave.

Credit: Greg Howard

Read the rest of the article at The Concourse

No Woman (or Man), No Cry (Relationship Philosophy) – Feels Like We Only Go Backwards…

Lonerism

Stop Air France From Shipping Monkeys to Their Deaths! (Please Share this Article!!!)

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Stop Air France From Shipping Monkeys to Their Deaths! (Please Share this Article!!!)

Air France claims to be “making the sky the best place on Earth.” But in reality, the airline is making the sky a dangerous and scary place, as it is one of the largest traffickers of primates in the world. Air France continues to ship monkeys to laboratories, despite the fact that every other major airline in the world has ceased sending primates on these horrific one-way flights!

Many of the monkeys Air France flies to laboratories have been snatched from the wild, ripped away from their homes and families. Crammed into tiny wooden crates in the cargo holds of passenger flights, they endure a dark and terrifying journey. Upon arriving in the U.S., the animals are transported to facilities such as Shin Nippon Biomedical Laboratories and Covance—the largest importers of primates in the United States—to be imprisoned and tormented in experiments.

Almost every other airline in the world—including United, Aer Lingus,Air China, American, British Airways, Cathay Pacific, Delta, Lufthansa, China Southern, and Qantas—have shown great compassion by refusing to transport monkeys to laboratories. Air France even canceled an individual shipment of primates after a public outcry by PETA and its supporters. Now we must convince the airline to end this barbarism once and for all.

Credit: Peta

Leader of the Pack (Business Philosophy) – Reasons Why you will never do anything Amazing with your Life

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Because You Have Not Failed Enough

Because you are comfortable in your mediocrity; because you choose not to try.

Because you think everything is too hard or too complicated so you will just “sit this one out”, or maybe you’ll, “do-it-tomorrow”!

Because you hate your job but won’t get a new one; because it is easy to reject rejection.

Because while you’re sitting around failing to try, I am out there trying to fail, challenging myself, learning new things and failing as fast as possible.

Because as I fail, I learn, and then adjust my course to make sure my path is always forward. Like the process of annealing steel, I’ve been through the fire and pounded into shape. The shape of a sword with polished edges and a razor sharp blade that will cut you in half if you are not equally hardened.

Because You Care What Others Think About You

Because you have to fit in.

Because you believe that being different is only cool if you’re different in the same way that other people are different.

Because you are afraid to embrace your true self for fear of how the world will see you. You think that because you judge others, this means that those people must, in-turn, be judging you.

Because while you’re out spending your money on new outfits, new cars, overpriced meals or nights at the bar, I’ll be investing in myself. And while you try to fit in with the world I’ll make the world fit in with me.

Because You Think You Are Smarter Than You Are

Because you did what everyone else did; you studied what they studied and read what they read.

Because while you were away at college, I was studying life; because instead of learning about the world in a classroom I went out and learned it by living.

Because I know more than any piece of paper you could ever frame from a university. Because smart is not what you learn, it’s how you live.

Because I could pass your tests if I had to, but you couldn’t stand for a single second in the face of the tests that life has thrown me. Tests that are not graded on a bell curve or by percentages; tests that are graded by one simple stipulation: survival!

Because You Don’t Read

Because you read the things you are required to read or nothing at all.

Because you think history is boring and philosophy is stupid.

Because you refuse to acknowledge that all the power in the world comes from the words of those that lived before us. That anything you desire can be had by searching through the multitude of words that are available to us now more abundantly than ever before.

Because You Lack Curiosity

Because you are unwilling to ask this simple question… “What if it’s all a lie?”, and accept the possibility that maybe it is; that just maybe, the methods of mass media are under direct orders to: keep you distracted.

Because you call me a know-it-all but refuse to call yourself a know-nothing-at-all.

Because while you’re busy playing Candy Crush, or Megalopolis, I am reading about string theory and quantum mechanics.

Because if we were to go heads-up in a debate, I would crush you. I would make it a point to defeat my own argument; from every imaginable angle; in order to understand everything you might be able to use against me.

Because I would dedicate myself to understanding both sides of the argument so thoroughly that I could argue your side for you and win; even after having just handed you a defeat in the same debate.

Because You Don’t Ask Enough Questions

Because you do not question authority.

Because you don’t question yourself.

Because you don’t understand the power of properly placed questioning in life, respectful disagreements and standing up for what you know to be right in the face of someone telling you otherwise. Unable to question reality; stuck in a self imposed survival strategy within a matrix-style monotony.

Because I know that you will give me all the information I need to destroy you by letting you talk.

Because I study human behaviors and you ignore everyone but yourself.

Because I watch how you say the things you say just as closely as I listen to what you say; and you say way too much!

Because I study the premise of your argument and destroy it from the ground level before you even get a chance to establish your ideas.

Because You Can’t Handle The Truth

Because you refuse to admit that you don’t even know the things you don’t know.

Because even if I told you everything could be different tomorrow you would wait until then to begin doing anything about it.

Because even when you think I’m not, I’m aware of my surroundings.

Because you think that since I have not acknowledged you, it means that I have not seen you.

Because, you walk around with your head up your ass, oblivious to the world around you. Blissfully ignorant of the reality that sits so close to your face that if you stuck your tongue out, just once, you would taste it and realize how delicious the truth actually is.

Because you would become an instant addict. Unable to pull yourself from the teat of truth. Finally able to understand your lack of understanding, and then you would see; then you would know that the only thing holding you back from doing something truly amazing, is you.

Credit: Medium

Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

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You’re not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

Step #4: Take hope – people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Step #5: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

If you’re feeling suicidal right now, please call for help! Call 1-800-273-TALK in the U.S. or visit IASP to find a helpline in your country. Or talk to someone you trust and let them know how bad things are.

Why do I feel this way?

Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us, and our ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you, “That’s not enough to be suicidal about.” We are all different. What might be bearable to one person may not be bearable to you. There are, however, some common factors that may lead us to experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Feeling suicidal is often associated with problems that can be treated

Loss, depression, anxiety disorders, medical conditions, drug and alcohol dependency, financial, legal or school problems, and other life difficulties can all create profound emotional distress. They also interfere with our ability to problem solve. Even if you can’t see it now, there are nearly always other solutions for these problems.

Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder are all treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication. Most people who seek help for their problems and make constructive changes in their lives improve their situation and recover. Even if you have received treatment for a disorder before, or if you’ve already made attempts to solve your problems, you should know that it’s often necessary to try several different solutions before the right solution or combination of solutions can be found. Almost all problems can be treated or resolved.

Why suicide can seem like the only option

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don’t exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. The intense emotional pain that you’re experiencing right now can distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see possible solutions to problems, or to connect with those who can offer support. Therapists, counselors, or friends or loved ones, can help you to see solutions that otherwise may not be apparent to you. Give them a chance to help.

A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary

Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur. Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to subside.

Reaching out for help

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. They won’t try to argue with you about how miserable you feel or tell you to just “snap out of it.” They will not judge you. They will simply listen to you and be there for you.

Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24-hours or a week in step #1, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you. You can call a trusted friend, family member, minister, rabbi, doctor, or therapist. It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as it’s someone you trust and who is likely to listen with compassion and acceptance.

If you don’t know who to turn to:

In the U.S. – Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433). These toll-free crisis hotlines offer 24-hour suicide prevention and support. Your call is free and confidential.

Outside the U.S. – Visit IASP or Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country.

Check out http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm for more info